Nah. Does that even do anything?
Another rather brutal day. Anhedonia, brain fog, melancholy/suicidal thoughts.
For some reason the mental symptoms seem to lift a bit in the evenings. Not every evening, but every couple of days Iāll get some brief respite.
It feels like my entire male charisma and drive has been shut off.
Also, facial changes have set in, somewhat.
Moral of the story: No matter how much you improve, do not assume you are ānormal.ā Your body still has damage from 5AR inhibition. Do not touch any anti-androgenic substances no matter how much people around you encourage it.
It may speed up your recovery from this crash. It seems that many people seem to fast from water or carnivores after a crash.
I explained to my therapist that I am going through this situation again. I told him that last time I had to accept the situation and utilized family support to get out of it and slowly built myself back up until I felt recovered enough to go back to school. I told him thereās really no medication I can take, no real medical treatment, and that I just have to give it time. He suggested that we have to at least try something. I told him Benzos are one of the only classes of medications that can be safe with this condition, but Iām extremely apprehensive to start for a number of reasons: 1. It was two doses of Finasteride and now one dose of Prozac that brought me here 2. Benzos are extremely addictive and I donāt want to go through withdrawals on top of all that Iām dealing with. Thoughts?
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Donāt do it. If you look up benzo withdrawals, youāll recognize all the hallmark pfs symptoms. Thatās if you get dependent, i think, but it could also be the case that some people are more sensitive to adverse reactions than others. If such a small amount of meds did this to you, why roll the dice again with a very dangerous class of drugs? Time will move forward one way or another, which is what you need the most my friend. That, and, like you wrote, support from loved ones.
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Itās a slippery slope and I would only accept them if you are sure you wonāt rely on them. Iām talking only for situations that you could not handle otherwise. Iām also fairly certain benzo withdrawal for someone with PFS would not end pretty. I withdrew from Gabapentin before which I heard has a very similar wd to benzos. While PFS has been 20X worse you couldnāt pay me to do either again.
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Does anyone honestly believe I can come out of this Prozac crash? I have some hope because my body and mind recovered last time to a decent state but this is unimaginable torture everyday. Am I a lost cause? I feel like Iām an 80 year old with dementia. This is insane.
Btw, Iām so sorry that you recovered and now have to go through this again. Prayers for you!!
@silenceispink
What do you mean you had a significant recovery and then crashed? So you did end up recovering from the topical finasteride situation? And then crashed due to Prozac?
If you temporarily recovered from finasteride, how long did that take? Also which symptoms specifically improved? Can you describe it? I looked through your profile and I didnāt see posts describing your recovery from finasteride?
It took about 6-7 months, very gradual recovery that I didnāt even really notice as it was happening. The only things that remained during that recovery were the heart palpitations and genital changes.
In an extremely desperate situation. I need advice urgently.
As you all know, I crashed extremely hard from one pill of Prozac. I am chronically tired, my sleep quality is abhorrent, head tension, severe anxiety, severe brain fog, and severe, severe anhedonia.
This past summer, I recovered enough to go back to school. Graduated college, made lots of new friends, started a band. Despite everything that I had gone through, I was living a decent life. Sadly, I was convinced to start an SSRI by a counselor. Everything has changed. I cannot work right now. I can honestly barely carry out my day-to-day tasks. This crash is so much worse than the first. My life has completely changed overnight. I am terrified that I have crashed myself to a point of no return. I am very, very worried that I am now a severe case.
During my last crash, my father was still alive. He had a great job and was able to be the sole source of income for my family. As such, I was able to continue school online with his financial and moral support. I donāt think he fully believed me, but he still helped me get through it. Unfortunately, he passed away in September. My mother is now a single Mom, supporting four children, and handling the death of my father. She was a stay-at-home Mom for most of my life, so she is under a lot of stress. My plan was to spend this post-graduation period working a retail job and focusing on music, as I planned to go to graduate school in the Fall. At the current stage, this is no longer possible.
