The first few years were rough for me. PFS hit me literally 3 months before I got married. I’ve never told a soul this, you guys are the first. I was trying to save my hair because I thought it would somehow help me in my relationship with my then fiancé. She knew something was wrong before we married, but we both thought it would pass within a few months. She told me years later that she almost left me several times in that first year because she thought I wasn’t attracted to her. We will be married 19 years this year, and I would absolutely die for that woman. If there has ever been a woman that was good to her man, it’s mine.
I knew at some point that things just weren’t going to get better, so what I decided to do was be the best man I could be, despite my condition. Despite the sexual dysfunction, I poured my heart into my marriage, loved my wife unconditionally, did and still do everything I can for her, and put her first and before all of my own interests. We love each other more than we ever have because of that and then as children started coming along, I poured every ounce of energy I could into raising them and doing a good job with it. (as best I could of course)
Due to all of the time spent in taking my pfs frustration and pouring into my family’s lives, we have the title of being a roll model family at church and among family and friends. We often laugh amongst ourselves and say, if people only knew the things we’ve been through. If I could take it back, I’m sure I would, but I wouldn’t trade who this has made me for anything in this world.
I hope what I have said is not taken the wrong way. I understand that I am extremely fortunate that my marriage didn’t end like so many others have because of these horrible drugs.