Our friend AnhedonicApe has passed away

General Discussion
#43

Some very good points

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#44

Please feel free to start other threads for broader discussion guys. Thanks.

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#45

Bro don’t give up, stay strong. Go the gym, swim, take a walk. Think of happier times. One day we will get better.

Does that really work when you’re looking into the abyss and been left disabled by PFS? No and it never will.

You have to take one day at a time. Sadly that means forgetting all about your future and your past, you simply exist in the present moment.

You cannot think about the life you could have had. You have to cut everything off and be ruthless otherwise the loss will consume you. You focus on one day’s activities, eat, sleep and avoid as much negativity as you can. You must also replace the human contact you lost. This is so important to survival. @LazarusRy is simply hands down the best guy I’ve seen on here at doing this.

You must force yourself to speak with people daily. Imagine it’s a replacement for an anti depressant. If you don’t the depression and sadness will slowly consume you and before you realise it could be too late. Prisoners go insane in solitary confinement and they don’t have PFS. Don’t fight human nature we are programmed to be around other people. The internet is destroying our nature and pushing us indoors to live alone. We must go back to basics. Talk, touch, see.

I used to come here everyday when I crashed and read every post like my happiness depended on it. I never once went away feeling better about myself but I did appreciate the support. I was simply too depressed to feel better.

I joined a mental health group and went everyday. I sat with other human beings and about 2 weeks later something changed within me and I started seeing glimpses of my old self and found a way to forget the horror if only temporarily.

If it wasn’t for that group I wouldn’t be here now. I’d be another statistic.

My physical symptoms are ramping up lately and suicide seems my best option if I stop sleeping altogether or my heart goes on me. But it won’t be because my mind broke it will be because my body finally gave in and I wanted to leave this world with some dignity.

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#46

You are welcome to provide suggestions and we can work them into a post. Obviously, many people here are suicidal. I have witnessed several people I “knew” from this forum commit suicide. And who knows what happened to the many users that suddenly disappear. Some may recover, some may make peace with their condition, but surely some of them commit suicide. Hence, it make sense to have resources with regard to support hotline, therapists (just stay away from their meds) etc. readily available.

#47

Each day passes and by each day that goes away I think that perhaps a hunger strike next to merck would really shed light.

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#48

I wonder if there is data on Propecia and Accutane suicide rates. In other words, rate of suicide among former users of these drugs vs suicide rate of general population of same socioeconomic status.

#49

I have volunteered. We need to step up a campaign and get this recognized and it is going to take something drastic to do it. Kevin Malley was one of the very few to have multiple news media reporting on Finasteride because he went on a hunger strike. We need to do something instead of sitting there and letting them continue to get away with this. Extreme circumstances call for extreme measures.

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#50

I can tell you 2020 will be my last year. It will be between the 2-3 years mark for me. Similar to Ape I guess.

I can tell you the symptom that bothered AnhedonicApe, and me, the most was having no emotions. It’s also my worst symptom as well. Just 24/7 torture and inability to connect to humanity on any level. Family member dies? Nothing. Win $100 million? Nothing. Talking to people does nothing because I am already dead inside. No point listening to people with emotions talk . Nothing getting in, nothing going out. Reminds you how far removed from the rest of humanity you are. Just an empty, soulless vessel waiting to die. People without this symptom have no idea. It kills EVERYTHING. No movies, no music, no bonding with other humans, for many like myself even drugs don’t give any relief or feeling at all. Just on 0 all the time. Bed-bound and lobotomized.

Throw in dick shrinkage, genital and body numbness, no libido, loss of visual imagination, severe insomnia, dry skin, dry eyes, thinning hair, memory issues, etc. and enough is enough.
There is really nothing that can be done to help some cases. Nothing will make me accept this.

Ape wasn’t going to live with this and had been plotting suicide since I first talked to him about a year ago. This went how I thought it would sadly. He said he might go another month or two but he couldn’t even do that. Other than an intellectual concern for my family, especially mom, I’m not sure what’s holding up my suicide?

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#51

Terribly sorry you’re going through hell! Mind my silliness, but did you run full hormonal profile? Did you have all blood markers tested? Gut function evaluated? Ruled out any vitamins and minerals deficiencies and/or imbalances? Tested for various infections? Checked for Autoimmune diseases?

There’re numerous variables that could go wrong and everything’s connected.

I believe one must leave no stone unturned. Please let me know if I can be of any help.

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#52

Why are people here so absurdly selfish? Many complain about their personal issues, relieved that suicide will ‘end it all’ without any consideration for the endless effect suicide will have on their family and friends as well as this community on here. Suicide is not a logically valid option, especially considering that most guys on here are young. You’d have to be absolutely nuts to kill yourself when you have years ahead which hold hope and promise.

