Hey, it seems like you’re the most active user in the past few days because no doubt you’re in hell right now. You’ve already rushed into things taking ketamine, TRT, and an AI. I can only hope you have recovered from the latter. What you should realize and has oft been repeated is that we’ve all been there and are worse for it. Many people whom you’re commiserating with, including some of the mods, have been in your shoes and out of desperation, to no fault of their own obviously, have worsened themselves from taking steps to alleviate their symptoms via taking supplements, drugs, and other things. I am also one of these people. The moral support is important, but the forum can be a double edged sword as I’ve demonstrated.
For the most part, we don’t know why some things worsen some users here while it improves things for others. But three things are certain: 1) We have a lower capacity to handle stress due to depleted neurosteroid levels, and 2) obsessively reading horror story after story and ruminating about the worst case scenarios (people who get better eventually stop posting here) will only worsen your stress and impede your recovery, and 3) time, which sadly for now only goes in one direction but imo works in favor for many people here.
I’d be a hypocrite to say that you shouldn’t experiment at all because some exciting things are headed our way starting in 2020. These things may or may not be safer. But before you do that, why not give number 3 a shot since it’s only been a month since you took fin if I recall correctly. As said before, for many people, things start to come back online at the 6+ month mark. I know I myself would probably not be talking to you today if I never took anything else but the fin.
Try to lay low for a bit. Find strategies to lower and manage your stress. Refocus your mind from time to time. Give it much needed breaks every day by distracting yourself with things that still give you joy or pleasure. Whatever you do, do not beat yourself up for something that isn’t your fault. Developing rare side effects from a popular drug is not your fault. Try to spend time with friends and family if possible. Social isolation lowers allo. I see that you’ve had some improvements lately. Remain optimistic. You’re still young and you still can have a bright future ahead.