Sonic's raw food/juice/fasting


#204

6.11.2018
day 83
weight: ?

Mental
tinnitus: 2
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 1
depression: 0
anxiety: 7
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 6
stumbling over words: 0
slurring of speech: 0
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 8
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9

Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 7
tremors: 0
groin: 0
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 0
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: 0

sexual
premature ajaculation: 10

drugs, supplements, activities
no breakfast
no antidepressant
trazodone, 14 drops


#205

Great youre beginning to chew the food.
Eating some crap food may help to gain weight. On the the other hand, you may not following your diet then.
I have actually worsened when i switched to clean eating. You can read everywhere gluten etc is bad but i became malnourished this way or that the gluten free diet itself triggered insomnia. Maybe i broke my enzymes which breaks down gluten this way and can activate them again by chewing. However i think ive got some result from chewing in two weeks so far.

Regarding the lotion. Are you sure progesterone isnt a dht blocker? I googled it and seems to inhibit dht. The scalp definately absorb these things. No doubt


#206

to me, eating pasta and bread is dangerous, as you can read in this log. i feel very very bad.
about prog… yes and no. Prog requires 5ar to transform into dhp and then into allo, so it would not make any sense for Prog to inhibits it’s own trasnformation into allopregnanolone.
Basically, Prog is called a 5ar inhibitor because compete against T, which means that P keeps the 5ar more busy in transforming itself into Dhp.
And yet, P is a truly 5ar inhibitor at huge quantities.

Btw, as i said, since i found out what aga mostly and really is (inflammation) i’m planning to shut down my lotion as well (and do something even safer than this). hope it works.


#207

in this sense, yes, P is an anti-dht.


#208

8.11.2018
day 84
weight: ?

the doctor wants me to work on my mind, he says that if i’m positive, i’ll heal quickly.
since i’m writing now what i should have written yesterday, i wont’ report symptoms.

drugs, supplements, activities
breakfast
no antidepressant
trazodone, 14 drops
L


#209

This morning, after a week in which i was doing well, i have a terrible anxiety, again.
looking at what i’ve changed yesterday in my regimen, i did/did not this:

  • i masturbated (i promised to not do it)
  • i skipped the antidepressant (as i’m trying to eliminate it)
  • i usually stop all the devices within 22 pm but yesterday i stayed awake late, till 2 am
  • didn’t meditate
  • didn’t exercise
  • i had a night snack

i suppose that is it mostly due to the antidepressants.
or maybe masturbation?

update: this has been discussed before. yep, masturbation can worsen my condition.
now, how to resist?


#210

9.11.2018
day 85
weight: 63.5

i’m making a mess with the count of the days…
i stopped all the supps since i’m planning to go on tei.
i’ve put some others fixed here and there, since there are symptoms which i don’t have form a long time.
hope that stay fixed.

Mental
tinnitus: 1
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 1
depression: 0
anxiety: 7
social phobia: 5
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 6
stumbling over words: 0
slurring of speech: 0
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9

Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 6
tremors: 1
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 0
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed

sexual
premature ajaculation: 10

drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 14 drops


#211

10.11.2018
day 86
weight: 62.8

I’ve found a pubic hair that is turning dark again (my pubic hairs became white after i stopped propecia).
I’ve named it Han Solo. It will represent a sign of hope in this galaxy/scrotum.

Mental
tinnitus: 1
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 0
anxiety: 7
social phobia: 7
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 5
stumbling over words: 0
slurring of speech: 0
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9

Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 6
tremors: 1
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 1
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed

sexual
premature ajaculation: 10

drugs, supplements, activities
workout
0,5 escitalopram
no trazodone


#212

11.11.2018
day 86
weight: ?

i did not take trazodone and, although intermittently, I slept. i know it because i had dreams.

Mental
tinnitus: 0
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 0
anxiety: 7
social phobia: 7
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 5
stumbling over words: 0
slurring of speech: 0
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9

Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 1
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 1
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed

sexual
premature ajaculation: 10

drugs, supplements, activities
no antidepressant
trazodone, 12 drops


#213

12.11.2018
day 87
weight: ?

