tow months has gone，I have a stable base：Numbness in right hands and feet.
Difficult erection.
Shedding of body hair.
Old age forgetfulness.
Blurted out like trump.
Unable to think.
Occasional swelling of the head.
like a Robot.
etc.
something maybe better. but I just don’t have the feeling of life.
waiting，waiting，just waiting.time means what？better or not？I lost myself，like most people，most time I don’t believe recover. but everyone told me ，I should insist，fighting and fighting ，day after day，when is the end？I take a mistake，Even if the mental problem disappears，I will be satisfied with it.
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If you have improved since the beginning, think about how much more you might improve later. Is it not worth waiting? We all must ask this question. I hope your answer is yes.
It is hard for me to keep fighting. I sometimes want to give up. But I still have hope because I keep improving slowly. So I keep fighting. I call it fighting because it is very hard to do. I’m sorry this is hard for you. We are in this together though.
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2 months update. Hello, everyone. One week after I stopped taking medicine around 7.20 (at that time, I had slight brain fog, erectile difficulties and low sexual desire), I experienced a terrible panic attack. After that, I had strong brain fog, dizziness, depersonalization, prostatitis, severe depression, suicidal tendency, fatigue, almost numb penis and other symptoms. And in the following month, cognitive and other mental problems became more and more serious. About a month ago, some of my conditions began to improve. I gained a relatively stable mental state, and my suicidal tendency gradually disappeared. About a week ago, my sense of depersonalization gradually improved. Now I feel that I can feel 60% of the world, my desire for life has become stronger, and I began to want to work hard, although my memory is still very poor, But it’s a little different. But I found that there were some new situations in my body:
- The beard grew very slowly and sparse;
- Some eyebrows and pubic hair fell off (some axillary hair also fell off);
- Many long hairs grew on my arms.
- The head swelling and ear swelling that had improved earlier were repeated;
- Numbness in my right foot;
- No earwax;
- The body odor was always changing, sometimes large and sometimes small.
- There is slight pain in the breast (it’s good to stop taking royal jelly).
In addition, my weight has increased by about 4kg. How will I develop? I will keep updating.
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Thanks for updating.
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Sorry, although it’s of little value, I still want to record it. My condition is not very good. This week, the pressure on my head has obviously weakened, and my ear inflammation has been much better (I used external anti-inflammatory drugs and traditional Chinese Medicine), but I found that my right face is slightly swollen, and my throat pain is also accompanied by me. The most uncomfortable thing is that there is always a pulling feeling behind my neck, which is very stiff. When I got up this morning, I felt moderate left kidney pain. I was very frightened. I felt that my body had both chronic inflammation and neurological problems. I didn’t think going to the hospital could solve my problem, because I had been to the hospital many times before. I guess they would prescribe anti-inflammatory drugs for me.
The penis and testicles began to ache again, making it difficult for me to sleep. Whether they withered or not, I already felt numb. I can hardly believe that I will recover. Impotence will accompany me all my life. I have heard too many complaints and complained too much. What makes me happy is that I have fought successfully for another day. What makes me disappointed is that I know that tomorrow is another day of fighting. I hope the pain of my body can dissipate quickly, Mental problems can disappear. I don’t expect miracles. I hope there is really heaven after death.
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Brain fog makes me sick. I feel more and more people’s malice towards me
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I indulge in this forum every day. I’m not interested in everything. When I eat the first poison, my everything is destroyed, 13 mg. Everyone thinks it can’t cause me so much harm. However, three months later, life is still so difficult. I keep looking for rehabilitation stories, just like looking for a needle in the sea. The time is so long, Any living person is the strongest person in the world. Every day is a battle. In such a difficult situation, what is the meaning of life? This damn guy deprived me of my career, love and IQ, and pushed people to a desperate situation. I never lost my grasp of fate. 13 pills did it. I was unwilling and angry rather than greedy for life. I grew hard hair like a beard on my arm, but my beard became thin and thin. If the damn brain fog doesn’t disappear, I will go crazy sooner or later.
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Sorry, I don’t want to say these depressed words
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You still have time to improve naturally. Hang onto that no matter how bleak things seem right now. I’ve seen what you’re going through play out many times.
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While I don’t have brain fog or mine is at least not as bad, I have severe ADHD and it takes me hours to write a forum post. The Downs syndrome shopping cart collectors at my local supermarket are more functional than I am.
