Hi @Dknighten
Looks like you’re at the bottom. I almost killed myself some 25 years ago and I discovered that if I was ready to die, I was invulnerable: I could try anything and I could always kill myself anytime I wished.
I really feel for you man. I don’t know how many times the same ideas have crossed my mind after I crashed. I really though it would be better if I would end it. I also prayed for God to give me an answer and he did. But God’s answer don’t come as a voice in your head telling you what to do, it comes as coincidences.
As I posted elsewhere: " … And by a series of coincidence, I had a friend that told me you can heal anything with diet. He didn’t tell what to eat though. Then I watched a video of someone curing his complete insomnia, anxiety and depression by going on a carnivore diet. For some reason, I didn’t connect to the idea. The next day, another friend told me about the same guy and how amazing he recovered just by changing this diet. I was intrigued. To topple that, when i came home, late that night, the only thing I had in the fridge was a whole chicken breast I cooked the day before. I microwaved it and that’s all I had that evening for dinner.
I didn’t know at the time, but that was the first day of a carnivore / ketogenic diet that lasted more than 10 months now. Three days later the headaches, the stomach ache and gastric reflux stopped, along with most of the neurological symptoms. The sexual symptoms took longer to dissipate. A few month in the diet, my sperm became thick again, my balls were hurting less, sex drive was slowly getting back.
At this point, I am mostly symptom free; I’m not cured ! If I quite the diet I’m back on the boat, but I honestly think if I keep at it long enough, I will be cured. I’m expecting this to happen within one to four years. (I’m an optimistic)
Meanwhile the diet has done wonder to my body and I feel more in shape than I have been for decades.
So that’s the diet story."
I tried juicing and paleo with no results.
Why don’t you give this diet a chance: Rib eye steaks with salt only, lots of animal saturated fat (Ghee, butter, lard, tallow, up to 200 gr a day). You can also eat two of the following, spinach 200 gr a day, half a cucumbers, a dozen leaves of romaine lettuce or a zucchinis. You can only drink water. This solved 80% of all my symptoms.
Looks to me like you have nothing to lose ! Try it for a week !
If you feel better, contact me, I will tell you some extra food items you can eat.
Saturated fat is the prime ingredients for hormones. The brain works better on it. The extra proteins and saturated fat enables your body to fix itself. But especially, NOT eating carbs really helps people with pfs.
The flame is still burning. If you give it a chance, it can turn into a raging fire. This experience and all you went through before can make you unstoppable. You can achieve more than you dreamed for !
You do what you want and I’m so sorry you’re at that cross road. But I’m telling you: great men have been forged out of pain and misery. And as you have a sharp mind to begin with, I think you have all the ingredients to be one of those men we read about in books ! Give it a try ! What do you have to lose ?
Or send God your best prayers and look for coincidences that can lead you to solutions !
You have my best thoughts.
Ozeph