Mental
tinnitus: 0
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 0
anxiety: 6
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 5
stumbling over words: 0
slurring of speech: 0
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9

Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 1
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed

sexual
premature ajaculation: 10

drugs, supplements, activities
0,5 escitalopram
trazodone, 10 drops


#214

13.11.2018
day 88
weight: ?

Mental
tinnitus: 2
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 1
depression: 0
anxiety: 6
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 6
stumbling over words: fixed
slurring of speech: fixed
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9

Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 1
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed

sexual
premature ajaculation: 10

drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 13 drops


#215

14.11.2018
day 89
weight: 62.8

today i don’t feel good. after my workout i ate oranges (like four oranges) and know i have cramps at the upper right hip. when i see oranges i become obsessed and i eat a lot of them. today i ate almost 12 oranges…

Mental
tinnitus: 1
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 1
anxiety: 6
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 6
stumbling over words: fixed
slurring of speech: fixed
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9
poor stress tolerance: 9

Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 1
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed

sexual
premature ajaculation: 10

drugs, supplements, activities
work out
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 13 drops


#216

Do you plan on doing anything with your data?

I thought you might plot some graphs against your diet / exercise / supplement / behaviour changes to try and see what might help, but it seems like you might just be creating a system to depress yourself.

If you list certain things as “10” every day, you’re saying that they couldn’t be any worse than they are, that can’t be true, can it?

Sorry if this isn’t helpful but if you’re not using this process to help yourself, then maybe it’s hurting you.


#217

i’ll make graphs. tracking my progress doesn’t hurt me. what really hurts me is watching my skin, the mirrors, realizing that i’ve aged 10 years in 8 months, thinking that my future is gone.


#218

I’ve also read your posts on a daily basis, and I see your insomnia doesn’t ever seem to improve. Its either 9 or 10 consistently for 90 days straight. Does this mean your getting no sleep, or less then 4 hours a day? Did the Trazidone not help in this sense at all? If not, are you still taking it? The fact that your sleep has been poor for 90 straight days can also be the reason why you feel and look as if you’ve aged 10 years, amongst other issues such as speech and memory loss.


#219

no, i’m sleeping better. 9 instead of 10 means that now my brain connects to dreamland for a while and then i wake up again. before this treatment, this didn’t happen. and saturday i slept without trazodone.

and i look older because of skin lipoatrophy, dryness. don’t be like those doctors who don’t trust us.


#220

I don’t think he’s doubting you. Neither of us are attacking you.

I wonder if you’re fairly assessing things.

If 2 hours sleep is a ten, what is 1 hour? What’s none?

I’m just saying that if the point of recording this information is to help you find what works for you, you have to be able to look at what happened a week ago or a month ago and see if you got even a little better or worse when you changed or did something. Because otherwise you can’t really draw any conclusions.

If that’s not the point, I’ve misunderstood and am sorry.


#221

sorry guys, i should be more detailed and patient with the answers in general and today in particular, since i’m very upset because of my skin, because of my doctor and because sci-hub seems to not work anymore and i’m trying to get the full papaer of this: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326657434_The_Post-finasteride_Syndrome_Clinical_Manifestation_of_Drug-Induced_Epigenetics_Due_to_Endocrine_Disruption
I want my doctor to read it.

So, let’s clear things up.
I know that nobody is attacking me, it’s my fault cause i’m not clear.
I do sleep, every night, at least 6 hours, not less. 10/10 insomnia means that i do not sleep naturally, i sleep with sleep meds. 0/10 should be the natural sleep. 9/10 means that, since the day i started eating my regimen things are getting a little better (sometimes i sleep after the med’s effect ends), that in the afternoon i have these weird connection-to-dreamland-attempts (which fails after one-two minutes) that didn’t happen before, and that sometimes, when i skip the trazodone, i sleep with this interrupted, light sleep (another thing that did not happen before).

@Greek the point of this recording is recording. I think is useful anyway. It’s like a diary.

So, my skin is ugly because of pfs.
Didn’t want to be rude and i apologize.
Friends always wonder why i seem rude when i chat and nice in real life. I wonder the same…


#222

Italy’s authorities are blocking access to sci-hub :sob:


#223

Ok, sorry.

You could use a VPN like Tunnelbear to access things that are blocked.