I was 15 when I was losing hair and Finasteride was shoved in my face. I wasn’t even on the drug long enough to achieve any hair loss results. Instead, after 1mg/day for 6 weeks, I became increasingly aware of the sexual side effects I was experiencing. After a quick bit of research on what I was putting in my body and the hell it was putting people through. Naturally I threw my meds out right then and there, but this new insight caused stress to reach unbearable levels and I fell into an instant state of depression. After a couple weeks, the sexual side effects vanished, as did the depression. More than anything, I was only paranoid that I had interfered with puberty and had, subsequently, stunted my development.
ADHD runs in my mom’s side of the family and I’ve always exhibited the symptoms to some extent, but they were completely manageable as a child and raised no alarms. Due to the nature of the “brain fog” I’ve read so much about here, I wasn’t even immediately aware that I essentially became a different person overnight. When the feelings of depressions faded, it left behind an utter lack of cognitive awareness, REM sleep became an extremely rare occurrence and, in addition to my mind’s disconnection from my senses, my fully functioning penis is unable to receive signals from my brain.
My unrelenting absence from the reality I’m physically surrounded with has made it impossible to form any bond with another human being. I was a virgin before taking this drug and I will never experience sex on any mental or emotional level. My libido is perfectly normal and my T levels have always been in range as far as I know, but I don’t have turn-ons or turn-offs, nothing arouses me, and I don’t know if I even have any sort of sexual preference at all. My penis is deaf, blind, and dumb; responsive only to touch. Because I’m so easily distracted from the physical sensation, there is very little middle ground between flaccid and ejaculation (holding back a climax tends to eliminate my erection with little chance of recovery).
At 15, I could never have comprehended the Finasteride’s mechanism of action and the risks I was taking. A dermatologist said this drug was my best bet at stopping hair loss and sent me on my way, no mention of any side effects. I received no warnings, and he was not the slightest bit concerned about the “18 years or older” suggestion on the label. Because this all occurred during puberty, my behavioral changes never held any significance to an outside perspective. I’ve never brought up this topic to any family member or professional because it would solidify the idea that I’ve caused damage that will forever restrict my ability to thrive as an adult male. After 7 years, I have not experienced any bit of improvement or remission in my mental anguish. It’s as if my mind is being held captive by the least remarkable personality on the planet.