No worries I understand, I was asking for clarity because to me - rating insomnia a 9/10 comes off to the average reader that you aren’t getting any sleep. Like Greek said, it would be difficult to go back in 2 months and reference your score if 9/10 means you’re sleeping 6 hours a night. In my mind, I would be rating that more like a 4/5 since you’re still able to get enough sleep to function. But maybe I’m misinterpreting your scoring system, you may be scoring based on the level of improvement instead where 10 means no improvement. If I’m understanding correctly now, it’s the latter?
right, 10 means no improvements.
What about getting worse? 11?
1 Like
if i get worse, i’ll assume that 10 was 9. silly boy. 
15.11.2018
day 90
weight: 62.8
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
l
16.11.2018
day 91
weight: 63
today i felt depressed and suicidal again. when this happens is because i need to do a step back in tapering off the antidepressants. i thought it was easier…
Mental
tinnitus: 1
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 2
depression: 3
anxiety: 7
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 6
stumbling over words: fixed
slurring of speech: fixed
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9
poor stress tolerance: 9
Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 1
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed
sexual
premature ajaculation: 10
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
17.11.2018
day 92
weight: ?
drugs, supplements, activities
0.25 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
18.11.2018
day 93
weight: ?
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
19.11.2018
day 94
weight: 63.4
Mental
tinnitus: 1
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 0
anxiety: 7
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 6
stumbling over words: fixed
slurring of speech: fixed
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9
poor stress tolerance: 10
Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 1
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed
sexual
premature ajaculation: 10
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
20/11/2018
a little miracle this morning. i woke up at 7.00 am as the sleep-drug’s effect ended but by 8.00 i started sleeping again of this natural (yet intermittent), refreshing sleep. now my head is spinning, i suppose because my body was no longer used to it, but it feels so right…
and my pubic hair turning black again are two, not only one: han solo and chewbecca.
these improvements are happening despite my hair lotion but i’m planning to shut it down anyway. i’m not scared of progesterone and estrone but i’m scared of hydrocortisone butyrate, a corticosteroid. corticosteroid thin the skin. and can impair the hpa axis. the percentage is very little anyway, it’s 0.03%. if only i could find another way to treat my itchy scalp… any idea?
may the force be with me.
1 Like
20.11.2018
day 95
weight: ?
Mental
tinnitus: 1
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 0
anxiety: 6
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 4
stumbling over words: fixed
slurring of speech: fixed
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9
poor stress tolerance: 10
Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 0
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed
sexual
premature ajaculation: ?
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
L
21.11.2018
day 96
weight: ?
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
exercise
Thu 22.11.2018
day 97
weight: ?
Mental
tinnitus: 1
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 0
anxiety: 5
social phobia: 5
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 5
stumbling over words: fixed
slurring of speech: fixed
laziness/lack of motivation: 7
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9
poor stress tolerance: 9
Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 0
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed
sexual
premature ajaculation: ?
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
hb
Fri 23.11.2018
day 98
weight: 63 kg
Mental
tinnitus: 0
tinnitus button: 3
suicidal ideation: 0
depression: 0
anxiety: 7
social phobia: 6
insomnia: 9
memory loss: 7
stumbling over words: fixed
slurring of speech: fixed
laziness/lack of motivation: 8
loss of personality: 9
cod: ?
disconnection feeling: 9
poor stress tolerance: 9
Physical
stiffness of the left leg: 5
tremors: 0
groin: fixed
poop: fixed
lipoatrophy: 10 (proceeds)
wrinkles: 10 (proceeds)
graying hairs: 10 (proceeds)
dry skin: 10
vitiligo-like patches: 10 (proceeds)
fatigue: 0
joint pain: 0
poop pellets: fixed
flu-like symptoms: fixed
sexual
premature ajaculation: ?
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
L
exercise
been doing things and lot of research so i did not updated. Wednesdey i masturbated and i felt worse. The doctor says i should do sex but i’m not the kind of guy who has sex with random people… 
i’ve almost tapered off antidepressants. If i don’t stop all the medications, including my lotion (i’m going dermarolling btw), i can’t fast nor try the tei program.
my theory is that, as my allo levels are naturally coming back online, on the other hand i reduce allo tapering off the antidepressants. i have to be very careful. this morning i woke again very very bad and after a week in which i felt joy!
100 days have passed since i start doing things but since i stopped everything and started again in october 1st, maybe i should consider that only two months have passed. i feel that once i shut down my medications, things will go faster and easier. currently it feels like running on a car with the handbrake pulled.
indeed i notice improvements in mood and sleep till i go further with the antidepressants elimination. i wonder why my skin doesn’t improve…
Sat 24.11.2018
day 99
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
Sun 25.11.2018
day 100
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
Mon 26.11.2018
day 101
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
L
Tue 27.11.2018
day 102
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
Wed 28.11.2018
day 103
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
L
Thu 29.11.2018
day 104
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
Fri 30.11.2018
day 105
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
Sat 1.12.2018
day 106
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
no escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
Sun 2/12/2018
day 107
weight: ? kg
drugs, supplements, activities
0.5 escitalopram
trazodone, 15 drops
hi @Go_Faster_Sonic - fixed the issue with consecutive replies. Will now only bite after 20. As you were my dear.
as you were my DEER. 
2 Likes
this night i couldn’t sleep despite the trazodone, my sleep inducer. this morning my heart goes at the speed of sound and i want to go to the hospital but what can they do for me? will the put me in psichiatry?
also, my beard and hair are getting white. i’m getting older at the speed of sound. can someone tell me if this can be reversed? if yes, who did reverse this? who did reverse fat loss? i looked like a crazy for someone here who reversed aging and i didn’t find anyone! i feel like i should just die, i don’t see hope.
Have you already tried mirtazapine for your insomnia problem? It works for me, combined with alprazolam.
trazodone works well but i wonder why everybody suggests mirtazapine over trazodone… i’m a little afraid of mirtazapine casue increases the allopreg. level, and i wonder if then our brains will still be able to produce their own allopreg.
did you ask mirtazapine to your doctor? mine doesn’t want to give it to me…
does it work good even for anxiety?