I continue to worsen. Up and down but mainly worse. I have been on the mental edge for a while now. Time to take a step back. This is what it is. If I don’t begin acceptance it will never happen. Look at all those struggling and disabled around the world. I have behaved foolishly compared to many of them. I need to take responsibility for this life no matter what. My progress is regressing physically. But I believe mentally and spiritually I can grow and strengthen. I will find another outlet for my times of anger. I will try to meditate more. I’m tired of being so angry and miserable. I’m not gonna kill myself so best to make the most of this. I type on this site mostly because I’m so lonely out here for work with nobody. I am not the same person anymore. But I am strong and will keep living.
Hey man are u able to have sex at all??? im just curious… u ought to try and maybe u would feel a little better??
Im destroyed. Period. Whole body. And brain. Sex is a luxury I probably never will experience again.
I don’t even recognize this face, this flabby weak body, this mind. It’s all alien. I have separated myself from this I know the Real me died already. This corpse, I do not take ownership of it. I hate this life and disgusted by it. I dream horrible things. This is not life anymore. Passed now into the twilight zone. Fuck it I don’t accept it. Will just pass through it until final death. Literally a zombie now.
what a bad joke my little life turned out to be. 25 yrs. 23 good years. Doesn’t let up one minute. Presses me down with brainfog. Weakness. Bloating. Fat. Dry skin. Dead face. No cock left. Dry hair. Insomnia. No emotion. SOMEONE FINISH ME OFF ALREADY FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!
Lets just wait and see what the research tells us. Who knows, it might have a treatment. I hold no hope for a cure, but am confident there is a treatment. If it means injections of a DHT based drug like Winstrol all my life I’ll do it.
Yes. Sorry I can be dramatic. My acceptance that this is permanent has taken a while but I feel like I’m there now. Only thing left to do is to chase merck into hell and fight for a cure. Throwing temper tantrums and pity parties aren’t going to get anything done.
If you believe it is permanent then why not go on a hormone protocol that reverses it? No one has ever tried my protocol, testosterone propionate 30mg every day (only form of test that works with pfs) and Aromasin 25mg daily, and hcg 1000mcg a week.
It’s not expensive, try it, and it will induce recovery by stimulating your 5ar, I know because as time goes by this protocol makes me more and more responsive. For non responders adding masteron finishes the job. I don’t think the condition is permanent, I think in order to recover you need to fix the estrogen dominance and get male hormones pumping. I know this is hard, but try this protocol, I already have reversed it in one other and am working on a third. We were all non responsive to test due to the estrogen dominance which is not detectable on tests. Right now your body is working around a different hormone profile, fix the profile and it works. It doesn’t matter what your blood tests say, for some reason this condition is difficult to see on tests, forget the tests, just do the protocol. You can buy all that stuff on the net for cheap.
How do you get all this? Are you being monitored by a doctor??
JQD! Did they shut down your page where you were talking about your protocol before. I can’t seem to find it anywhere now.
I moved the discussion here
viewtopic.php?f=27&t=9865&start=40
Page 3 is where I start talking about my final protocol and the discussion till now and all info
My mom is about to file bankruptcy. She raised me all alone and provided everything for me. All in the hopes that I would be happy. Propecia ruined that. For that I will never forgive them. My life I can accept is never going to be the same. But the damage of taking my mom’s only son from her is unforgivable. I am on the same mentally or emotionally for my family. But I have a reason to live. I am making good money and will continue to devour opportunities to become wealthy. I focus on work and excelling even more now. I don’t drink. I will at least be successful. I have no problems at work and can work 60 to 70 hrs a week here. I will live on very little. I will see to it my life is not a waste. I will pretend to be happy for my family. I will fuck merck over before I Die. That is a promise. I will see justice. I will earn a great deal of money and provide for what my mother sacrificed. I am on a mission. I can live with PFS. I have put my selfish needs aside and will live for others when I can’t find my own joy.
Scare, I found a way to reverse this condition and create an environment for your body to heal, recovery is possible. I don’t expect you or everyone to understand the science behind it, but if it gives me credibility I am working with dr Jacobs and he is in agreement with me, you can check with him. Try my protocol, lower the estrogen and stimulate the 5ar enzymes and dht and the body will start to detect something is off and repair it. It cannot do that with estrogen dominance, this condition causes an undetectable estrogen dominance syndrome.
I feel as you do which is why I devoted my life to finding a treatment for this, I didn’t want to lose my 30s to this, let alone the rest of my life. Try my protocol, you will first of all feel normal again and second you will get better every month. You owe it to yourself and your mother to try this protocol, United and healed we are more of a potent force to make Merck pay for their crimes, but we must resist, we must fight, we must prevail, and I have found the path.
Too much has been stolen from my small family. I will try to fight for those who are weak and weary and fight to destroy rich sociopaths who prey on innocent people. I have found a new mission. To be kind and giving to others, strong and loving to my family, all the while striving to CRUSH the evil predators that exist such as Merck, Big Pharma, corporate america, etc. I need to take some real action. Non violent action of course.
Yes I aim to try your protocol. As soon as I find time to see another doctor. I have some financial goals to meet before I spend anymore money on myself.
Vengeance and anger over time destroy you from within, I know, before PFS I was living towards vengeance and anger of someone who did bad things to me and many others. Finally I am crushing him, he was a CEO of a big company too, I have aligned with his enemies and am bringing him down.
My point is, revenge is a dish best served cold, focus your energy on recovery, you don’t need a doctor to try my protocol, or a lot of money. You could be improved within a few weeks, what is the wait? Doctors aren’t familiar with this protocol (except Dr Jacobs, who learned it from me).
Let’s get the condition reversed, then we can ruin our enemies later, but I’m afraid that battle will be a waste of energy, when anger runs out, there is nothing left…
Can you message me with details to get these items?
Sure, I will do it now
This disease is becoming more aggressive. I tried to go to sleep early last night after an exhausting day. I slept for about 10 hours. This morning I had a cup of coffee and while I was busy on the computer, BAM full force brain fog out of fucking no where! I haven’t had brainfog in a while. So, I look in the mirror and my face is horrible. How do my coworkers not say anything to me? My eyes have black circles under them and my face has atrophied to just skin and bone!!! I swear to GOD I have been off this stupid shit 2 and a half years! WHy is this fucking shit still happening? Im just minding my own business here! SO what am I to come up with??? Don’t get a good nights rest or you will have brainfog!!! I am perplexed and really fucking past my limit do give a damn. Really over trying to predict or figure this out. I am ready to put a bullet in my head and say FUCK YOU pfs. Not gonna tolerate another day of brainfog/ detached emotionless state. Feels like my brains oxygen got cut off. WHo knows like I said I cant find a pattern this shit strikes whenever the fuck. Might as well say brushing your teeth twice a day causes brainfog. No one knows PFS will have its way.
I got shit sleep last night. Today I feel like a zombie.