@Crembo this is one fucked up disease mate, every single day feels like an eternity in hell where we lose almost everything along the way. However you have a lot to hang on to :-
Firstly you could well recover, lots of guys do
Over these last few years I’ve been in contact with quite a few who contemplated the end, catastrophized daily, and thought about nothing but the devestation of PFS. Everyone of them is still here and most are now in a better position.
Secondly, you need to know and believe that you will get better always hang on to those thoughts, YOU WILL GET BETTER, do what you can to banish the demons, distract, go for walks, take in the scenery, do different things you have to give your mind something else. Routine allows for rumination which is Pfs fuel. I have given up many times toi!!!
Thirdly, coming out the otherside, you will feel so lucky to be in this world, you wil never take the basics for granted again, laughter, love, happiness, wellbeing, etc. You wil savour every moment. Every day will feel so special after experiencing this.
For this , it’s never worth throwing the towel in., God is with all of us, he has plans and it’s not to die from Pfs its really not.
Perform acts of kindness, holding a door open, showing those less fortunate a bit of attention, talking to a vulnerable person, smiling at people who feel invisible. Etc. Is free and It’s amazing how these actions can make a difference to another person’s life as well as yours.
We will be better human beings because of this. . Suffering brings strength.
Stay strong man and hang in to the hope of better days.