Henchman's Story

Member Stories
#162

As retarded as it sounds, my scent returned in my right armpit first as well lol now it’s returned in both and I smell terrible.

You are a mild case from what you have told me when you PMd me. Give it time. If you don’t have any of the mental sides consider yourself lucky. I bet 2 years from now you won’t give a shit anymore and will be fine. My biceps are hard again.

You are too early to be freaking out about your muscles being softer and some muscle aches. You are a very mild case as of right now.

It sometimes gets worse before it gets better. I got much much worse from the initial crash to about month 4-5. If 6 months from now you aren’t getting worse, and you see improvements, move on with your life.

This site made me so depressed when I would read posts. I would read 100s of posts looking for a cure and a protocol.

It’s all bullshit. Time is what will likely heal you if your body is able to correct itself from the poison you fed it, and avoiding any other 5ari, or substance that alters hormones for the rest of your life is necessary.

Il continue to post to update on my condition to give anyone hope who needs it, as well as to follow up with people like Henchman to see what there progress is for my own motivation and to offer support, but I’m done looking for a cure and I’m done believing all these nut jobs saying they got cured from some crazy regimen of supplements, fecal transplants, etc.

Time is what I think heals.

Not a protocol

Not another pill

Not a supplement.

:alarm_clock::stopwatch::timer_clock::watch::hourglass_flowing_sand::hourglass::mantelpiece_clock:

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#163

I agree with most of this post, but time isn’t the healer for everyone here. There is no magic cure. That being said, you can get better. It’s not a death/life sentence for everyone and you need to push forward with that hope. I read pretty much every post on this forum when I first got sick and had pretty much summed my recovery odds as nonexistent, although I clung to hope based on a few people’s posts. Chi and Captain.

I almost went down the trap of CDNuts protocol, but messaged one of his followers based on a Reddit post I saw “Coppersocks”. They had mentioned on some forum that someone they knew committed suicide from PFS and if anyone messaged them, they would talk to them about it as they would never want anyone to befall the same fate. I messaged them and they immediately responded and said they’d be glad to talk to me and if I had seen the website for CDNuts protocol. I mentioned that I had and I never heard another word from them again. I feel sure now that was just an alt account, and once he knew I had heard of the protocol there was no point in a further sales pitch. You can make your own conclusion about this story, but I tell it to worn you all about looking for a magic cure.

I say that all but I’m convinced that the microdose of Creatine accelerated my recovery. I don’t want people to think I’m a hypocrite. I think I would have gotten better given additional time, and the Creatine was SUPER risky and given the choice I would NOT have risked it. I just think I got extraordinarily, 1 in a million lucky.

We shouldn’t minimize anyone’s suffering though, if you’re here, you’re having problems due to finasteride and that’s some shit. Do realize though, that are levels to PFS and it can always be worse with this horse shit which is I wouldn’t recommend anyone try anything risky with this condition. Most important thing in my opinion I will maintain is don’t do anything to make yourself worse. Like Itookfinanddutast said, given it time first. It’ll likely gets worse before it gets better.

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#164

You are right, I don’t mean to downplay anyones struggles here. It’s easy to think someone else isn’t struggling just because there problems don’t seem as serious as yours and I apologize if I came across in that way Henrique.

Henchman, how much creatine did you take, how long did you take it, and do you know what kind you took?

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#166

Yes, it’s all spelled out here. I thought I had ruined my life again. I got so much worse so quickly, but this started the crash and rebound cycle that led to where I am today.

Do not try it. I highly, highly doubt it can be replicated and you are so much more likely to make
Yourself worse. There are so many reports on this site of Creatine being a failed experiment. Just read westsides’s story, it’s his biggest regret. It was almost mine too. If I would’ve take a larger dose I have no doubt I would’ve been in the same boat as him.

#167

Don’t worry about it; I’m sure that the psychological symptoms are the worst of this syndrome; right after the crash I had a strong depression with suicidal thoughts, but thank God it passed; what I can currently perceive in relation to mental symptoms; I think my memory is worse, and that for reading I had some cognitive problems with understanding what I’m reading, but it’s not so strong; another thing that I feel and it’s hard to explain is that I feel a strange sensation in my head/scalp, it’s not pain, but a kind of shiver/contraction, an excitement, a nervous impulse, I don’t know how to explain it and I would like to know if someone feels it. My physical symptoms that fluctuate: I wake up with low energy, sore/tired leg muscles, my gums and throat sometimes go numb and my heart is sore when I exert myself, the day before yesterday I started walking again; I felt pretty tired afterwards and a few minutes later I was back to normal; I will try to walk monday, wednesday and friday to see how i feel.

