Scott's Story - Age 31, loss of everything

Member Stories
#22

Starting to get truly freaked out guys, I haven’t felt this hopeless since quitting the pill. None of my symptoms have changed for a really long time and I’ve tried it all. My body seems to be in a state of just complete ‘deadness’. There’s this feeling that my body thinks it has reached a hormonal baseline, like as if it has fixed itself, and there’s no need to attempt to change anymore. @Burt_Kocain really hits the nail right on the head here:

My body used to go through waves of different things, like one month it would be one way, then the next month another. The symptoms would fluctuate which made me feel somewhat good as if my body was trying to figure itself out and heal. But now, just 2 - 3 months of static deadness. And the symptoms are the worst they have ever been. Complete, I mean complete, loss of interest in sex - this has by far been the hardest part. I’m generally impotent, I have no more spontaneous erections. Zero morning wood. An occasional nightime wood that lasts for a few minutes at 50% strength. Another really scary aspect has been my metabolism, its dead. I barely eat anything anymore, my body seems to want to reject food - I really dont like to eat. Of course I also only sleep for around 3-4 hours.

The worst part is all the physical effects seem to translate right into my personality. Like my erections are 50% strength, and somehow so is my personality, which has become lethargic and submissive. I could handle this when my body felt like it was going through the throes of fixing itself, but seeing things remain static for so long, I’m becomes a bit hopeless and feeling like I don’t want to look at the future. I need this fixed now.

I took the pill for just under <2 months, and have been pill free for just under two years now. I thought by now things would have improved, but they’ve only declined.

I’m on very low dose of clomid and arimidex for last two weeks - no improvement
DHEA, Vitamin E, pregnenolone, citruline - no improvement
Wellbutrin, trazodone for sleep for 2 weeks - trazodone does give me a few erections here and there, but largely no help
I even tried Ciprofloxain to see if maybe i was lucky and simply had prostatitis - no improvement

I’ve done every damn supplement under the sun, those were weird because they WOULD work, but only one time at a length of a day or two. Now nothing seems to do anything. Even when I work out, which I did religiously, nothing really seems to happen. Like my body is just not responding to it.

Has anyone ever gone through this kind of thing and seen your body suddenly change? What else can I do? It feels like the longer I wait, the easier it will be for my body to stay where it is. I really can’t take this much longer.

Sincerely yours,
Scott

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#23

I was also completely screwed (same sympoms like you) 2 1/2 years ago and progesterone brought me back.

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#24

Progesterone is helping you ?

#25

Stay strong man I feel your pain exactly

#26

Hi Scott.H

Very good description of the situation alot of us are stuck in mate .
Have you tried the supplements that pete on this forum has suggested?
He himself and others have seen improvements sexually and mentally from them im going to order them today myself.

#27

I feel the same too. I have had no improvement whatsoever in two years. Earlier, at least I had hope I might get better. That hope is now gone. I am completely asexual - no libido, no erections, no capacity to fall in love even. At the same time I am alone and lonely and I don’t see how this can ever be resolved. Yet the worst part of this is I have no motivation to do anything and generally feel like I have no future. I can barely do any work and I only do the minimum to stay afloat although even that is very difficult and it is slowly but surely running me into the ground. I am dying a slow death and I don’t see how I can stop it. I used to be ambitious, I used to have goals, I made plans for the future; now I am indifferent to everything and in a constant state of apathy. I am really worried that I won’t be able to continue like that much longer. If anyone has any ideas how to overcome the apathy and lack of motivation, I would be very grateful to hear it. How do you guys do it? What keeps you going?

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#28

Thanks for reaching out. Its good that we are reaching out to eachother because this condition can rally make you feel lonely and fearful. I understand Exactly how you feel. Myself ive been in this awful situation for more then 4 years now and i dont feel it getting any better, actully for me it have almost been getting worse. For me my faith in Jesus christ is the sing that made me not completly lose my mind. I dont now if youre a beliver and i dont want to push anything on anyone Im just feeling that you/me have nothing to lose so why not give him a try. Wish you all the best and i pray that youre body Will begin to heal!

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#29

I have a question regarding different treatments, and what is the recommended next step.

I have been on Clomid and Arimidex for around 2 weeks now. I take a half-pill of Clomid every other day and a pill of Arimidex every other day - so overall, a fairly low low dose. The only thing I’ve really seem to notice is a slight pain in my balls after taking it. I really haven’t received much more than that. Maybe sliiightly more aggresive/moody, but that’s about it.

I’m also on Wellbutrin to try and counteract the lack of dopamine - hasn’t really helped much. And I take a bunch of amino acids, which does seem to work for a very short while but not really a huge effect. I also tried putting a dollop of progesterone cream on my wrists a few times but that didn’t really have an effect either; for some it said it restarted their system.

What do you recommend I try next? I’ve heard good things about HCG, I can ask my doctor about. I’m not going to try TRT as that seems to just make matters worse. I also want to try antibiotics in the hope that this is rooted in parasites.

What I would really like is my libido and motivation back. That seems to be the one thing that never really gets better over time. I really don’t understand the underlying mechanism behind this. If it’s neurotransmitter related or hormones related? I’ve tried it all for libido and literally NOTHING works. It really feels like my body is just dead when it comes to that, like my entire sexual system is gone.

