Seem to be moving back to normal again, took about 2 weeks in total. Worst day was by far when I previously posted. Will wait one more week and post a new self-reporting form assuming I’m still good.
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Self-reporting form
Name of the therapy/substance: COVID Booster (Moderna)
Dosage: one shot
How often you took it: once
Status
Still using No
Stopped with persistent change to symptoms: unsure yet
Duration of use: one single time
Response when you started:
Greatly improved [ ]
Slightly improved [ ]
Stayed the same [ ]
Slightly worsened [X ]
Greatly worsened [ ]
Current response (if you’re still using) OR Response in the time before you stopped the treatment
Greatly improved [ ]
Slightly improved [ ]
Stayed the same [ ]
Slightly worsened [X ]
Greatly worsened [ ]
Lasting changes to initial symptoms after cessation (if you have stopped for more than 3 weeks)
Greatly improved [ ]
Slightly improved [X]
Stayed the same [ ]
Slightly worsened [ ]
Greatly worsened [ ]
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I seem to be in another period of crashing and improving. It really seems like I have to feel worse before I feel better. When I took the Creatine it made me feel MUCH worse after which I started feeling better. When I initially crashed I improved quickly and felt much better before crashing into oblivion. I see many who have taken substances that make them feel better, followed by a permanent crash to a worsened state. Makes me think that whatever “cure” that might eventually be discovered would be harder to find as it might need to make people feel much worse initially while actually improving them long term. Things that make people feel better just seems like they don’t hold. Just some crazy late night thoughts.
Doing very well again despite the “crashing” cycles. Most of the Crashes are mild depression and anhedonia and mildly worse sleep with lack of libido and anxiety. It’s still a very noticeable pattern of up and down with overall arrow pointed up.
Overall, WAY more good days than bad. Only missing a few things to keep me from 100%. Missing small amount of aggression which I would actually prefer not to get back, and some small amount of libido, along with my enjoyment of some particular things. I can’t enjoy reading as much as I used to and painting is harder for me to enjoy. My sleep still isn’t completely normal, I’m able to sleep progressively longer and later now though, and my wake-ups are less often And less disruptive. My excitement for stuff is back though and emotions are running full force. Cried watching a dumb movie the other day like I used to. Laughed until I cried tonight. Creativity and intellect is back. Along with the crashing cycles I’m having cycles of whole body acne that come and go.
Just here to document and that’s all in case it’s helpful to someone.
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Are the crashes worse than what your original fin crash was like
Not even in the same league. On a scale of 1-10, if my original crash was a 10, these recent ones are like a 1. The one after the COVID vaccine was like a 3 maybe.
Awesome you’re still seeing improvements.
I’ve had PFS for almost 3 years now and the most discouraging aspect for me is there is no fluctuation of symptoms no matter what I try. Resistance training, running 5ks (21 min), eating strict paleo etc.
Have you had a phase of constant flatline before the fluctuation or have you always felt the fluctuations? If so, how long was your flatline phase?
It sometimes seems only the people with fluctuating symptoms improve or recover.
Hey PFS,
Probably not what you want to hear, but my longest flatline phase was prob 2-3 months. Otherwise I was fluctuating, mostly on the shitty end, but fluctuating nonetheless.
On the back of a bad night of sleep, the next night I slept 11 hours the other night, post-PFS record. Until now “make-up” sleep was not a thing I could do anymore. No matter how bad one nights sleep was, I couldn’t sleep more at another time to make up for it. I feel like this is a big shift for me, now being able to do that. After that, I’ve had some caffeine and it now seems to affect me normally again. I’m regularly drinking a daily morning coffee now for a few days.
Been “struggling” with orgasm quality and sensitivity. Both I never really considered problems before, but it seems to be one of my primary fluctuating problems now. Sex just doesn’t feel good sometimes, could’ve been I just had bigger problems before and didn’t notice as much. It’s fine sometimes though, maybe 50/50 currently.
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Ok thanks. I hope I will somehow reach the fluctuation phase. If it is even possible.
In my case sleep has never really been an issue. Same for anxiety. My emotions are just flat, no excitement good or bad.
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I hope you get there too.
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Just to give an example of what my current phase is like. I just came out of another (not even going to call them crashes anymore) “dip” and it lasted about 3 days. During that 3 days I didn’t sleep as well, night wake-ups, and up at like 7 or 7:30 even if I went to bed late. Woke up with some anxiety, but nothing debilitating, but noticeable. I noticed I’m much more concerned about my finances when I’m in a dip, which is unlike me and I just don’t get excited to do things or to listen to music. When I work, I just can’t think things through well and I have trouble figuring things out, can’t seem to get organized. They were previously 1-2 days and now they seem to be getting longer but not as deep. Today when I came out of it, slept straight through 8 hours and actually overslept for work. I’m killing it at work today, things are clicking and I finished an hour early. No anxiety, looked forward to getting off so I could play some games, noticeably higher libido, sensitivity back and orgasms feel great.
Still reacting normally to caffeine now even throughout my “dip”. So hopefully past the crashes entirely now and just waiting to ride out the dips until they go away entirely. Been eating chocolate regularly and soy also, still no I’ll effects. I went pretty hard on the chocolate test, but I’m still not pushing the soy test much as I don’t really care to.
