Penile Implant Journey

Day 3
I wrote this last night before going to bed. Since I have had a little bit of swelling in the scortum, but still very little compared to what I expected…

Went into the clinic this morning and got my drain removed, penis deflated, and taught how to use the pump. I am not to start cycling for 3 weeks. The nurse said he thinks I was probably 90% inflated, far more than the 60% I thought. My guess is probably more like 80%. Time will tell.

Doc was not there, but his nurse was. He said that doc ran into scar tissue and had to “do some extra work”. He said the right cylinder tip part is likely due to the rotation of my glans. He said that spot should grow extra tissue, but as I get aroused, the glans will engorge helping the tips into the glans. I suspect as I cycle the tips will naturally grow into the glans anyways. I am going to trust the process and try to stop worrying about this issue for now.

Taking the drain out was pretty damn uncomfortable, as was him deflating me! But once deflated, I felt so great. Actually, today I felt amazing. I felt like I could have gone back to work today, no joke. Instead, I played it smart and took advantage of staying home and lounging all day.

My flaccid penis is now interesting. It sort of crinkles when you touch it. Its also got a bit of stiff/roadkill to it, but I think it will grow on me. It sits like a small erection right now at about 3:30 or 4. But I expect it to soften over time. I’ll hit the hottub and sauna heavy once I am allowed. The dog ears are there when deflated, but not a concern to me, they are softer than expected. I am able to hold it down or up in my jock/underwear when deflated without issue.

The bulge is not quite as bad as expected, so I happy about that. I do seem to autoinflate quite often. Doc just says to plan on deflating every time I go to the restroom. Which I have been doing a lot. I’ve gone pee every 2 hours since the operation. Losing all that blood and drinking a lot of fluids has kept my bladder full.

The pump device is hard, but the bulb itself was softer to pump that some have said. I am really lucky because I have almost zero pain and swelling in the scrotum. I am able to manipulate the pump with zero issues already. I am pulling it down as far as possible every 2 hours, but my scrotum is so tight due to TRT that it naturally pulls the pump back up. I think I’ll hop on HCG when I can find some to get the balls and scrotum back to life again.

My glans did engorge after accidentally kegeling after urinating.

I did start BCP151 and TB500 tonight. These are healing peptides that another user recommended and should also help w my partially tore ACL.

Hopefully my healing continues and others also can heal as quickly. There probably won’t be any major updates over the next few weeks. I can’t cycle or get into water for 3 weeks so its all just the daily healing till then. If I stay ahead of schedule, I may start to cycle a week early as I know some start cycling week one and I feel good.

I’ll update this post with a YouTube link to this report soon.

NSFW pic from the end of day 2 right after taking gauze and jock off…Its hard to measure right now due to the swollen nature of everything including my pubic region. It seems that I am at 14 or 15cm long (stretched was 17, but erect was maybe 15 or 16). Girth I am at 4.75inches, which is the same size pre implant.

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3 orgasms since being implanted. Forgot how great a normal orgasm with a strong erection that doesn’t immediately go flaccid feels!

Moonman, a question.

You’re among the users with more experience in the forum, and you’ve been dealing with this condition for over a decade. If I’m not wrong, you’ve also made plenty of “experiment” with supplementations, therapies and stuff.

In this 10+ years period, what would you say made you feel the best and / or the worst?

Are there supplements you take to this day that hep you?

I’ve lost count of all the shit I’ve tried. Focusing on adrenal health has been #1. I took cortef for years, and now off of it, I just make sure to work heavily on stress reduction/lifestye and support.

Pregnenolone 100mg 1-2x a day on and off
ALCAR 1-3g a few times a week
Rhodoila a few times a week
Phenibut 1x every 2 weeks
Vit D and Vit k2 a few times a week
MonoLauren daily

I did a modified version of the herb rotation by CD Nuts, and it seems to make me more sensitive to androgens, in a good way.

I was on letrozole for years, but was able to get off it.

I still stress dose 5mg cortef every now and again when I feel stressed or at my max.

My RT3 was high, so I take about 18.5 mcg of T3 daily split in 2 doses.

Thank you for your response.

That one can experiment like this and still be dealing with PFS is freaking scary.

Anything that helped you from a sexual standpoint?

Viagra and all the other PDE5is helped with ED, till they became inconsistent.

I had 1-2 short term recoveries with Tribulus +Mucuna Pruriens in the past, but then they stopped.

Last summer I did a modified version of the CD nuts herbs rotation, which seemed to be a little bit beneficial.

But by in large, the answer is no, nothing ever helped enough to discourage this implant decision.

