I understand what you feel like. I’ve been in your situation for two years now. While I understand that I could’ve been hit with much more scary symptoms — genital numbness and ED are very much in the way of leading a normal and fulfilling life, especially on the social/intimate/romantic front. It’s very frustrating not being able to really enjoy masturbation and it gets lonely after a while. Most of my friends are couples at this point in my life. My ex has moved on and found a new partner a few months ago. I would love to move on as well but it’s hard to feel like your forced to stand and watch on the outside of it all because you were hit with chronic side effects from a drug. To be told that it’s between your ears on top of that is injustice. It’s certainly hard to try and not be bitter about this situation indeed.
We can learn our lessons from the past but we can’t change it. So it is best not to linger and look forward to opportunities and solutions.
The best advice I can give you is to not blame yourself.
It is not your fault that the relevant government agencies have failed to thoroughly test and accurately assess the safety profile of this drug before releasing it on the market. It is not your fault that doctors and other providers of this drug are misinformed and — with or without intent — falsely advertise the drug as safe. It is not your fault that we basically live in a morally corrupt capitalist society where pharmaceutical companies are perfectly willing to manufacture and trade in drugs with risky profiles that they know have not been thoroughly investigated, as long as they can keep the machine churning. Just reading about the history of finasteride says enough about the absolute naivety that these pharmaceutical behemoths are willing to operate on, in my opinion.
On top of that, as average people of the general public we are urged to trust in medical professionals and the world of modern medicine. We are told that they are our safekeepers and differentiators of what constitutes quackery and what is sensible. We are told that endocrinologists are specialists in medical practice based on hormonal biochemistry. We are told constantly that advances in the medical world are greater than ever before and made to believe that the world of modern medicine knows just about everything there is to know about the human body.
But you were never told that they simply don’t know how libido, erections, and genital sensation actually work (at least from a neurological perspective). There are incredible technological advances in gene editing but truthfully we don’t have superficial knowledge of the most basic functions of the human body.
TLDR it’s perfectly understandable that you believed in this drug and the ones who promoted it. You didn’t abuse the drug, or used an excessive dosage, or anything. It is nobody’s first line expectation that medical professionals might be willing to hurt you for your money. This simply isn’t on you. Stop blaming yourself.
or you just wanted to express your thought?