Balph’s Journey Pt 2

Since my second crash, I have had so many sides develop that my quality of life is effectively zero now.

Here is what I am dealing with:

  • Muscle wastage has started
  • Loss of subcutaneous fat in forehead, feels like brow bone is sticking out
  • Anhedonia
  • Burning genitals (seems to have subsided)
  • Penis shape change
  • Fatigue
  • Phantom ammonia smell (seems to have subsided)
  • Tinnitus in both ears
  • Clicking joints
  • Muscle twitches / spasms
  • Bone and teeth pain
  • Jaw and face pain (jaw is receding slowly)
  • Diffuse hair loss
  • Body odour change (smells like cat piss)
  • Can’t feel thirst
  • Dry eyes
  • Dry and cracked feet
  • Complete insomnia (I can’t sleep at all and I now get brain zaps when I’m about to doze off) I can only sleep with Ambien and only gives 4.5 hours
  • Songs playing in my head all the time
  • Intense lower back pain
  • Extreme anxiety especially in the morning
  • Dry hair
  • Food intolerances, get bad stomach pain after eating anything that’s not simple foods
  • Burning sensation in brain in the morning
  • Chronic constipation
  • Food not digesting properly
  • Sharp pain in my left nipple
  • Painful throbbing hands and feet (my feet haven’t stopped throbbing for two weeks)
  • Bad reaction to any medication (pain meds etc)
  • Zero stress tolerance
  • Sharp pain in muscles
  • Congested sinuses
  • Pimples all over body
  • Eczema
  • Exercise intolerance (muscles don’t respond to hypertrophy training and cardio makes me worse, no endorphin hit)
  • Constantly have to urinate
  • Changed sense of smell (everything smells chemically)
  • Akisthisia
  • Coughing up phlegm for no reason
  • Cold hands and feet
  • Sound sensitivity

Sorry for the grim update but this is the reality of my situation now. Stay away from antipsychotics!

May we all have peace.



How long has it been since your crash from anti-psychotics?

It took me nearly a year after a second crash to regain some semblance of normal sleep and state of mind. Really was uncertain about whether I would survive that episode.

It’s only been two weeks, however I’ve developed almost every symptom in the book since then. Did you get muscle, collagen loss, tinnitus etc. when you crashed a second time?

I kept a journal of it here: A warning about SAMe, methylcobalamin, and high-dose B vitamins

Definitely had weight loss and people commenting that my face was thinning out. I was in bad shape for the first 4-6 months after both crashes in 99’ and 18’. Was unsure if I would survive either, but improved greatly from rock-bottom each time.

Only point being that you are in the very early days of experiencing this and think it would be a shame to count yourself out already.

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Balph - I really do understand where you are right now. It’s amazing how quick all this happens, but you really are in the early stages of this. HOLD ON. There are great things going on right now behind the scenes and we’re gonna get back to our former selves. You have to believe that. You’re clearly a young, ambitious professional with his entire life ahead of him. This will be a dark chapter that you’ll look back on one day and be so thankful that you didn’t give into suicide. I’m not just blowing smoke either; I really believe we’re gonna fix this. In the meantime, there’s a very good chance your body will eventually began to heal itself. The first few months are extremely difficult.


Thanks guys, the problem is that this is a second major crash. Taking antipsychotics was akin to taking finasteride again. Re-exposure cases seem to always result in progressive deterioration, and the sides I’m experiencing line up with this. On top of that I am completely disabled mentally, my anxiety response is 5x worse than what it was during my first crash. I simply can’t do or feel anything. My first crash seemed like a walk in the park compared to this. I have so many sides now it is absolutely baffling.

I hear you, man. I took Finasteride, Prozac, and got long COVID in less than a years timeframe. I’ve developed a debilitating stutter that affects both my professional and personal life. I’ve got loose skin, muscle atrophy, debilitating brain fog, voice changes, facial changes, joint cracking, weakness, fatigue and a myriad of other symptoms that affect me ever day. It’s been 9 months and even though it’s been a slow and steady process, I have seen some improvements. What keeps me going is believing that we’re going to one day defeat this and get our lives back.

You definitely have a lot going on, but try to think about your parents who clearly love you so much. Taking your life will not ease their pain, but only ruin them. We have a fighting chance here. It’s hard not to sound cliche, but try to focus on the things you can still do. I really think a lot of the things will correct themselves in time for you.


Thanks Recovery and Dubya. Your encouragement means a lot. It is profound to me that this situation is the result of the cascading effect caused by one (yes one) Proscar tablet. Absolutely unreal. I must sound like a drama queen, but I am seriously struggling with my life. I pray to God that I can stabilise from this second crash. Even if my body wastes away, I’d at least like my mind back.

I am a very severe case and had all the symptoms you have. It is only almost a year after the crash that I can sleep for more than an hour, although I have a hard time falling asleep and during the holidays I couldn’t even go outside. You need to give your body time to recover. I recommend you start a diet, try fasting on water or juices and if possible find an infrared sauna or buy an infrared panel. I’m still not in good shape, but lately I’ve been a little more enthusiastic to get better, especially after I haven’t been able to get out of bed for almost a year. First of all, let go of the sexual issues for now.


im in the same boat as you, i have gum recession, broken teeth and bone reduction. Stay strong, you are not alone, the last days have been hard for me after i discovered what i have… But i feel like i can live with this.


Thank you ^

New sides emerging:

  • Every morning I wake up with a horrible burning sensation in my brain. It lasts for about half an hour. Has anyone experienced this?
  • Coughing up phlegm even though I’m not sick
  • Lower body temp at times, almost freezing

i had headache too, i felt my brain is reduced too.
Yes i coughing small plaques of phlegm sometimes.
I cant tolerate any cold anymore.

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I had all of this as well

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Hey bro I’ve safely taken propanalol for what it’s worth

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Furthermore, a lot of my symptoms in general seem to be associated with that of low dopamine.

I’ve got akathisia, chronic hypertension (heart rate is through the roof and does not go down), restless leg syndrome, horrible insomnia, sore lower back, constipation, complete anhedonia, no motivation or drive, etc. This mirrors that of benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome (low dopamine), but I believe in my case the dopamine receptors are fucked and it’s permanent…. Really worried at this point. I think both my androgen receptors and dopamine receptors have been cooked.

Ralph as I’ve said via pms Do not take anything else stop looking for a band aid in the form of medication u think things couldn’t get worse!!! See through distraction strategies, mindfulness, etc etc and WAIT this out. This takes work stick with it. I’ve seen many like u over the years who stabilised and improved to a degree over a matter of months. I know its hard, words don’t come close but dig deep, deeper than u think u can. This is the difference!!!


Thanks, every day is a damn war it is crazy. You are much stronger than me Ryan. Kudos. If anyone has dealt with the following before please let me know — persistent high heart rate, lower back pain, chronic constipation. I’d like to know if these are PFS symptoms or separate dopamine receptor issues.

I had all of those things when I first crashed. Albeit not on a constant basis, but I did have those things.

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These are pfs symptoms I have them too

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