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#168

I had strange feelings in my brain from time to time. It was worst after the Creatine. After I took the Creatine I can only describe it as it felt like my brain was on fire. It slowly subsided into the feeling that you are describing, like a twitch? I had that periodically before the Creatine as well. Now it is gone.

It’s hard to imagine anything worse than the mental symptoms. The Akathisia and insomnia were pretty fucking terrible also though.

#169

As I said, it’s not pain, it’s a strange feeling in the head like; excitement/twitching/nerve impulse/shivering of the scalp.

#170

End of November update. I feel like as soon as I say I’m doing well I crash and if I say I’m not doing well then I improve. I know my whole thread is all over the place up and down. My percentages are off I’m sure too as every time I improve, I realize I’m still not quite 100%. I notice small things missing that I didn’t notice before, so I feel like I’m perpetually at like 95% as I keep improving if that makes sense. Percentages are bullshit anyways. What matters is I feel great.

All that being said, I felt 100% today. Slept 8 hours uninterrupted last night. It was amazing. The speed of my recovery since the end of May has just been astounding. I have no doubt I will dip a bit in the weeks/months to come, but I also now have no doubt at this point I am on the road to full recovery and likely within the next 6 months. I think I’m ready to quit posting regularly. I get notifications in my email if you send me a message though, or if you post here and will come back to talk to anyone who needs it.

Best of luck everyone. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and may the coming year bring further recovery for all of you.

6 Likes
#171

I’m the same way bro lmao you aren’t alone. You don’t seem crazy or like your recovery is fake.

I had a crash a few days ago and felt like absolute shit for 3 days. I’m bouncing back now and feeling pretty damn good. Its always up and down

Please do not stop posting I would like to stay in touch and follow your recovery, and I’m sure a lot of others would as well.

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#172

You are my HOPE. Thanks to all that contribute to the recovery of all of us. Please keep writing your updates.

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#173

I also had a full recovery (90%) for three months last summer. After that I crashed very bad and I have fatigue since one year ago.

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#174

I also had a false recovery for three months followed by a huge crash and a very slow recovery.

#175

Hi Alm,

As you know I had some similar short lived recoveries on my way back, so hopefully you are on a similar path. I never really had fatigue though, I kinda had the opposite with the severe Akathisia.

This may be a good opportunity to let everyone know that these past two weeks my sleep has suddenly resolved itself. I regularly sleep 8 hours or more straight with minor interruption. Still not 100% as deep as I used to as I’m now a light sleeper whereas before I could sleep through a tornado, but I’m like 99% back. My libido has jumped higher along with and I would say is basically back as well. It may take a few months to be stable and level out, but with the sleep fixed I’m calling it. I’m recovered, stop the timer at 18 months.

4 Likes
#176

Recovered? 100%? That’s great! I’ve never had insomnia or anxiety though. I think I’m on my way to a good recovery, but it’s a long way in my case. 18 months is a very short time!

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#177

Hey Hench,

What sort of physical symptoms did you experience over your journey? Any skin, joint or bone issues?

#178

Dry skin to the point of severely cracked toes and heels, also hands and knuckles. This is resolved now. Early on I had some problems with painful joints, but this resolved fairly quickly. Bone issues, I don’t immediately recall anything like that.

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#179

Merry Christmas everyone. I’m just relaxing, took the week off work and had some down time. Figured a good time for a quick end of month update.

Tried a small amount of soy and have been eating some chocolate now. If I’m being honest I thought each time it made me feel a little strange, some familiar feelings of pre-anxiety returning, but it could be completely psychosomatic. For all practical purposes I had no ill effects. I’ve continued to to sparingly also intake some caffeine, and no ill effects. However, I am extremely sensitive to caffeine still. About 1/4 espresso is all I need to make me jittery. It also affects my personality strangely. I don’t know if any of you have ever taken ADHD medication, but if you take too much it gives you a certain feeling. For me it would make me struggle socially, I would just be much more flat and social interactions would just take more exertion. That’s the feeling I get from even 1/4 espresso. For now I really just don’t use caffeine anymore, not because I can’t, but I just no longer enjoy how it makes me feel. I just drink decaf coffee now.