Day 18

Not a ton to update really, you can read the following thread I created to get an idea of my continual biggest concern with the tips in the glans.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=17323

I’ve began hot bath cycling which is way better than cycling outside of the bath or in the shower. You get way more pumps in and I am feeling some popping in the glans which is likely scar tissue breaking up. 30 mins in the tub = 1 hr outside of it cycling wise it feels. Hot bath also seems to speed up the healing of the bruising a ton.

All of my surgery glue finally came off yesterday, my infrapubic scar is so much smaller than I thought. Its almost impossible to see. Tatem did a great job with it, as he did with the pump and reservoir.

I could easily have sex at this point, I probably could of a week ago. If I had a wife, who was along this journey with me I would have by now. But navigating this process with a new women makes me want to wait a bit longer. I’ve got this girl I’ve been chatting up through text, I know she would hang out if I just ask, but I want to make sure I am mentally and physically ready to test these new waters before I do that. One weird fear I have is that we start making out, some slight foreplay, and then she feels my penis and notices its slightly different and not getting erect. I’ll need to get to the bathroom early to pump up, but then its sort of hard to conceal/point in directions with pants on. I’m likely overthinking the logistics.

I’ve been keeping it pointed up when flaccid. Seems more comfortable than down so far as I still auto inflate. Some days my flaccid feels fine, others its a nuisance. Find thing the right underwear and pants combo is key. Tight khaki shorts the other day really made for a super uncomfortable day. Time will take care of this discomfort.

Went golfing a few days last week, went to the gym, been bike riding a bit, ready to get back into the lake.

I talked to Dr Karpman yesterday, he thinks its possible I was undersized, and said to wait a month and then come visit him and he can revise if needed. I still am trusting Tatem and giving it time. I meet with Tatem again in 9 days.

Not much else to add, my focus now is aggressive hot bath cycling and hoping to add length. Even though Eid and Karpman say the Titan does not expand in length, there is research that states otherwise.

Here is a picture I took at the lake on day 10 or so, I have found that swim suits that have 2 layers like these Viori ones hide the flaccid better those with only one layer of material. Same for underwear.

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First, thank you very much for keeping us updated in your journey.

I wouldn’t stress at all and keep waiting what the doc says. This is something you can’t control. Like the guys in FT said, your doc is well known in implanting so I would trust him by now.

For the part with the girls: I would use the toilet as an excuse when you are making out with her. Pump it up and come back to her BUT not naked, do it with your jeans on all the time. She wouldn’t notice. Honestly I wouldn’t care if she is grabbing the dick before pumping up. You can still show her that you can get hard and that is what matters at the end.

Hi, moonman, it is really a brave decision, may I know how is your sex drive right now? I am also considering to get an implant to get my sex life back, but since my libido is still very low, I wonder if sex will be enjoyable after the surgery?

It is tough to answer that because of a number of reasons, but I will try my best. My sex drive is still low and I have not yet attempted to have sex. Typically 3 weeks is the earliest a doctor wants you to, but I healed up so quickly I was able to masturbate and test the waters early.

I’d like to see what happens with my drive once I am in a relationship and having no fear of failure. I do expect that low key constant anxiety of failure to disappear in time, which I am hoping frees up some sex drive, only time will tell.

Was able to orgasm again this morning, again it was great. So in that manner, much much butter. If you pump up close to 100%, its really rock hard and makes it tougher to climax. I actually let a little bit of fluid out after 20 minutes and then was able to climax pretty easily haha. When using Viagra in the past 3 years, I still had trouble lasting more than a few minutes, which sucked. So it will be nice to be able to last longer, and even if I don’t, I will still be erect and able to continue!

The other thing I should add is that my glans (head) still gets erect as well as the sponginoseum (underside of penis). Some guys that get implanted don’t have that ability or it takes a long time to get back. Mine was back within a week or two. So for example, while I do not get typical morning wood, I do still get some engorgement of the penis in those areas.

I do think I am overestimating my loss of length. I was 17cm stretched (and probably pre ED), 15-15.5 erect without Viagra. Today, with glans engorgement I am at 13cm. I full expect to gain at least 1-2cm in length over the next 6-12 months. And then future revisions (if needed) I can get a bigger implant and probably be back at my pre-ED length.

I am already larger in girth than I ever was.

There are other “models”, I chose the Titan. The Titan is so strong, that when it is flaccid it has some “dog ears” or kinks that can initially be uncomfortable. I almost wish I had the AMS CX instead, only the flaccid looks more natural and doesn’t have the kinks. However, once the “aches” from the kinks go away in a few months, I will likely be happy I chose the Titan.

