Balph’s Journey Pt 2

General Discussion
#74

Hey all,

I’ve changed the name of this thread to something more positive.

I didn’t ask to be put in this situation, yet here I am. Recovery stories from severe PFS cases, generally - but not always - caused by two or more major crashes, are very few and far between. It is my hope to show that recovery from such a state is not impossible. To be honest, I have no other choice in the matter.

From now on, I’ll be using this thread to document my journey from this incredibly low point I find myself in. This thread will not be about useless protocols involving herbs and supplements. Rather, it will be about a person who found his way through the dark.

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light”

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#75

I salute you soldier

Very few things make me feel good these days but reading that very much does

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#76

Hi Balph you’re strong and you Will get out of this situation. Keep fighting like you’re doing my friend.

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#77

Thanks heaps @lakehouse and @Huehueh96

Here is where I currently stand:

  • Androgen intolerance (0% RECOVERED) Body is still intolerant to anything that raises testosterone - the main ones being working out, cardio and ejaculation. These activities cause muscle twitching and worsening of all symptoms
  • Loss of collagen around eyes causing sunken-in appearance, progressing to other areas of face (0% RECOVERED)
  • Anhedonia is still extreme (0% RECOVERED)
  • Brain fog (20% RECOVERED) Still struggling with basic tasks and forget things easily
  • Burning genitals (100% RECOVERED) This has completely stopped, thank the lord
  • Penis shape change (0% RECOVERED) Head of penis is almost bloated looking and extends down more. Sorry for the imagery. No changes to this.
  • Fatigue (20% RECOVERED) fatigue levels have improved a little
  • Phantom ammonia smell (90% RECOVERED) I can hardly smell this anymore, only in certain scenarios
  • Tinnitus in both ears (20% RECOVERED) seems to vary daily from bad to not so bad
  • Clicking joints (0% RECOVERED) No change, still bad
  • Muscle twitches / spasms (80% RECOVERED) They hardly twitch or spasm anymore unless I raise my testosterone somehow
  • Bone and teeth pain (50% RECOVERED) This is happening less frequently
  • Jaw pain (70% RECOVERED) Jaw pain occurring much less
  • Diffuse hair loss (0% RECOVERED) Losing so much hair I think I will buzz it
  • Body odour change (0% RECOVERED) My body odour smells like Weet-bix (Aussie reference). Old man smell
  • No muscle pump (0% RECOVERED) Muscles get zero blood pump and feel offline
  • No thirst sensation (20% RECOVERED) I’m starting to feel it very slightly
  • Dry eyes (20% RECOVERED) Dryness gone down slightly
  • Dry and cracked feet (0% RECOVERED) Seems to be getting worse
  • Insomnia (?% RECOVERED) Mirtazipine has completely cured this so I don’t know. I need to get off the Mirt but it I believe the 10 hours sleep it is giving me is helping me recover. Double edged sword.
  • Songs playing in my head all the time (0% RECOVERED) Drives me insane, I’ve heard this is due do damaged GABA receptors. @Erik had this and improved fully
  • Intense lower back pain (20% RECOVERED) This is still very very painful. I have an old man’s back. I can’t bend over at all and if causes me to walk very slowly. The best description is that I move around and act like the Grandpa from Rugrats
  • Extreme anxiety (20% RECOVERED) Morning anxiety is gone now. Day time anxiety is fluctuates but is definitely lessened. I am much more depressed than anxious now.
  • Dry hair (0% RECOVERED) No oil at all, disgusting
  • Dry skin (0% RECOVERED) No oil at all, disgusting
  • Food intolerances (0% RECOVERED) It seems gluten really screws me up now
  • Burning sensation in brain in the morning (100% RECOVERED) Also completely disappeared
  • Chronic constipation (0% RECOVERED) I am still shitting out bricks. Very difficult and often painful
  • Flatulence after every meal (0% RECOVERED)
  • Food not digesting properly (100% RECOVERED) I am no longer shitting out perfectly intact mushrooms
  • Sharp pain in my left nipple (100% RECOVERED) This has stopped completely
  • Painful throbbing hands and feet (90% RECOVERED) Feet hardly throb any more
  • Bad reaction to any medication (?% RECOVERED) Haven’t tested since
  • Zero stress tolerance (20% RECOVERED) Still bad but definitely improved
  • Sharp pain in muscles (100% RECOVERED) Don’t get this anymore — but could return if I increase testosterone?
  • Congested sinuses (30% RECOVERED) Still bad but it has lessened to the point where they are not fully clogged up
  • Pimples all over body (80% RECOVERED) At the start of my second crash I had pimples and age spots everywhere. They have greatly diminished
  • Eczema (100% RECOVERED) The eczema on my forehead has cleared up completely
  • Constantly have to urinate (20% RECOVERED) Still bad but slightly better
  • Akithisia (30% RECOVERED) I feel less restless overall as time goes by. Glad this is improving because it was BY FAR one of the worst sides. I couldn’t be still at all at the start
  • Coughing up phlegm for no reason (20% RECOVERED) Still coughing up random phlegm even though I’m not sick
  • Cold hands and feet (100% RECOVERED) Haven’t felt this for a while now. It was very bad at the start
  • Sound sensitivity (50% RECOVERED) Sounds are making me jump less
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#78

Tbh I think you should taper off the mirtzapine. If only for not wanting your sleep to suddenly drop off.

