Haha I know my response got a bit wild and dramatic there. Putting the whole thing into words is my own way of coping with it. But yeah, totally with you man!
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Just jumping on this thread to post a thought. It just hit me now.
I actually love myself less. That’s basically it. I’ve tried to be accepting and all that but fuck it, I don’t like who I am as much as I used to. I feel pathetic and useless most of the time. I used to really, really love myself but now I find no reason to. Wise people say that everyone has value but sometimes it feels like I don’t. What if being strong and attractive really is the purpose of life? It feels like it a lot of the time.
Sometimes I don’t even want peace and love. I just want to be sad and miserable. If life is going to screw with me this much, shouldn’t I at least be entitled to feel bad about it? I’m done smelling the roses. I’m a tired, useless prick and that’s just who I am. I can barely muster the courage to talk to girls lately. I don’t even want to think about sex. If I’m going to be a fat, exhausted blob, how can anyone take that away from me? Maybe I am cursed and that’s just how it is.
I dunno. Sorry to be a downer but that’s just how I feel. Meh.
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I was a human！
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When you’re suffering, nostalgia is pain.
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I just want to sleep，累了
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I’ve thought this same thing many times
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I’m in regret and time travel 24/7
minus 12 hours staying in bed, trying to sleep and think about nothing.
The present isn’t existing for me. I only live in the past. Now I m analysing all that I have made wrong. After all the biggest mistake was to take the pills. And all the absolutely creazzy coincidences and thoughtlessness leading into the catastrophe.
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