5 weeks to the day after implant I popped my bionic cherry

Back at my previous employer, there was this new hot blonde who made it pretty apparent that she wanted me. I was in a relationship and also was her supervisor at the time so I played it professional. I knew through some others that she was borderline obsessed with me tho.

A few years has gone by but a few times a year I’d hear through my cousin who knows her that she will always comment on any Snapchat’s he posts w me how she still wants to have my babies .

Last week I ran into her IG and sent a friend request and she followed back then we both liked each of one of our pictures back to back, universal sign that she was down . This week, she commented on a story I posted and I turned it into a flirty convo and ended up giving her my address and telling her to come over. This chick says she already knew my address since she looked up my divorce so I’ve over here like oh Jesus what am I getting myself into…but time to test the bionics…

She gets over and we just chat and catch up for 30m in my kitchen while having some drinks. I could tell she was super nervous which she admitted. She basically laid out that she has always been obsessed w me. Anytime we were ever in a room together she would fantasize about fucking. Knows I had a vasectomy through my cousin but goes “those can be reversible right!?” . I’m apparently a glutton for crazy. I actually was a bit surprised that she did show she has more maturity and brains than what I used to think tho, but that is not why I had her over. I had her over because she is a solid 9 who is DTF and I had a newly minted penis that needs some testing.

I have not had sex since my divorce 7 months ago as I’ve been waiting to get the implant. I’ve started wondering if I forgot how it all works! Throughout the day earlier as I was thinking about her coming over, I was getting some spurts off excitement and feeling in my penis. This was nice because PFS caused low libido but also ED. I could tell some of that fear of sex was leaving my brain. However, I still had very minor fear of what my new bionic Dick would do as I didn’t know if it would be painful, or if my slightly shorter length (13cm now) was long enough (hint, it is), or if she would feel my balls or shaft snd notice anything, or when I would pump up…

I ended up pumping up about 50-75% right before she got here and just pointed it up in my pants. Since starting the stretching routine last week I can easily point it up w out discomfort. I also had taken about 50mg of Viagra a few hours before (after playing basketball) just to be safe and make sure the glans and sponginosium would get engorged. They already do for me without V, but I wanted to play it safe for my first attempt. Definitely not needed.
So as we chatted for 30m in my kitchen, I already had a decent chubby that easily would have been enough for penetration and also in case she put her hands down my pants.

I finally said we should go watch a movie, but my living room TV remote is broken (truth) so we would either have to go in the basement or in my bedroom. She laughed and didn’t believe my story. I said “let’s do my bedroom” with a smile.
Went into my bedroom, she is clearly nervous. She has wanted to fuck me for years and she knows it’s about to happen. I get in bed and turn on a show we both said we liked and then tell her I wanted to see if she was a good kisser so I go in for that to get a test. After a few minutes of kissing I tell her I need to use the restroom real quick. She asked what I graded her (kiss) and I said I’d need a few more trials before I could accurately score it. Took me like 10 seconds in the bathroom to pump up to 85-90% and then 30 secs to piss.

I hop back in bed w her and start kissing her again. Eventually leading to playing her breasts and then beginning to finger her. This whole time (10mins?), I calm but excited. Before foreplay escalated, she became more nervous. She said it’s been a while for her (she is going through a split w her fiancé) and asked if I always have girls over. I just kept telling her she was sexy . I kept thinking about how in the past this would be a moment where I felt rushed and nervous that I would either lose my erection or maybe it wouldn’t work so I needed to either go down and get her off ASAP or penetrate before I went soft or came too fast. But not now. Now I knew my Dick was staying erect. I didn’t have to worry. I just focused or her breaths, her movement, actual foreplay.

Finally I asked her if she minded if I grabbed a condom which she clearly wanted. I rolled over and grabbed one from a drawer by my bed and tried to put it on. If you have read any of my story you will know my tips don’t enter my glans quit as much as some others do, due to some scar tissue and biological idiosyncracities. This has caused very slight “floppy glans” which I can have fixed by having a glanuospecy but will have to take 6 weeks off sex. We will figure out later if I decide I need to go that route or not… Putting on the condom took just a second or 2 longer than normal because of the very slight floppy glans. I had to be more careful than normal putting it on But I got it in and it stayed w no issue. I think I may have actually snuck in one more pump right then too…

From there, I proceeded to enter her from the top. There also was a split second where my glans didn’t initially penetrate like normal due to the “floppy ness” (I’m kind of over exaggerating this part), but a second later I got it in no issue. Guarantee she had no idea.

