When PFS overwhelmed me in Dec 2014, I lost ALL my "humanity" (emotion, compassion, empathy, etc.). But it eventually ALL came back


#1

So I’m trying to be helpful here and present the possibility that your emotional normality/humanity will COMPLETELY return eventually, as it did for me.

I had forgotten how I turned into an amoral, soulless, emotionless robot when PFS hit me in Dec 2014. I was normal until then, cared about others (esp. family), donated to charity, had a fun/joyful life most of the time, girlfriend, cried when watching E.T. (haha), etc.

EVERY TRACE of my “humanity” inexplicably disappeared overnight when PFS hit. I cared about nothing, no trace of emotion/feeling, just didn’t give a [bleep] about anything or anyone. I was not sad about the “emotional void” because it was IMPOSSIBLE to remember/recover any trace of humanity.

Combined with the other horrific things that were happening to me (total impotence, zero libido, breast development(!), black eyes, etc.), I tried to kill myself by starvation (stupid, I know, but it was impossible to buy a gun, too painful to hang/poison/cut my wrists/etc.). But I got involuntarily thrown into a hospital for two months in April 2015 and survived.


Anyway, the great news is my normal humanity 100% returned eventually; all compassion/emotion/sense of humor totally normal. Like PFS never occurred. I wish I had kept a journal to track when/how emotional normality returned. It mostly returned by mid-2015, though I still felt suicidal due to 100% sexual dysfunction (which amazingly also disappeared in 2017, see my other threads (perhaps caused by bloodstream injections of methyl steroids)).

So hang in there if you feel like an emotional zombie. You just might recover!

P.S. Here’s a jokey text message I sent today to my personal assistant Jenel - life is fun again!


#2

Hi, glad to know that you feel better… Did you have insomnia and tachycardia during your sleeps ?


#3

Sorry, don’t understand your question.

Has anybody else lost emotional feeling and regained it, like me? How long to recover?


#4

I’m roughly 8 months off, and although I did not regain emotion, my emotional sensation is better on more days than not. Still have days where it’s nonexistent, still have days where I feel terrible, but I also have good days. I do have a lot of other qualities like the ones you described returning to varying degrees, but it’s hard to be as compassionate as I used to simply because my life is so terrible.

I was also wondering, did you ever have a loss of sensitivity and did methylsteroids bring this back?


#5

Too bad for you Borax! But some improvement is good news so hang in there.

No, my sense of humor/emotionality/compassion were back in full force within six months of Dec 2014. Libido independently returned in Jan 2017. Taking methyl steroids in Feb 2017 POSSIBLY eded all remaining sexual dysfunction by June 2017. (See my other threads.)

Psychotherapy was not helpful for me (no one understands the horrors of PFS) but it may work for you.

So I’m a rare example of a PFS victim who somehow fully recovered from ALL PFS maladies except insomnia. By nearly starving myself I severely damaged my speech, balance, and fine motor control.

DON’T BE LIKE ME AND “GIVE UP” PREMATURELY!


#6

Are you sure it wasn’t just the probiotics that cured you :avocado:


#7

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306453018305067

Finasteride ‘Causes Several Alterations’ in the Section of the Brain Responsible for Processing Long-term Memory and Emotional Responses, New Animal-model Study Demonstrates

SOMERSET, N.J., Oct. 1, 2018 – “Finasteride treatment causes several alterations in the hippocampus,” the section of the brain responsible for processing long-term memory and emotional responses, according to a new study conducted at the University of Milano, and the Cajal Institute and Carlos III Health Institute, both in Madrid.

Titled Treatment of male rats with finasteride, an inhibitor of 5alpha-reductase enzyme, induces long-lasting effects on depressive-like behavior, hippocampal neurogenesis, neuroinflammation and gut microbiota composition, the animal-model study was led by Roberto Cosimo Melcangi, Ph.D. at UM’s Department of Pharmacological and Biomolecular Sciences, whose team totaled seven researchers from the three institutions.


#8

Anybody else recover?

I am extraordinarily fortunate because I had worst-case scenario PFS and I’m 90% cured of PFS-related maladies that plagued me since Dec 2014:

  • 100% loss of emotionality/compassion (100% resolved after 6 months)
  • 100% loss of libido (100% resolved after 2 years)
  • 100% physical impotence (100% resolved after 2.5 years, possibly due to intravenous methyl steroid treatment recommended by Mayo)
  • breast development, penis pain, etc. all resolved quickly

I still have horrific insomnia but it is 50% cured now with Balsomra/exercise. I’ve slept 3-5 hours per night for a while.


#9

Did you have mental symptoms aside from insomnia and emotional bluntness? You only mentioned physical and sexual.

Thx


#10

Yes!

  • extremely disturbing hallucinations (100% resolved after 2 months)
  • 100% loss of emotionality/compassion/empathy (100% resolved after 6 months)
  • two years suicidal depression (several unsuccessful suicide attempts, tried to buy gun, nearly starved myself); OK(ish) since Jan 2017, no anti-depressants since then

#11

Glad you’re doing so well now. Gives the rest of us hope. I’ve been dizzy and have fucked up vision for the last 5 months. Hoping all our stories end like yours.


#12

That’s really good to hear buddy, I have bad OCD so the lack of empathy makes my intrusive thoughts even worse, feel more real etc.
Great to hear some positive news :blush:


#13

My double vision lasted 1.5 years but 100% resolved naturally. I assumed it was caused by near starvation, not PFS.


#14

hey anonymous, I’m super happy for you and your positivity is appreciated. could you go into some more detail about your intravenous methyl steroid injections? where did you inject/did you go to a doctor or at home? what was the procedure like? I’m considering doing something similar, as I believe breaking up fibrosis and fully restoring healthy blood flow may only be achieved by something as drastic as making injections into the penis.


#15

I left finasteride in May 2016 after 2 years of use and I have also gradually improved.

Congratulations.


#16

I created a thread about methyl steroids:

https://forum.propeciahelp.com/t/methyl-steroids-and-or-time-luck-100-cured-my-sexual-probs/9416


Possible definitive protocol for sexual sides
#17

Do you think the near starvation helped you (not trying to be insensitive or funny)? Did you do fasting/dieting protocols?


#18

No, terrible idea, borne of desperation, caused horrific permanent health probs.


#19

COPY FOR AUTO TRANSLATION

The blood work revealed no diagnostic abnormalities. That leaves us with the possibility of the trial of intravenous methylprednisolone therapy as we had discussed in the office. This is something that could be done in Charlotte with the involvement of his physician. Specifically, we would be using this trial as not simply therapy but for diagnostic purposes. To accomplish that, a limited neurologic examination is appropriate prior to starting treatment to establish a baseline. At a minimum, standing and taking a few steps would be a good reference point since the imbalance was rather striking. This would be followed by five consecutive days of 1000 mg of intravenously administered methylprednisolone. It typically is administered over 90 minutes. At the end of the five days the exam is then repeated. If there is meaningful benefit and more than can be expected by chance or placebo effect, that would be interpreted as possible evidence of an autoinmune condition. In that case, I would like to be back in the loop to learn how things have gone, and I would then be happy to advise what to do beyond that. If there was rather striking improvement, the usual strategy we have done here is to continue the intravenous methylprednisolone once a week to complete 6 to 12 weeks of treatment. Beyond that, a decision must then be made how to extend immunosuppression but with modalities other than methylprednisolone. In that, case, I would then considerar involving colleagues from our Neuroimmunology group. I also advised a brief videotape of the before and after results in case we need to have objetive evidence of the degree of improvement.


#20

Anybody else lost/regained emotionality/compassion?