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#30

I guess pine pollen works well, I ordered it and I’ll report :slight_smile:

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#31

Tried pine pollen, gives me a calming effect. No Libido though. How much are you taking how often, does it work right away for you?

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#32

Dude stop trying to raise your androgens.

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#33

Is this meant for me? DO you mean with Clomid etc? What should I be doing instead?

#34

Hey did Clomid help?? Did the pain in your testicle resolve and libido get better?

#35

I haven’t really had much effect from the Clomid to be honest. But then again I am on a very very low dose (half a pill every other day). Libido has not gotten any better, pain in testes is still there after taking the pill.

#36

Oh no that sucks … I also have pain in my left testis now and I thought maybe it’s getting better. like growing in size and libido will be back.

I am very scared now. I will wait and see

#37

What amino acids have you tried, in what dosage, and for how long ?

#38

I’m taking a Vega protein shake almost every day. That along with BCAAs, Citruline, Tryptophan, L-Carnitine, and a host of other things.

I’ve been doing the amino acid thing for a good month now, it began really good, but now it seems like its not working any more.

#39

Im really sorry to hear that the effects didn’t hold up Scott. Why don’t you try excluding the Tryptophan? Read up on stories about Tryptophan, many experienced counter productive effects after taking it in excess.

Are you taking cartinine tartrate? Or acetyl?

#40

Hey guys,

Quick update: I’ve just seen Dr. Irwin Goldstein and will give my review of the experience below:

Large in part, I would think long and hard if you want to go to San Diego and spend over $1000 to see the man. He is very friendly, but not the best listener. He’s been doing sexual medicine for a long time, been on trial for Finasteride, and loves to keep telling you that. He doesn’t really respond to hard-hitting questions well and kind of just blows them off, assuring you he’s an expert and whatever your saying is just theory (which is probably true). But in listening and asking questions, he truly doesn’t know any more that what has been on this forum for years. What he likes to do is ask you to rank your symptoms all the time - “What symptoms are your worst, the one’s you’d like to get taken care of first? Rank them 1 -3” This seems to be what he does with everyone and then he attacks them in that order. I told him mine we’re 1. Insomnia (I need to sleep) 2. Libido (i feel nothing towards opposite sex 3. ED and sensitivity. He basically just stopped at insomnia and libido and prescribed me what is called ‘Addyi’ (Flibanserin) Addyi is a drug that is primarily used for post menopasual women who have lost their libido at an older age, but it often has a similar effect on men. You take it at bedtime, it’s supposed to help you sleep, it takes 2-3 months to start working before you start feeling some sexualness again. Apparently a 3rd of people feel nothing, another 3rd start having occasional sexual thoughts that weren’t there before, and another 1/3 feel like they did when they we’re 18, sexual raging all the time. I’m getting mine delivered soon but would love to hear if anyone has had success with this drug.

He also prescribed me some ambien for sleep.

The whole process was relatively rushed, he seemed mostly concerned with just easing my worry, tellingme his stories, and telling me there really isn’t much that can be done for a cure, but we can give you things that will help.

I made sure to ask him about the infamous study at Baylor university, he says he knows all the doctors who are doing the study and has no idea when it will come out. But what was more interesting is when I told him that there are hundreds of men on support forums like these who are holding out hope that this study will finally be the smoking gun that gets us out of this mess, he wasn’t so confident. He said, at best the study will confirm what we already know, whether there’s epigentic changes in some people, or that the enzymes that allow for proper neurosteroid creation have been irreparably damaged. He said, it most likely reveal any kind of cure, but would just provide further proof that there are indeed physical changes that occur from taking finasteride. He didn’t seem to be too curious about what was in play in the study, as he’s tried so many things that really don’t have much of an effect. When I asked him why only certain people get affected and others don’t, he used the metaphor “We’ll a ton of people smoke cigarettes, but only 10% get lung cancer. It doesn’t have a complete blanket effect for some people.”

I also asked him about Andractim DHT treatment, and he said he has had success with patients who have low dht in the past (my DHT to T ratio is off, with T being high and DHT being low). He suspects that conversion mechanism from T to DHT is still damaged, and it may be worth supplementing with DHT. Does anyone know where I can get a link to purchase the Andractim? I’d like to try a very very low dose to see if I have a reaction. I’ve tried looking on the forums but to no avail. It’s supposed to get purchased overseas.

Overall, the experience was just as expected, not much insight or real help, but we’ll see how the Addyi affects me. It’s a shame really, I feel like the whole thing could have been done over the phone honestly. Not sure if its worth it for the price, but I’m desperate and I think they prey on people like that a bit.

Otherwise I’m doing pretty much the same. The Ambien has helped with the constant waking up, and I seem to be getting a much longer sleep now which is nice. I’ve long harbored that it’s been a lack of real sleep that has prevented the body from truly healing itself. So hopefully this extra sleep will have an effect.

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Where can I get Andractim or AndroHard?
#41

Google “narcolepsy”. it’s about waking up and falling asleep dozens of times at night and feeling sleepy all day.
This is the way my insomnia manifest itself. Is it the same for you ?

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