Its gotten really bad for me :(

#1

i can barely even write this so heres some bullet points about my current state

intense derealization. i cant even describe. im like an alien to this earth. the way my brain processes the world around me is so out of whack i can barely handle it

no emotions except anger and fear

no libido

weak orgasms

couldnt care less about my dick

i no longer produce body odor

i dont sweat

weak body

worst of all is my inability to connect on any level with anyone i know. i cant think. no inner monolouge. nothing to say. except for how horrible i feel. my life is just a void. im losing my faculties and im only 34. i feel like i have brain damage

tried so many many things but my body cant tolerate anything i put in it without it flaring up my hppd like symptoms

i avoid chicks now. i dont know what to say to them. im just so damaged

near the end of the rope here god fucking please help me

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#2

Only solution: accept it, stop obsessing over it and start working again. Donate to the foundation as well. There is no known cure.

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#3

Maybe you should stop taking drugs or supplements and try to heal naturally. If you can get some sleep even if it’s only an hour that will see you through. 1 hour meditation at the start of your day should help with depression/anxiety. Give yourself a few months to recover.

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#4

Hi @hippydoof,

Firstly, I’m sorry to hear you are struggling and know of the complete disconnection you are talking about.

Have you participated in our survey? If not, please see the topic below. This is a proactive way you can help make a difference.

#5

Whats your testosterone level?

#6

Hang in there bud

#7

Sounds like me the day I crashed. Derealization was so bad I literally couldn’t recognize my own mother’s voice on the phone. Fun stuff

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#8

You are young and have plenty of time to heal. I would stop 100% taking ANY supplements no matter what it is for at least a year. No Alcohol or Drugs either. Next you have to narrow down what you eat to a few safe things. Look up foods that are 5AR inhibitors and avoid them like the plague, for me this means no wheat, no sugar, chocolate, rice or junk foods and some vegetables especially night shade varieties . All of these make me feel like shit the next day with anxiety and brain fog. I feel ok on clean fluoride free water, hormone/anti-biotic free beef, fish, organic broccoli, salad, apples and steel cut oatmeal with a little bit of raw unpasturized honey. Don’t ever eat any prepared foods either they are full of shit like MSG that fuck me up physically and mentally. When you feel anxious and depressed, just breathe deeply and think about what you consumed in the last 24 hours. Write it down in a journal if you have to, i will bet you will see patterns. Utilize those dark times to become aware and tune into what your body is sensitive to. PFS sufferers seem to be alot more sensitive than others so anything you consume is suspect. This is what I expect to do for at least the next year to try and maintain a stable condition (mentally at least) and waiting for more answers from research that is taking place…

#9

Hi, hold on please!

I know it is scary, i have a lot of derealisation and depersonalisation too, freaks me out sometimes. I feel really blunted and shallow. My brain is quiet most of the time, when i want to think i have to force it. I know it is really hard to live with but you have to keep going! Sports and doing things helps me to stop obsessing about it, and when i’m scared or feeling down i’m trying to think about the moments where i didn’t felt like shit and wasn’t even thinking about it.

Think about the nietzsche things with the monster and void. You have PFS but you aren’t PFS in person, you’re more than that and you CAN handle it. Don’t let this stupid condition win from you.

Thinking that ‘there is always hope as long as there are things that wrong’ also helps me. Try to focus on things in life that are easy to deal with, infuence and to improve, like dieet, sports, spending more time with xyz,… also helps me. There is always something you can improve in your life.

I got a puppy this week, it also helps. I often feel bad about myself because i feel less connection with other people and have pretty bad emotional blunting, it makes me scared to talk with other people sometimes and makes me feel alienated. But my puppy sees me as a mom lol and that gives me a feeling that i still am a human that i still can care about other beings because the dog still can feel that in me.

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#10

Has anyone in contact with hippydoof outside of this forum heard from him?