Ways to Rebuild and Reconnect

General Discussion
#50

I’m thrilled to see Irwig’s latest study get major media attention. Our stories have all the markings of a made-for-TV tragedy. If more people hear our stories (like Kevin M.), I’m confident the tide will turn and people will sympathize with our situation. We’re experiencing every man’s worst fear. Everyone hates Big Pharma. Now that there’s research to back it up, the media will run with it. They already are. I’m sure the Merck actuaries and lawyers are spinning trying to figure how much a settlement will cost.

Sadly, I’m afraid my own mood is going from bad to worse. I stopped dating more than a decade ago due to fin sides. So I focused on trying to make a good career (as least I could enjoy that). The higher prestige jobs came with high stress, which my body couldn’t take. Plus, I never felt on top of my game dealing with all the health stuff. So now I’m in a stable but boring job that uses about a third of my talents. My peers are breaking out in big ways, and I’m in career purgatory.

It’s annoying because I’ve had counselors recommend I build a personal life. But how? Almost everyone my age has/is coupled up and starting families. Which for me is out of the question. I have no idea where I fit in. It’s not like it was in college, when everyone was friends with everyone. Men pretty much stop making friends after they get married; women tend to be more relational and branch out. I’m on good terms with some co-workers and a few relatives. But that’s about it.

I’ve been trying for the past few years to improve my situation, but I feel I’ve made no major progress. My life feels stalled. I feel like the man who isn’t there. I’ve resisted taking on a “victim” mentality, but honestly, I’m ready to cede I can’t solve this.

I started this thread thinking I could turn things around, but I’m losing faith I can build the life I want. I had some faith in diet/exercise/supplements. But as Irwig’s study pointed out, the mechanism by which Propecia affected brain/body chemistry isn’t understood. So all the supplements and diet changes are not addressing the core physiological problem, which remains a mystery.

Ever see Groundhog Day? Yeah, that’s pretty much my life.

#51

I’m very sorry to hear that things have taken a turn for you TX. Your posts actually inspired me a great deal in past months. I am in the Austin area, and would still be willing to meet up one of these days to discuss life, and anything, and everything. It has been a real roller coaster for all of us, and I feel amidst a pretty bad patch right now too. I’m here for ya brother.

#52

Sorry to hear mate, there is always other aspects to make you happy in life. You can either live life feeling shit or you can try and make sucess of it. People respect people who are sucessful and make something of themselves regardless. Personally i’m lucky i have an amazing girlfriend, though it’s hard(soft) with the sexual sides and mood swings. I mean shit i remember a month ago i was freaking out cause i had a slight recession in my hairline and i was drastic about it, now i look back and go how stupid was I! Propecia has made it 10 times worse along with all the sides. But it’s a lession learnt and hopefully we can all recover from this shit and live good lives. But i’m certainly not going to give up.

Stay positive. I’ve been doing Meditation last couple of days and I can tell you it makes a hell of a difference. It may sound lame to some of you but it really helps to reconnect yourself.

Feel free to chat with me on Skype.

#53

I’ve had the weekend to gather my thoughts, and I’m in a bit of a better place now. Compared to three years ago, I’m so much improved. The gains were really amazing, and I started to think I was on the cusp of repairing everything. Recently I’ve realized, despite my gains, I’m probably not going to get exactly what my 20-year old self wanted. So I basically told my 20-year old self to shut the hell up.

When I read the guys who are completely out of work, my job security and stable life are nothing to whine about. It’s just I was on the fast track for awhile, and things have cooled. In fact, my anger is a bit of a good sign: for several years I was too tired to be angry or frustrated. Now, I want more. I’m just struggling to find my way. I believe it was the great philosopher Fleetwood Mac who said: “You can go your own way.”

Time to get back to work…

#54

Reading this thread reminds me that I am not crazy. There is just simply no chemistry. Ive stopped about 3 months after being on this crap for numerous years. Yes I also felt my penis has shrunk about 30% approx. What a crazy life I am living. Has anyone tried getting back on the drug. Does it help?

#55

No it does not. You will be inhibiting androgens, neurosteroids and everything else it does when you are on it. A few guys have tried this and end up worse off.

#56

Yeah the only reason I would ever even consider going back on would be if scientists said we need to monitor exactly what happens to the body throughout the ordeal to figure out how to cure it. Then I might do it assuming it could get me cured and I would have constant help during the crash period and after until they developed said cure.

Otherwise no shot in hell.

#57

Ok another question has anyone who has been on this stuff for years like me seeing any improvement sexually or otherwise?

#58

Some guys have improved, but let me qualify what that means. For many, the mental side effects (fogginess, insomnia, panic attacks, lack of emotions) and fatigue subside over time as they focus on diet, exercise, supplementation, and other treatments. I say subside, because they never completely go away. The sexual sides seem more or less permanent. I’ve read few stories of sexual turnarounds, and few guys that say they are back 100% sexually. It appears this is where Propecia does irreparable damage.

In terms of energy and mental clarity, I’m miles from where I began. I have my wits. But I’ve kicked and clawed to get here. Some things I lost are…lost. There’s life after Propecia. It’s just a very different, sometimes confounding one.