#79

tzinkman crashed from mirtzapine

#81

To detox from all the garbage I’ve eaten over the last two months, I’ll be starting a two week water fast tomorrow. After the fast I will be sticking to a strict clean diet. I have to do this as eating any junk food causes my gut to become severely inflamed and makes me unable to move. I’ll try exercising again after the two weeks is up. Given how bad my condition is I don’t expect any recovery, but I need to try being healthy again.

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#82

Please, please do not do a water fast. Fasting is antiandrogenic and given your recent worsenings as a result of taking other antiandrogens, there’s a decent chance this could be absolutely catastrophic for you.

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#83

So upon refeed it could cause another crash?

#84

Well the act of fasting itself could cause trigger another crash or intensify existing symptoms.

It may not for you - I don’t know - but you need to clearly understand the risks involved.

#85

Didn’t you have hair loss before taking propecia? Or is it worse now?

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#86

Sorry I meant that my hair is so brittle and thin now that it breaks and falls out very easily. I have no choice but to buzz it.

#87

Hey all, I think I will take a break from the forum for a while. If anyone wants to talk, feel free to PM me. I wish everyone only the best and thank everyone for their hard work. I hope we can cure this sooner than we think.

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#88

Balph, same for you. If you sometime need a partner to Talk (not only of this disease) you can pm (but my english is not the best). Give time to your body.

This forum is great in order to get info and avoiding some SUPPLEMENTS and mistakes that other pfs’s sufferers did…but once you have all the info and you are in early stages like you or like me i think that its better to not being so active in this forum, rest and wait for improcedents.

I LOVE this forum, i LOVE this ppl so much and i need this forum but It gives me anxiety, cant stop reading and reading looking for paralelisms.

In some manner i understand you and as i said in other messages i appreciate you. I Hope you come back with good news

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#89

New symptoms:

  • The attachment point of my fingernails has started to recede
  • Fingers have started to dry out
  • Gums have started to bleed when brushed
  • Weight gain on arms, chest and mid section
  • Heels of feet have been aching for no reason

I tried some push-ups and my muscles just don’t respond at all. Exercise seems to only hurt them. I doubt this will change any time soon so it’s only a matter of time before I lose all my muscle. My muscles also feel dead, they don’t have the hardness they used to.

The other thing that kills me is my complete lack of flexibility. My lower back is absolutely screwed. I can’t bend down to pick things up anymore. It’s very painful.

Fatigue varies from day to day. Some days it’s so bad I can hardly walk.

Mentally I am still crippled by Anhedonia. I can’t feel or enjoy anything. I have soul crushing depression that leaves me suicidal around the clock.

I still hope for my miracle.

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#90

Yes, my nails are starting to move back and get shorter, my gums are bleeding, I’ve gained a lot of fat and my muscles are shrinking

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#91

It’s an absolute nightmare. Just remember, the cure should reverse all of this.

#92

Hi Balph i experience pain in one tooth, do u see red gum in those tooths that are soring? Thanks and sry

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#93

Hey HH,

I hope you are doing OK my friend.

Unfortunately I have had dental issues, specifically tooth pain and bleeding gums. The bleeding gums happens when I brush my teeth. The tooth pain is random. Now that my dental hygiene is better again I’m hoping it will subside.

If it’s just one tooth I think you don’t have a big reason to be scared. Let me know how it goes.

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#94

So I thought I would do a mini update on a more positive note.

I’ve been feeling a bit better these last couple of days, mainly because the debilitating fatigue I’ve been experiencing since my second crash has started to lift. I did some cardio today for the first time in two months and I feel pretty good, besides some muscle twitching in my legs and feet afterwards. It seems my exercise intolerance may be getting better. I’m going to reintroduce bodyweight exercises when I feel my body is ready.

Secondly, after two months of stress eating, I’ve decided to overhaul my diet. I’ve been eating once a day with a meal consisting of lamb, eggs, cheese, fish and fruit. Eating like this really helps with my digestion issues and constipation which PFS has caused me. It also cuts out the processed food which inflames my gut.

By following the above habits I hope to lose all the fat I’ve gained on my stomach, hips, chest and thighs (I never used to store fat like this), as well as put my body in the best place to heal. I’m also hope that moving more can help my stiff joints and muscles.

There’s still a lot wrong with me but it’s good to have some positive progress.

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