No you can’t.
@orthogs I should have said a later brain scan hashown further damage. Then look at Robin Williams, the neurons in his brain were destroyed.
I’m not doubting your claim that your brain sustained further damage. But to attribute it to PFS is unfounded.
Well the neuroscience department stated it wasn’t down to the original bleed.whichvwas as the consequence of a fall. Even after the recovery I was still very smart and was extremely fit. Laws of probability put it at the door of pfs.
I see hCG on your list. How much of it did you administer it, and how often? I’m on it for over 2 months now, at 250iu injected 3 times a week, and I’m feeling emotionally better, with less hopelessness. There are some other improvements, but I’m happy with the emotional parts and continuing to use it.
Can you share your experience with it? Would you consider using it again?
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How long did u stay on stuff like NSI-189?
How you survived so long? For me it’s only the hope of healing or relief that I did.
I will try a few more medications, see a urologist and andrologist, wait for the Baylor trial (if it should come out in November) and then is the journey of experiments and waiting over. 3 years are a good deadline, and with that I fought longer than three other young men with whom I wrote, who also were destroyed by Trazodone and now are dead. At some point everyone realise that the body will not recover (unless a proverbial miracle cure comes along in next decades) and must ask himself if he want to exist like that or not. Some can accpet it, some not. But why continuine to suffer?
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I feel the same exact way. I’m down to the last months here I think. Have a relatively peaceful method ready to go. Just can’t keep fighting in such a severe state. Nothing has gotten better in 2.5 years. Everyone has a limit of how much they can take.
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Not to let those that depend on you down…
Hey man. Like I said after Accutane I wasn’t totally destroyed, I could manage life. I just knew it was seriously something wrong with me. I didn’t connect the dots until I got PSSD five years ago. And since then I’ve been living with almost daily suicidal ideation. Tried to killed myself twice, got admitted to mental hospital five times. In the meantime got in debt and spend around 20 thousand dollars on almost every “cure” that could work. So for a long time I just lived with hope that maybe next hormone or peptide or supplement will miraculously cure me. But it didn’t happen and now I know that I will never have a normal live. Why am I alive? Liek I said it takes massive balls to take your own life and I’m just too much of a coward to do it properly. As I stopped believing in God, I guess this life is the only one I will ever have and I’m trying to hold on to it, taking it day by day. It’s a torture, but I’m telling myself that as long as I stay alive, I still have a chance. After you die, you’re just a food for worms.
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Longest streak was around 6 months, but I had a feeling that it stopped working after that and I couldn’t afford it anyway.
I took around 250iu 3xweek for around 3 months. I didn’t feel anything on it. Positive or negative. And it was legit stuff from pharmacy. If I had money I would go for full PCT with hcg, clomid and tamoxifen for at least couple of months. I guess it’s worth a shot.
Unless you get cremated 
No seriously, I have respect for those who fight and this is part of life. But for how long?
There is this saying: “Even a good warrior knows when a battle is lost.”
That’s a good point my man 
I don’t know how long but I have a feeling that not much longer. I have had it with this motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.
I’m in the exakt same situation. Every single word you say describes how I feel, too. I am 35 now and have PSSD for 11 years.
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All we have to do is start advocating for ourselves as a group, start drawing attention to our condition, give scientists the data they need to study us, and get research started. The tragedy is that we haven’t started to do any of those things. Once we do we’ll get a cure.
For example, instead of sitting here crying for the last two years, we could have sought out other survey responders and obtained two or three times as much data for the scientists to work with. Until they get that data, no cure.
The harsh reality is that probably there will never be official “cure” for this conditions caused by psych meds, iso and fin. It’s a billion dollar market and companies will never admit that this drugs cause permanent damage because it will mean huge decrase in sales. Secondly, how many people you think are damaged like us? 100 000, 500 000, 1 000 000? Even if it’s one million no company would ever market the drug that targets such a small group because it’s simply not profitable. Just a cost of developing the drug and clinical trials would much exceed profits from the sales. Face it guys, we are fucked
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If research had been focused on brain damage and receptors, cure would have been possible. But unfortunatly everyone just want an erect dick so a cure from this situation is almost impossible.
You are so confident about “brain damage” holy…
I read your introduction, I really feel for you. I’m also writing this for all the other young victims who’d benefit from the perspective from someone who is a few years older and, yes, wiser.
First, I know some of you have been harder hit than me. But I still believe in what I’m about to say.
At the end of the day, whether a human has a ‘perfect’ life or goes through hell like many of us, life is only worthwhile if you find meaning. Enter Jordan Peterson, who has struggled with (severe) depression his entire life, and talks about finding meaning, a reason to live so your life feels worth living. Listen to him, again and again.
First of all, meaning can be anything. Making a difference in someone’s life often becomes a powerful thing. A partner, a parent, a friend, even strangers… Supporting strangers on this forum who are as desperate as you and ask themselves what the point is. There are teenagers who get mild PFS and think there is nothing left to live for, because they don’t have our perspective yet. Someone like LazarusRy who can be there for his kid despite his own situation, is a hero to me, one that should be immensely proud of himself. I’m seeing this girl and this reminds me that I can still make a great partner, in my way, to her, much better so than all the self-centered jerks she’s had to deal with. A lot of women really need a partner and we might be able to step up to the plate if we learn to get ourselves together sufficiently. Religion can give meaning if you’re lucky enough to “get it” (I don’t). “Everything happens for a reason” is a powerful alternative. So you didn’t have the balls to kills yourself. Result: you’re now at an age where you can start to wisen up a little and find meaning, if you bust ass. And our sacrifices don’t have to be in vain. Victims of Vioxx and Roundup and all sorts of horrible meds/chemicals eventually got them banned. I know we’ll get our meds banned too, one warning/label at a time, one youtube video, article or lawsuit at a time, supporting that feels meaningful to me. Dedicate yourself to something meaningful and your life will gradually become worthwhile. If you feel bitter or desperate, you are blessed because it’s an emotion, and emotions can fuel us.
PFS or not, it’s a miracle that each of us was born: it took millions of ancestors to be born and survive and meet and mate with these exact other ancestors at the right time … to combine this one unique egg cell and sperm that brought you onto this earth). We were given one chance in a billion to be here and make our unique mark, we can’t give up because life just got hard.
My second tip is baby steps a.k.a. tiny habits (BJ Fogg) to get out of bed in the morning etc without having to try to motivate yourself. Learn how to get yourself together, one step at a time, and one day you may be proud of yourself.
P.S. If you really are psychotic, hear me out. Be careful going without antipsychotics. At the very least keep a stash nearby and remind yourself daily that you should be ready to take something when the symptoms (anxiety, paranoia) start to take over. It’s important not to let yourself be surprised or else you’ll be at a higher level of psychosis, forever. People fall into that trap all the time, including a friend of mine. It’s apparently hard to realize that you’re falling into a psychotic episode, so now he consults with me to be better able to judge what state he is in. (This is one of the many sources of meaning in my life btw.) You’ve had several PFS-like degradations, you owe it to yourself not to add another couple, like my friend. Always good to read a bit more than to learn the hard way.
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