I am going to try another solid month of diet, exercise, and sleep, and not take Clomid at this point. It’s difficult to stay as robotic as I believe I need to be to see results (and I have in the past), but it’s the safest option. The research on Clomid seems mixed. I don’t want to fuck myself up further, but I’m in a bad spot as it is. I have very little sensitivity, and the anhedonia is rough. My endo finally got back to me a full week after she said she would (although it was through her nurse, so I didn’t even have the privilege of talking to the doctor). She said she talked to other Endos, and said they had heard of post finasteride syndrome, and that it was unusual that it hadn’t resolved after 30 days (LOL). So she knows nothing, and I’m out the money and time (3 month wait!!) to see her. Great system. Now it’s a question of whether I even go back to the Urologist for the follow up ($100 co-pay!) and have him tell me he doesn’t know jack shit. I’ve been dealing with this for almost 4 years. At this point I know more than the doctors. And unlike them, I am interested in a solution.
I’ve also had terrible luck with doctors. Multiple times they’ve lost blood tests, claimed that my saliva testosterone test was useless, have been unable to tell me what things will cost, and delayed appointments for months out. The US medical system is broken. I have insurance (not great insurance, but decent), and it barely does anything. And the doctors don’t listen, the staffs have been completely incompetent, and it’s a total joke.
I think the best thing I can do is return to what has worked before: complete commitment to diet and exercise. The problem is, I’m moving in with my girlfriend (our sex life has cratered, and since we hang out often it cuts into my time to get to the gym, which further hurts it) and that will be tough. But at least I know that working out isn’t going to give me liver cancer.
Fuck doctors, fuck Merck, and fuck “the system.”
I still live my life, but sex has been ruined for a while. It’s pretty depressing, and the ball ache is constant if I don’t drink pomegranate juice (I don’t remember what that does exactly, my memory isn’t great now, but it directly helps ball ache).