Be very careful with traditional Chinese medicine as most herbs/plants modulate androgens and can worsen you, sometimes permanently. Many Chinese herbs or herbs in general have little or no information on how they affect androgen receptors and I don’t think TCM knows what PFS is.
Few things found in nature have upregulatory androgenic effects that could be beneficial to us. One such example is 肉苁蓉/cistanche deserticola or cistanche tubulosa. I am not recommending you try it but I also won’t foreclose others from trying things if they do not find relief in the very long term.
Personally I’ve been maimed from treading the minefield of PFS experimentation and I’d prefer to stay put but I am now forced to decide between taking antibiotics that might make me unthinkably worse or let my peridontal bone loss lead to life threatening infections.
Like Ryan said, you are still only a few months into this. The mind always lags behind the body and the body knows best. Have faith that it can do its job, it is still early.
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Well, friends, I think the mental hospital should be where I go. I’ll be away from the forum for some time.
This could be a dangerous path. It is the hospital’s duty to intervene medically if it is a question of self-harm but there is a good chance they can make things rapidly worse if you fail to convince them that you are not a regular mental patient.
Speak carefully and print out the documentation about PFS from this website. People were forced to take medication that made their condition worse. I’ve seen it happen here.
I hope you are already aware that it is advisable to avoid all SSRIs and other non-SSRI antidepressants. Those drugs are why some people end up here in the first place.
Whatever you decide to do, please dedicate some time out of every day to practice some form of meditation seriously. Do not underestimate it, its cognitive enhancing effects are as powerful as drugs without the side effects. That is what saved my life. I myself need to pick up the slack again. Good luck to you.
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I would also strongly advise against this for the reasons listed above. Please consider all your other options first.
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Sorry, I know everyone is very sad, but I still can’t control myself. I feel ashamed to say these words. There are so many strong people here.
I just lost my hope for life. I don’t know how to face all this. My thinking is chaotic. My thoughts are different every hour. Sometimes I want to commit suicide, sometimes I want to resign, sometimes I’m silent and sometimes I’m irritable.
I want to do something. I don’t want to be out of tune with the world, but I can’t disclose my condition now. I think I can be “normal” only in a mental hospital, or I can be relieved myself, but this is only one of my confused “ideas”… Life is so difficult, but a new day will always come, I hope to really find my current position instead of imitating the original “me”. I plan to change an easy job and accept the change of my life trajectory.
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As said above don’t go to a mental hospital for the reasons mentioned above. Most importantly you’re not mentally ill your hormones and neurosteriods are out of balance which is what is causing this array of symptoms. Even recently a Dr spoke out against finasteride stating it is not a mental illness. You’re looking for a place of safety, a hospital will only be the right place when there is a recognised treatment. Desperate actions often bring regret for pfs sufferers. I had a highly responsible demanding job with pfs which laid all of my symptoms bair and put me through the ringer. It undoubtedly did not help me in anyway. I hung on as long as I could but my abilities continued to wain and I became lost in the work place (once I thrived in). I left work 2 years ago. I removed other stressors from my life. If you can afford and choose this route make sure you fill the void with something else. Sitting alone and going over everything continuously is as bad as anything. PFS grows arms and legs with that type of behaviour which is understandable and the easiest trap to fall in. Do something rewarding that’s stress free that helps others it’s gives you a purpose in this life Try taking some time out from work initially if you can. Always remember no matter how bad things are your kids don’t judge you you’re their hero no matter what.
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Hey brother in getting weird. I don’t want to frustrate you, I just want to show you are not alone with this carousel of weird thoughts.
The new situation is to much for me too. I lost so much from my old life. I’m loosing my mind too. It’s like the brain is racing without any stopp, day in day out. 24/7. Most time I lay in bed and deny my new life totally. Incasso and bills are not payed. Everything is in chaos. And I’m in phantasies about, what if I never took the pills. Than think about commiting suicide. Than to go to a mental hospital, just to stopp the weird thoughts.
It is a very hard fight not beeing drugged in a mental hospital. You have to tell that you suffer a drug site effect and that you don’t want any medication to become clear again.
In Germany it is possible to get ambulant support. From so called ambulant supported living.
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Thank you for your advice.I hope we can be free after all. I’ll go home and live with my parents.
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No problem what we once strolled through now turns us inside out. Making these changes WILL help you and there’s nothing safer than being with your parents The best place!
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Hey it’s the best thing to go back to your parents. I would like to have a family to live with.
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