So I officially no longer have any limitations of diet or other due to PFS. I eat and exercise regularly, I don’t take any supplements or anything, no protocols, no anything. I still don’t drink alcohol, but that’s mostly normal to me, I would normally only drink once or twice a year at a wedding or something, I’ll test that eventually when I have a chance, but other than that I’m back to living 100% normal.

My sleep took a few steps back after pretty much resolving itself earlier in the month. It’s still better than last month, but no longer really great. I have confidence it’ll go back to normal here given a bit more time as I’m still seeing noticeable ups and downs with overall improvements.

I still consider myself recovered now, just waiting until I can really call myself 100% again. Super close, just can’t say it quite yet.

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#180

I’m no longer recovered, and as I sit here I am not doing well. I’m unsure if this is temporary, long-term, or permanent at this point but I’m back to
The forum for now to vent and document if nothing else. Just looking for some support I suppose.

New Year’s Day I crashed like I have periodically since the Creatine. It was jarring as it had been quite a while, but I was familiar with the routine but not overly concerned. Had primarily return of fairly significant anxiety (very minor sleep
Issues this time) and it passed as previously in 2 days and I started moving to even higher recovery like before. This did not really concern me as it follows a pattern I’m familiar with. This is just to preface.

However, I have had a fear of long COVID ever since this affliction hit me. The mental symptoms of long COVID sounded so similar to what PFS gave me, that I just knew there was likely a common denominator and I was better that PFS would make me more susceptible to long COVID mental symptoms. I was fortunate enough to not catch COVID though. I have been VERY careful up until now still. It has been easy as my wife is germaphobic so the whole family is strict about it. I finally decided to get a COVID booster as it had been a long time since my last and ever since I’ve gotten that booster I have felt worse and worse each day.

The day after the shot I was bed-ridden. Just felt like I had the flu and severe headache. I finally gave in it was so bad I took a single Tylenol which made me feel much better. However since that day, my mental symptoms are returning and today they have been quite bad the whole day. I have had headaches, my brain has a light burning sensation which I’ve had previously and now severe anxiety, anhedonia, and sleeping disruptions. I can no longer take naps and I’m no longer sleeping straight through the night. I keep waking up, but mercifully I have been able to go back to sleep so far, each time.

I hope against all hope this is a temporary thing and it’s just another crash that will go away and lead to higher recovery, but right now I am frightened. As bad as I am currently, I am not to the point again yet where I desire self-harm. I am just to the point where I no longer enjoy life, I’m back in the grey flat area which many of you are unfortunately familiar with. I hope this has more to do with my sudden crash earlier in the month than the vaccine, but I just don’t know at this point. I don’t know if the vaccine caused it, but right now it seems that way. I simply can’t believe it. I can’t believe I could recover from that horseshit PFS only to get pulled in by another pharmaceutical. Unbelievable. I don’t want to scare people away from the vaccine. I 100% support vaccinations, but I have to report what is happening to me.

Of course I’m going back to what worked before. Took a run today for the first time in a long while to manage my anxiety. I’m going to tighten up my diet again and focus on sport and time with my family. Wish me luck all, here we go for round 3 of recovery.

2 Likes
#181

Self-reporting form

Name of the therapy/substance: COVID Booster (Moderna)
Dosage: one shot
How often you took it: once
Status
Still using No
Stopped with persistent change to symptoms: unsure yet
Duration of use: one single time
Response when you started:
Greatly improved [ ]
Slightly improved [ ]
Stayed the same [ ]
Slightly worsened [X ]
Greatly worsened [ ]
Current response (if you’re still using) OR Response in the time before you stopped the treatment
Greatly improved [ ]
Slightly improved [ ]
Stayed the same [ ]
Slightly worsened [X ]
Greatly worsened [ ]
Lasting changes to initial symptoms after cessation (if you have stopped for more than 3 weeks)
Greatly improved [ ]
Slightly improved [ ]
Stayed the same [ ]. ***** unsure yet *****
Slightly worsened [ ]
Greatly worsened [ ]

1 Like
#182

I wish best of luck to you, mate. As you’ve written, unfortunately I’m familiar with that grey flat area. And I also experienced some weird fluctuations in my condition. And quite often I couldn’t even attribute the changes to any particular factor. But I know for sure that anxiety does make things worse, so it’s a good thing you decided to manage your anxiety. Once again, best of luck.

1 Like