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Same pattern I’ve been seeing for a while now. Slowly better and better Aver days/weeks until I feel really good and then a dip for a few days, followed by a severe headache after which I recover from, I feel I have a significantly better baseline than before. Main increases I’ve noticed of late are primarily sexual, libido, sensation, etc. Also starting to enjoy music more, and my perfectionistic/completionist tendencies are returning. Still not 100%, but getting closer and closer.
When you feel bad now, can you reach 80%? I know everyone defines their percentages differently. For example, from the end of last year to the beginning of March this year (about 100 days), it has been hovering at 80%-100%. My 80% standard is that I am in a happy mood + can complete ejaculation smoothly. The last 2 weeks I haven’t felt great again, because it’s hard to ejaculate and the libido is very low, so it’s 60-70% for two weeks.
Hi HOPEQ,
Using your rough percentage descriptions below, I say I would dip below 80% sometimes, to like 75% maybe, but 90%+ of the time I am well over 90% range. The dips are nothing I even dread anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not fun, but it’s just a noticeable downward change at this point and not much more than that. Also, at this point I can reliably count on the upswing afterwards so I just consider it part of the healing process now. I’m currently in the headache phase and honestly that might be the worst part. The headaches are pretty bad as I try not to take anything for them, but they’ve forced me to take Tylenol a few times.
Edit: maybe also worth mentioning that some of my very early symptoms (before I knew anything was wrong and was still on fin) are returning. Muscle twitches, and bumps on back of my neck and in my hair on back of my head and sideburns. The thing where I couldn’t get all my pee out though thankfully has not returned.
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I may understand how you feel. In fact, I also feel that the days around 90% are getting more and more, and even if it is lower than 80%, I am not so depressed. On the one hand, it may be because the mental symptoms have indeed alleviated, and on the other hand, it may be because I have adapted to all this. .
I also get occasional headaches on descents and a weird feeling in the back of my head, but my most noticeable symptom apart from the effects of the DHT is the nausea.
But I already feel better today.
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So had a 100% sudden actual crash that only lasted about 1.5 days. Sleep problems, severe anxiety, the works. Upon recovery, feel like I’m on an even higher level. Most noticeable improvements:
- Really starting to be able to look forward to and enjoy reading again. I could do it before, but it just wasn’t the same. Much easier to enjoy a video game or TV show.
- General mental functioning improved.
- libido increase
- Sex just feels way better
- General outlook on life is better, looking forward to doing things more and starting to really crave to do things that I enjoy more in general.
-Even lower anxiety
Things still missing:
- I’m VERY light sleeper now
- Can’t really sleep past 7:30
- Some small amount of libido
- Some amount of “addiction” to my hobbies, in particular reading.
- Some amount of aggression
- Perfectionistic tendencies and drive to accomplish still not quite there
REALLY close though.
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Always feel best after a crash and worst after a spike. Tonight I’m having my first sleepless night in a VERY long time. It’s been over 6 months I think since a zero-sleep night, maybe even closer to 9. My mood is ok right now, not terrible, but not great. Mainly I just can’t sleep. My mood earlier today was fantastic if you couldn’t tell by my precious post I felt close to 100% for like 2 days.
I’m not sure what may have caused it. I have gotten hit by many many things at once. So it may just be the stress of the situation or any of many things.
-Got very busy at work
-Traveling a lot with changing sleeping schedule, waking up very early for flights, getting to sleep very late.
- Got pink eye and had to take eye drops
- Got some infection on my ass and has to use some antibiotic topical cream
- Got sick twice (mild, no medicine require). Sore throat and runny nose only.
- Muscle twitches returning significantly
Right now my biggest fear is I caught mild COVID and am getting long-haul COVID coronoasomnia. Has been a fear of mine as long as I’ve had PFS. Not jumping to conclusions, just going to ride it out and hope for a solid night of sleep tonight. I haven’t had two bad nights of sleep running for probably 12 months or more, so I have some confidence this was a one off.
I’m in some weird new phase now. The other night had another night of zero-sleep. Next day I was better by the evening and then last night slept like 10.5 hours and woke up feeling amazing. Was good all morning until lunch and got hit by some mild anxiety VERY suddenly, like a switch, that’s still here but completely manageable. Having very weird head sensations also, like a pressure in certain parts of my brain? It’s so weird and the burning sensation I’ve had before comes back occasionally.
Not a fan of the zero sleep nights but at least it’s only one at a time with a gap so far.
Another 11 hour sleep night plus A 2 hour mid-day nap. Felt 100% since the nap. I’m betting another zero sleep night is in my future, but I will take this trade right now. Occasional zero-sleep night for some 100%? Yes please.
Definitely have entered some new phase.
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Still feeling great…. Just a thought. I feel like the crash with the no sleep was VERY similar to my initial crash except MUCH lower in intensity. I even suffered almost all my initial symptoms leading up to the no sleep days.
My feelings on this are two fold. I’m hoping this means maybe now I will recover normally to 100% over next few months like you are supposed to when you stop fin. However I’m also slightly afraid I will have some kind of secondary crash in a few months as well that I’ll have to recover from. As good as I have felt for sometime now, I have to believe it’s the former. Just some random thoughts I had that I thought were worth documenting.
Edit: Libido feels 100% recovered now past week. I feel I’m currently only missing ability to sleep super deep like I used to (light sleeper now) and perfectionistic tendencies are missing. That’s really it. Otherwise I’m back.
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