I probably fucked her for 15-20 minutes. There was mostly no pain, only a little bit of uncomfrotbaleness in the tips/glans. I was more worried about any potential for pain than any pain that was there. It felt great, even with a condom on, which I havnt had to use in years.

I probably came in like 7 minutes, but just kept going for another 10 minutes or so. She was definitely enjoying it and I was able to go hard and soft and slow and fast. Kept thinking in my head about how crazy this was. We really only did typical missionary position and then with her legs up more towards the end which I def was able to get deeper and enter from slightly different angles which she loved. The last few minutes did get kinda uncomfortable as I really really had to go piss. After we were done I went to the bathroom, pissed, deflated, threw away the condom. Easy peasy and she had noooo idea I am bionic. She never really tried to grab my Dick or balls so that obviously helped. I’ve also came to realize that I don’t really care if she finds out. She would probably not care or even like it…I have a new super power, and I shouldnt be embarrassed about the “mountain biking accident” that caused it lol

We ended up laying in bed watching that show for an hour or so after. I def could have gone for round 2 but I was exhausted and needed to be up early so I told her that I needed to get up early and walked her out. I could tell she wanted to stay the night, but I value my sleep time alone.

All in all it went better than expected. Next time I will pump up a little more to about 95%, I think I slightly under pumped being afraid of over pumping, but even then it was plenty. Very satisfied with the “logistical” side of when and how to pump. It was way easier and more efficient than I thought it would go. I expected to wake up w tender sore glans but I feel great and ready for round 2.

You dog you lol
Good stuff, happy it worked out

It makes it so much better when they let you know they’re into you. Way more comfort, means better performance

Hi moonman,
Congratulation it works well for you. I have a few questions.
firstly, How enjoyable would you rate your sex with a titan in range of 1-10 if the pre-pfs sex is 10. And I also I have read your 10 years ago’s member story, I noticed you also suffered from testicles shrinkage, how bad is it and did you recovered from shrinkage? if not would you worry about fertility?

My testicles are still shrunken from TRT. I could probably take HCG to increase their size as it has helped in the past. I am no longer concerned about fertility, I actually got a vasectomy. I have 2 kids, I got mom pregnant on the first try both times.

I would give this first time a 6 or 7. It would maybe be a 7 or 8 if I hadnt had to piss so bad haha.

Implanted breasts meet implanted penis

The lady that I had over the other week (not the one I had sex with) came over last night. We’ll call her lady #2 for future encounters. She looked much better tonight as she didn’t have fake tan on. We had some wine and chatted in the kitchen for a while. I basically followed the same routine as the previous chick I had over. Semi-pumped, chat in kitchen, invite into room for a movie, start making out, move to some light foreplay, excuse myself to bathroom to piss, pump, and get a condom, back to bed, some more foreplay, condom on, pound town. The only variance this time was that it took me a bit longer to move from being in the bed to making the move, whereas the first chick it was within minutes.

So this was my first encounter with fake tits and I must say they were much much different than expected. Honestly, had she not told me they were implants, I would have thought they were real. Implant surgery had come a long ways, aye? haha.

We probably had sex for 20 minutes. All missionary and then with her legs up, same storyline as lady #1.This girl was just a little bit more relaxed and vocal. I probably came about 10 minutes in, then kept going for 10 more. I don’t think she realized I came. Chick was pretty sexy in bed and if I have her back I have a feeling would have some pretty good, open sexual encounters.

During foreplay, she did have her hands on my dick a good amount. Mainly through my shorts, so I doubt she noticed anything strange. But she also for a quick sec rubbed my balls and didn’t mention anything. If she would have kept them there any longer I probably would have just said I just had a vasectomy so was sensitive and didn’t want that.

There is still this “different” feeling when thrusting in the vagina, this is probably more individual to me, but my tips not being much into my glans… I can tell that part of my dick is realllllyyy hard and then my glans is not quite as hard, just makes for a different feel. I am still timid due to all this, so I’ve been afraid to go too hard. A few times I did slip out and then slip right back in, so that was nice to know that I still could slip right back in without even meaning to. I do slightly notice the 1.5cm loss of length, but I may gain that back someday. If I don’t, not the end of the world.