#59

It sucks. But telling youself your not going to get better isn’t helping, your brains not going to lie to you and tell you your better.

#60

Damn… :-/

Just know that this hideous disease isn’t being ignored any longer. And there’s currently research into finding the root cause and ultimately a cure. Other than that, not much I can say.

#61

TX pm me. I’m down in Texas as well as a few others here I know. And like you my career has been totally fucked by this disease. 29 years old federal agent making $100k+ a year got.demoted due to the intense depression I had experienced from propecia and now I have a “law enforcement death sentence” known as being declared unfit for duty… Which even if this all gets sorted out in the near future with science I don’t know if.I’ll ever be able to.crack back into it. Sucks man… Took me 17 months to get through the intense panic attacks, depression and insomnia that finasteride gave me… I come out of my mental cave after all that stress and my job says nope can’t have your job back your demoted… Basically saying eat our shit. Goddamn shrinks who don’t know anything about PFS screwed me. Anyway if you wanna meet up sometime to.hang out I’d be up for it. I still try to date because I am luckily not totally impotent from this crap… Thou its different day to day.

#62

I’m happy to report, after some changes to my protocol, I’m feeling better. I started a mineral/b-vitamin supplement and taking zinc. I put on 4-5 lbs of muscle in the last two weeks. I’m attributing it to the minerals, at this point, as I didn’t do anything else differently (kept workouts the same). Also: I upped my antidepressant a bit. In the past this hasn’t helped (the sides would become bothersome). But this time, something’s different. My gut’s calmed down, and my energy levels are up. I’ve been dealing with IBS-like issues on and off. I suspect the progress has to do with some vitamin-mineral-medicine synergy. My working theory is my body didn’t have all the building-blocks it needed to make the right neurotransmitters. We’ll see how this goes.

I highly recommend the book Primal Body, Primal Mind. It’s chock-full of good diet and supplement ideas. I’d been doing many of the recommendations, but it helped me address some roadblocks.

Also helpful: I’ve been using different breathing techniques. I’ve been breathing from my diaphragm and also into my chest cavity. It’s reduced a lot of inner tension.

#63

Great news you are feeling better, well done. Can you advise dosages of supplements you are taking? Have you had any improvements on libido and sexual sides?

#64

Current supplements: Acetyl-l-carnitine, green tea extract, fish oil, co-enzymated B-vitamins, minerals + extra mg and zinc, garlic + plant stanols (for cholesterol), whey protein, MRI Black Powder (workout NO booster)
Past supplements that have been useful: cordyceps, vinpocetine, DLPA (dopamine precursor), 5-HTP (effective but unclear about long-term safety), glucosamine

#65

Do not take 5-htp everyday in can cause serotonin Syndrome no more than 2-3 a week.

#66

i am wondering, arent things like green tea and zinc 5ar inhibitors? i would be careful, i remember reading they were not good long term for our condition … still, it is great to hear you are feeling better man, good for you

#67

Yeah green tea is not good for PFS imo/ime…

#68

Lately, I’ve been thinking about where I fit in the world. This used to be a no-brainer, until fin hit, and suddenly the usual venues (bars, clubs, dates, parties, high-stress offices) didn’t pan out. So for awhile I just stood back, watching the world–not being a full participant. So here’s what I’ve realized. Most of our lives, we try to figure out what we want to be. But I think it’s better to ask: where do I want to be? As in a real, physical place. What I’ve thought most about is what environment is best for me right now. Maybe it’s our animal nature, but each of us functions better in certain environments than others.

The thing is, most of us don’t fully enjoy the things we used to. We’re tired. Withdrawn. Isolated. Yet there are still many places where I do feel comfortable, shine, and stand out. While I don’t always feel passion like I did, there’s still a spark.

To see my future, I’ve had to look hard at my past. Before fin, what things did you excel at? Who did you enjoy being around? What did people see in you? As I look back, what I enjoyed most, I still do. Writing. Conversation. Traveling. Working out. Religious services. Yes, a number of things have dropped off the list: dating (sadly), parties, concerts where I have to stand for a long time, bars, etc. But when I look at my goals, I don’t think they’ve shifted much from 10 years ago. And when friends and co-workers describe me, I hear the same things I’ve heard all my life. So I haven’t changed that much.

What I keep going back to is this: our minds, memories, and spirit are what will keep us going. A lot of us feel like echoes of our former selves. Pay attention to that echo. Listen to it. It’s still you. The more I stay anchored in that identity, the more I’m able to forge ahead with my plans. I know it’s incredibly hard to go out when you feel tired, disconnected, like a blank, empty vessel. I get stuck too. I don’t follow my advice every day. For me, it’s mind over matter. I have to reason myself to do things even if I don’t feel like doing them.

The year I see ahead has me in a lot of same places I imagined I would be. I hate cliches, but the Woody Allen trope that 90% of life is showing up is kinda true.

#69

I’m glad that you find some satifaction in life still Txop. I don’t feel the same way, mentally I am not the same person I was before. I have enormous anxiety, 1/10 the sense of humor I had before, and an extremely negative outlook on things.