Please pray for me . Sodium Butyrate warning ****HELP me with my labs****!

Symptoms
#125

I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, it sounds brutal. I understand the urge you have to contemplate suicide but I also have to advise, if you can, to resist said urge and hold out as long as you can. I know it’s much easier said than done, but promising research is (subject to funding) hopefully around the corner and if we get that going then things will look more positive than they ever have.

You also don’t know how your current state will change. It’s perfectly possible that in the coming months/years your most severe symptoms will start to alleviate somewhat and make life more liveable. I certainly hope that’s the case, anyway. Wishing you strength man.

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#126

Thank you man I appreciate your concern

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#127

please dig deeper and hold it together, i know easier said than done.

as stated you may improve one day miraculously, to where its bearable.

consider it a test of mental fortitude, that’s what i do on my worst days. i imagine we’re all special force soldiers sent to hell to survive because we have the capacity to endure the worst - thats the game i like to play in my head as corny as it sounds

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#129

I wrote nonsense. Living with a post drug syndrome is the hell on earth. After half a year I know so many severe cases, whose lives have been stolen. So many hopefully young lives, bedbound for Pharma commerce.

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#130

@hippydoof I’m so sorry to read this man, I know how bad this can get and know how hard you’ve been hit. You have a lot to live for, you have people who love you a great life to return too. I know you want to live. No one knows what this disease can do or where it will end. Does it plateau eventually, the more severe the longer it takes, who knows? Those that get onto this early often bounce back at 3 months for others worse hit its around 2 years. For the likes of us it may take a lot longer. One thing is for sure if you/we do hit this point after a number of years and things come back on line well be new men. We just don’t know no one does… Hang on in there my friend :pray: and try to believe that the lights will come back on and they will shine bright. You’re a great guy and you need to see this hell/extreme suffering through . Your heart is one of the biggest.

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#131

Laz u are one of the best. Thank u all for your concerns. I am still here . Fighting really hard now but fighting still. My sleep pill not working anymore is pretty awful because it acted as a benzo and made me feel good at the end of the night like no other med has. I’ve been onnit for 15 years and never had an issue with tolerance until now. I think something is fucked up in me and I’m.not processing meds the same. Idk . It’s 3 am. I’m on one and a half pill and feel nothing . Just heavy head but it used to be my reward for slogging through the day and now it’s not working. I cried because I notnworking I fucking hate this man just one thing after another after another . I’m rambling I will try to sleep.

Still here still fighting …

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#132

I know this was caused by sodium butyrate but when I first developed PFS, benzodiazepines didn’t work at all to keep me asleep even at double the dosage. I thought surely my GABA receptors will never recover but now after 2 years benzos work again like normal for me.

Although I am nowhere as bad, like you, I fucked up with a supplement and I am struggling. I feel defeated. Please have courage. I hope you can get through the worse of this. You are in my thoughts.

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#133

@hippydoof either reacting negatively or not at all to almost everything inclusive of many foods is soul destroying. For some sleep is the only place of solace even for a few hours. Mate there is no place to hide from this hell sometimes. Benzos blew me apart a few years ago. For sleep I meditate and pray. It puts me out for a few hours and is safe give it a try. I’m sure you already have, but give it another go. Occasionally I’ll have a few lettuce leaves or half a banana or even a jacket potato before bed it sometimes helps. Hang on in there my friend

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#134

Dont do any stupid shit! I’ve been suicidal for half year, i stood in a shirt on my balcony in the late night being close to jump. I never did.

How lucky: i did win back my joy and energy for life, my mental clarity and confidence, despite the fact that im still impotent by 4 pills of fina.

Life continues for all of us in a better way

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#135

Glad u are better man

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#136

Crash hell again. I knew Xmas was a bad idea because of pressures to eat . Ate some carrots and nuts that had soy bean oil I found out after. Immediate muscle twitches and brain fog. 2 days later in full blown hell again. I was hoping the passage of time and being careful would show some mercy on my sensitivities but no. Skin is mush. Mind is mush. I was actually doing a slight bit better. I was exciting about a music video I was editing . Now I feel full empty head no soul. I’ve shaved any progress i made for nothing . I’m such an idiot. I hate my fuckin body and this disease

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#137

It’s an easy mistake to make mate, don’t beat yourself up about it. We spend our lives skating on thin ice so it’s unfair to expect ourselves not to slip up now and again. Thankfully in most cases setbacks from eating dangerous foods usually prove to be only temporary so I have confidence that you’ll return to baseline within a few weeks. Take care of yourself in the meantime and try your best to alleviate any stress.

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#139

Please use the self-report form to post experiences with substances instead of writing posts about it. Thanks.

#140

Update

Although some of my SB related Injuries have improved (my baseline has decreased but I’m not in screaming body dissolving hell) I am finding my mental sides have taken a dramatic nose dive as of the past month and a bit

It started with extreme anhedonia and now all my HPPD and derelaization symptoms are cranked up again but really really fuckin bad. I’m really a mess mentally right now. I have SO MUCH shit I need to do aswell. I can barely function I feel like im on a horrendous acid trip. Head pressure, visual snow 10/10 racing repeating thoughts /music in my head. Confusion and jist so groggy and morbidly depressed like i have no soul when i breath. man this is so awful. I dont even know how I make it through these days.

It’s feeling like this that lead me to take SB so I’m reminding myself here that no matter how bad it is to NOT TOUCH ANYTHING

Wish me luck that this improves cause I am pretty fucking lost right now

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#141

Best of luck brother
Try to rest when you can because stress is obviously not out friend with this

Rest up and time

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#142

I was back in Toronto a few days ago. I was feeling utterly horrendous but agreed to go to a concert. I ate some cooked turkey breast from the grocery store. My stomach immediately started rumbling and 20 min later I had a significant diarrhea like a fire hose. I felt better almost instantly. Like it was pent up badness I had been storing in my guts for a month. I somewhat enjoyed the concert and for the next few days my derelaization and mood was much improved. I’m still better today than I was a month ago but starting to slip back mood wise as I’ve been feeling pretty low the past couple days. Who knows what the fuck is up with this.

#143

Nightmare crash again this time from some shampoo or something had to get my hair cut for a movie my friend is making barber put some shit in my hair and immediate muscle twitching and derelaization
A week later full blown bad again. Feel actually poisoned I was doing bad but not this bad I forgot what the whole body buzz derealization is like. I can’t think my vision is a horrible pixeated mess my dick has shriveled and is like floppy dead with scar tissue in the center . Just hell

I relaxed for a second you can never relax with this

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#144

Hey dude I hope you’re doing OK

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#145

Doing very unwell I’m crashed bad. Can’t seem to get out of bed just insanely derealized and anxious. Weak and brain dead. Praying this passes soon

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#146

This sounds almost exactly what I had about 3 years ago. Yes it is awful

But if this at all eases your mind enough even SOME
I made it out of that time. It was physically and mentally the worst I ever was

I felt ZERO emotion
Was empty completely. Felt NOTHING

It took a few weeks to begin to feel normal
2 months I’d say I was 80%

By summer I’d say I was 90-100%

Try your best to stay away from anything you didn’t prepare food or anything
I know it’s ridiculous but our bodies are changed

1 Like