We ate pizza and chatted in the kitchen afterwards. She mentioned that I was just the second guy she has had sex with since her divorce 1.5 years ago. This chick could have sex almost anytime she wants, most girls can, in fact she was showing me this dude who sliding her DMs as we were eating pizza. I actually know the guy and he is married! She said you wouldn’t believe how many random dudes slide in her DMs and then get pissed when she tells them she doesn’t want to hear from them. Around midnight, she took off and I went to bed. She texted me when she got home that she wants to stay the night next time. Which makes me realize somethings… so far I’ve had sex with 2 hot chicks, but I knew prior that I didn’t want any type of actual relationship with these 2. So the emotional connection was not there. And because of PFS, my sex drive is pretty low. These sexual encounters have been more rote than anything. Its just conquering land, planting a flag, and looking for more land to conquer. I am not overly interested in doing that long term. I’ll fuck a number of more girls, including these 2, but I’d much rather have sex with someone that there is at least “something there” emotionally on my end along with the comfort of exploring more. I’ve also realized that “conquering this land” isn’t going to bring me “happiness” and “fulfill” my life. My children, career, health, family, friends, trips do that. But being able to have sex with anyone at any given point sure does take a dark cloud away from your head. It opens up some head space to be able to focus on other aspects of life.

I am assuming these chicks are happy with our encounters so far. Both want to come back. I mentioned how these encounters are rote. I guess part of that is due to the first time hooking up with them. If I were to get implanted, and then have sex with a wife I had been with for years, I’d imagine I’d immediately be more comfortable to test out more positions, etc. Tomorrow night girl #1 is coming back over. I may not even fuck her, because she appears to be too attached after 1 visit, and I may need to have a talk with her about what we are and what we are not and what we won’t be.

This is a great thread . Good for you for getting on with it.

I get what you mean about the dark cloud no longer being there. When I have sex successfully, I remember that sex isn’t everything and I can focus on other stuff. When I fail, I think it’s all that matters and I go down a PFS rabbit hole for days/weeks.

Can you share more about what the erection feels like? Does it feel the same / similar to how it felt before? Does it feel warm even though it’s not blood? If you give yourself an erection for a long enough time do you want to have sex more? Can you get natural erections at all anymore? Morning / nocturnal?

Thank you for sharing as much as you have. Good stuff.

Does it feel the same / similar to how it felt before?
The erection actually feels 95% the same. It does feel much more firm than normal when pumped above 95%. You don’t have that feeling of blood rushing/filling your penis though, so that is missing.

Does it feel warm even though it’s not blood?
My penis never feels cold (it did prior to implant when flaccid), but the glans sometimes does if it is not engorged. There actually still in some blood flow. The sponginoseum and glans still get good blood flow. Only the sides of the shaft do not.

If you give yourself an erection for a long enough time do you want to have sex more?
I was about to answer no, but to be honest last night I cycled for 50m at 100% and I like to do the last 15 minutes of cycling in the shower because warm water dulls the pain of cycling. I ended up jacking off after that 50m so maybe it does make you want sex more even without stimulation of a women there.

Can you get natural erections at all anymore? Morning / nocturnal?
Yes and no, mostly no. I’ve get twinges in my penis now, just from thoughts. For example, tonight I am hanging out with a girl and thinking about it this morning I was getting excited and noticed feelings in my penis. I didn’t have an erection, but I had feelings that are similar to it. Likely it is blood rushing to my sponginosium and glans. I wake up in the morning with the same feelings often, so I am getting a new version of morning wood, just dont have the full on erection like normal. All I would have to do is pump about 15x and Id be ready tho!

Seeing your boner made me cry for a moment, I am 1 year into post Saw Palmetto and I already forgot how hard my dick used to be and how enjoyable erection was before all this shit… Happy for you!!

how is it going now @moonman1?
any new experiences with the implant?

I have a revision set for November 16th.

Dr Hakky believes I was shortened by a few centimeters, which is causing the “hypermobility of the glans” / floppy glans.

This is his order of business…

1. If there is no scar tissue at the tips of my glans, he will just measure and put in a longer device. He thinks this is the most likely option, fairly easy peasy, lets hope this is the case.
2. If there is scar tissue in the tips, he will try to dilate/cut it out.
3. If that does not work, he will do double coproplasty, which will mean I will have extra incisions on each side of my penis. This is basically cutting out the scar tissue by going through the sides.
4. Alternatively, if 1,2,3 aren’t feasible, he will do a glanspexy. This is basically just shortening the skin just below my glans so that the glans rests more on the tips of the cylinder and is no longer floppy or unsupported. I would probably lose a cm if this is the case.

I am not overly bummed about having to do an actual operation again, but I am annoyed I have to set up and pay for flights and hotel for a week and pay a nurse to help me the first few days.

The operation itself should be covered 100% as I have already met my deductible. I am sure I will run into snags with insurance though as that is what they do.

Hakky wants to replace my Genesis pump with a OTP as well, as he said he has been seeing a lot of failures lately with the Genesis.