I am trying to tough it out to see through my music commitments, but I donāt know if I can. It is very, very hard for me to let go of my life down here. Quite frankly, it is somewhat embarrassing. I really loved it, and I got to follow a dream I wanted to pursue since I was 12 years old: Writing and performing my own music. Our band is one of the āhottestā local bands. I also had a great relationship going which ended due to my current situation. The trauma of all this on its own is a lot to handle.
My mother, right now, is not hearing or understanding me. I try to desperately tell her that I am in the pit of absolute hell. Every day is currently a living nightmare. I am effectively disabled in this state, although I am trying my absolute hardest to hang on. My mother keeps telling me that I need to just carry on, but I cannot reiterate how severe my symptoms are right now. I am in the depths of hell. I desperately pleaded to her to try to understand my situation, but I donāt think a normal person can understand this unless they have been through it. She told me that I am almost 23 and that it is my responsibility to handle myself, which, under normal circumstances is completely fair.
She says I am welcome to come home, of course, but she is frustrated with me. She thinks I am just going through another depressive episode, I think. She even mentioned to me that she thinks I might be bipolar. I swear to all of you, I do have mental health issues, but I am not going through an episode right now.
I am in a horrible state. I know I can go home and take a break from things, but I am very worried I am in it for the long haul. If I do go home, I NEED those around me to understand how severe this is right now. I have begged and pleaded my family to try and understand, but they just canāt comprehend it. Guys, I tried to go to a job interview today for a fast food place, and I could barely make it through the interview. My brain fog is so severe that I am struggling to communicate with people.
I am in a situation where I likely will have to leave my current life behind, and abandon it. Everyone around me thinks that I think that I have a disorder. This is so, so heartbreaking for me because I got to recover and experience life as I wanted to. August-December were some of the best months of my life, despite the trauma I had been through earlier in the year.
I guess the answer is to go home despite what others may think, but I am worried about a situation where this is going to get worse, and my mother will think it is just a mental health issue, and that Iām being a bum. In fact, she got so frustrated with me that she suggested I take the Xanax that the counselor offered. No matter what I do, she is not understanding me.
I am in a state where I understand she is a single mother and things are stressful, and that she has a lot to manage. I am willing to contribute to the family however I can, financially, even if that means working from home. But guys, I have lost my whole life overnight. I am so anhedonic that even exercise gives me no endorphins. I have permanent bags under my eyes. I canāt even sweat anymore.
I am typing all this because I am extremely desperate. If anyone can give me guidance I would be so appreciative. I have tried having fellow patients talk to my mother but she is not going into it with an open mind at all.
I am extremely scared in regard to the situation Iām in. I can accept that this has happened. What I canāt accept is that there is no one in my life who is willing to support or understand the severity of this. I want to live through this. I truly do.
I am in such a bad state that even if I do decide to go home, I sometimes worry if Iāll be able to make the 6 hour drive (I know I will, Iāll brute force it, but still).
I should add that I even tried to show her the PFS Network materials in regard to symptomatology. She says I keep telling her the same story over and over. I told her that if this continues in this trajectory I honestly donāt know if I will make it to next March.
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You should call me. I sent you a personal message with my phone number.
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Iām telling you dude. Set some time aside and call me. I know Iām a random stranger but I want to listen to what youāre going through. Even if youāre in a crazy state right now. I will listen.
I can offer some support through text/call.
Always good to have support on your phone.
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I can give you my number, Iām almost 40 days off, and am still suffering brother
I really suggest that you do go home. I kind of regret that I didnāt, thinking that Iāll be able to handle this. But atleast having someone to make you food and just be there a the worst of it, even if they dont understand the condition is very important. Its best if you put your music on hold and just focus on being as stress free as possible. Eventually, if things do ease up, you can slowly begin your old life again.
Also I very confident that things will ease up within 2-3 months for you. You are still in the crash state, you have to just hold on for some time.
Furthermore, your mom thinking this is just a depressive episode can go so far. Because eventually with time, if you donāt recover, she will believe you. Thats what happened with alot of victims.
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Iām back home at least for the next week since itās spring break. Will decide if I want to drop everything and stay home beyond that.
What worries me right now is that the brain fog is so bad I can barely hold a conversation during some parts of the day. I feel trapped in my own body