So I’m trying to be helpful here and present the possibility that your emotional normality/humanity will COMPLETELY return eventually, as it did for me.
I had forgotten how I turned into an amoral, soulless, emotionless robot when PFS hit me in Dec 2014. I was normal until then, cared about others (esp. family), donated to charity, had a fun/joyful life most of the time, girlfriend, cried when watching E.T. (haha), etc.
EVERY TRACE of my “humanity” inexplicably disappeared overnight when PFS hit. I cared about nothing, no trace of emotion/feeling, just didn’t give a [bleep] about anything or anyone. I was not sad about the “emotional void” because it was IMPOSSIBLE to remember/recover any trace of humanity.
Combined with the other horrific things that were happening to me (total impotence, zero libido, breast development(!), black eyes, etc.), I tried to kill myself by starvation (stupid, I know, but it was impossible to buy a gun, too painful to hang/poison/cut my wrists/etc.). But I got involuntarily thrown into a hospital for two months in April 2015 and survived.
Anyway, the great news is my normal humanity 100% returned eventually; all compassion/emotion/sense of humor totally normal. Like PFS never occurred. I wish I had kept a journal to track when/how emotional normality returned. It mostly returned by mid-2015, though I still felt suicidal due to 100% sexual dysfunction (which amazingly also disappeared in 2017, see my other threads (perhaps caused by bloodstream injections of methyl steroids)).
So hang in there if you feel like an emotional zombie. You just might recover!
P.S. Here’s a jokey text message I sent today to my personal assistant Jenel - life is fun again!