Life is precious. Countless people with terminal diagnoses would give literally anything to live another week. Do not forget, you only have one chance at this life. Make the most of it. If you feel unable to help yourself help others for heaven’s sake! Even the most emotionless person can be useful and make a difference to the world. You have arms, you have a brain (yes, perhaps not functioning at full capacity - but even those severely addled seem to have no trouble writing beautiful prose on this forum).

We should talk about what we can do, not just on here, but in our personal lives. Who can we help? What can we give back? As long as you can breath, you can make a difference.

Recently, every day when I lie down in my comfortable bed I say a quiet thank you for the opportunity to be alive and the ability to revel in the promise of tomorrow, a fleeting privilege so few are granted. That is a fact.

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#53

Wow, you’re such a great person unlike all the selfish people here.

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#54

I can relate to a lot of the hell you speak of. I’m really hoping that some developments in 2020 will give you more hope. Putting up with anhedonia will be easier if there is some kind of end to this other than suicide. I’m also hoping you see changes in the third year like some people. Definitely hang on. Have you thought about doing the YouTube project? I’m thinking of it myself. I think those of us who are emotionally effected have the most heartbreaking stories that could be more powerful. It’s actually hard to get it together with anhedonia but I need to do more than what I’m doing now.

#55

Not at all. Bitterness won’t get you far.

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#56

Hey, this is a thread to remember and pay respects to @AnhedonicApe. I feel like you’re kinda insulting him calling him selfish and self pitying for what he did. It’s great you have found ways to cope but there are scales of anhedonia just like there are scales of every symptom. You don’t know his suffering. A lot of us would happily swap our life for someone with cancer just so we could feel those days with emotions.

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#57

Selfish? David (Ape) was deeply concerned about his mother. I am also deeply concerned with mine. Unfortunately we aren’t minor cases.
You don’t know jack-shit about the worst of this condition or being basically lobotomized. It doesn’t compare to ANY other condition.
Please don’t post such things in my friends suicide thread or any suicide thread after this.
Don’t EVER imply selfishness of ANYONE that commits suicide. Especially those with this humanity-killing condition.

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#58

For those who go through with suicide, their pain is so overwhelming and long-lasting that it clouds their ability to think beyond themselves and their main objective is to seek relief. I know you are trying to be helpful, but it is not really possible for you to accurately judge their situations unless you have been there. Be grateful you are able to be grateful. LOL.

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#59

Guys, let’s chill. This thread is to remember a fellow sufferer who’s passed.

Everyone is affected differently. I’m sure orthogs is struggling in his own way, just as others struggle in theirs.

This community needs to accept that, and unite. Otherwise we’re all lost.

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#60

My friend, you have no idea what I’ve been afflicted with. Just because I’m not bordering on suicide or preaching it’s virtues does not mean I’m any less affected by this blight than yourself.

Idealising suicidal intent is an entirely selfish pursuit, that’s a closed case. It’s destructive. Suicide in itself is also a selfish pursuit, as painful as that may sound. Now I have no doubt that those who undertake it must be suffering excruciatingly and I certainly don’t want to minimise that fact. I have deep sympathy for them - I don’t mean to downplay that.

I sometimes feel genuine regret that perhaps I could’ve done more to help those who were teetering on the edge. I’m sure you feel the same way. We should sympathise with those who take their lives, but in my opinion, casting them as acting heroically is a mistake.

Suicide should never be celebrated by this community. It is our responsibility to give hope to fellow sufferers.

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#61

Please just have a little sense of respect and refrain from virtue signaling here. I think we got your point that people should also think of their families.

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#62

Yes, though it’s also much beyond merely stating that people should think of their families. You’re missing my main point. It’s the fact that we shouldn’t celebrate suicide. Recently there has been an abundance of suicidal sentiment. People writing, ‘we should just kill ourselves to end our suffering.’ Or, ‘I’m gonna kill myself if xyz doesn’t cure me’. It is this unconsidered speech which I believe is harmful. As a community we have to be mindful of the way we represent ourselves, what we seem to approve of and disapprove of.

And yes, if you want to speak about virtue signalling, there are the usual posts of ‘you don’t know what (insert person’s name) is going through. How dare you judge them!’ That, in my mind is the epitome of virtue signalling. If anything I’m stating a position which has not been aired here to my knowledge. Perhaps an unpopular position, but something which should be said.

We should absolutely critique people’s behaviours. It’s our responsibility both individually and as a community. If we don’t endorse a particular path, we should speak openly about it. We should not be celebrating death and hopelessness. What we should ideally be doing is advocating that people keep fighting, hoping, doing, and ultimately living.

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