suicide

I can relate.

My peers all believe that I think I have a syndrome. Makes for a pretty isolated existence.

I confronted my own mother with it recently when I asked her if she actually believed me, and the response I got was that “the doctors couldn’t find anything”. I love her very much, and she me, but it attests to the utter unbelievability of what we’re going through. Not even my own mother believes me, even though she is very supportive nonetheless.

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It’s no wonder we can’t convince drs etc when those that have known us most if not all of our lives dispute our claims even though we’ve changed in every way. The gratvity of it all is possibility what tips the scales the other way. I.e. it’s almost too far fetched, how could something like this happen and go unchecked

I tell anyone and everyone, one or two do believe while most don’t. One thing is for sure when it does come out those people will connect it back to me. I’ll go from a loon loser to someone that they’ll remember even admire who was cut down by such a horrible drug and who did his utmost to inform and deter others while also trying to survive it’s ravages

My endeavours may even stop someone taking this.

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It’s not surprising “normal people” won’t believe us.

You need a high IQ to be able to think about complex and abstract things. We’ve read about depression a lot hence people believe in it.

But ask any of those people what depression actually is and they’ll most likely say that it’s a “lack or serotonin” or something similar. Something that has been disproven many times.

But it’s an easy enough explanation that the average person can “understand” it, although they don’t really understand anything.

Now try to explain something novel, like PFS, without having an easy explanation. It’s going to be impossible, unless they’ve experienced something similar themselves.

The docs on the other hand should know better, their denial is inexcusable…

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I feel like doctors don’t think like engineers. If I encountered a system that malfunctioned symptomatic of a missing element and found the element present, I’d investigate why the element wasn’t acting properly on its target. Doctors on the other hand just say ‘the element’s there so it must not be malfunctioning’. At least doctors I’ve dealt with.

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I’m now more than a year in with this shit!!! No one believes me that this is not a depression. No one believes in the epigenetic changes an endocrine disruptor like finasteride bangs in the whole DNA regulation downstream.

I have been a handsome funny guy one year ago. Looking and behaving twenty years younger as an end fifty. I have been so fit. I had definitely no health problems, without three depressed periods in my life. And an enlarged, but still good functioning prostate.

After one year with pfs I look like an 80 yo man. My muscles atrophy. I have problems with my joints, my back, it twitches at every corner now.

My eyes are dry and my eyebags black and full of wreckles. I have the fitness of a 90 old. Unsure to walk the stairs down. Shortness of breath.

People who didn’t see me for a year look scared on my zombified face.

I’m so lobotomized and deep depressed now that committing suicide would feel like freedom from a permanent torture chamber. I’m so tired of that all, but I m to weak for the last consequence.

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@Exsexgod
You copied my diary with what you wrote. Merck has stolen our senior years, our very lives. Jim

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Perfectly framed how this is for some. Anyone know who he is?

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It’s the sad story of @Titan1. He released it on march 2 at his member story. It’s a really hard story of my live for a 35 yo guy. I could ki… all the ones designing this murder medication.

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I’d also add to your words that emotional suffering and physical pain are similar to our brains. No wonder some people want euthanasia.

I’m not even positive we all have PFS. Some of us may have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that was triggered by a virus like EBV. The fact that we were taking finasteride at the time could be a coincidence. I honestly don’t know. In that case there is no cure for the debilitating fatigue although lifestyle changes can help mitigate the symptoms.

A really funny comment. Most victims between 19 and 39 yo. Most victims have been regular gym visitors with a fantastic health and a muscular body. Non of their stories I ever read tells of alcohol abuse, overweight, or and unhealthy Livestyle. All have been sexual active and driven by androgens to live their lifes with the normal male agressivity. No one here have had adrenal fatigue before. The only thing, many of us have a story of depression before poisoned by finasteride.

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In the wake of the apparent suicide of Naomi Judd, I found this article discussing the stigma of the act. Excerpt:

  • “…It is more correct nowadays to refer to individuals as having completed suicide rather than having committed suicide. What’s the difference? The former notation indicates that suicide is usually a contemplative event as opposed to an impulsive act. Most individuals who complete suicide have thought about it over a period of time, once again providing clinicians and others an opportunity to intervene. Warning signs – verbally or behaviorally – precede most suicides. Only when those signs are not recognized or well-hidden does it seem like the suicide was sudden or a shock…” *

Link:

I added this article to the thread because recently I’ve read an increasing number of posts indicating a desire to end the battle. (I know I’ve heard that quiet whisper…)

May this be helpful to someone. Jim

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There ARE effective alternatives to SSRIs. Microdosing, stimulants, cerebrolysin/cortexin, creatine, even TRT. I know because I use them all

I couldn’t lift my head yesterday, the bones are disintegrating it feels like a screw driver has been pushed into the brain through the top of my spine I had my head held while it was lowered on to pillow because the muscles have collapsed. The pain is beyond extreme. I’ve had tears this morning at how far this disease has pushed me. I feel tortured beyond. My bowel has stopped working, I can’t walk, get dressed, brush my teeth. Disconnected more than ever!! It’s stacking up by the day, accelerating. So much to live for but not like this. An ordeal no human being should be subjected too. I held off doing a will as it feels like an acceptance but it now feels like it’s time to do it. I rang a solicitor last week but put the phone down but its going to get done next week there is no escape. Not when it’s this far gone. My estranged wife is falling apart and I can’t continue to inflict this upon her.

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Yes Jim…

it’s more than a quiet whisper! We are three old men a long way on the other side of an enjoyable life.

I have had many women, was cheated with other men so often, have had so many chaos in my life, but everything got a happy ending. But now my last relationship ended with taking finasteride gaslighted by the leaflet in a suicidal Desaster for me and pharma killing machine haven’t had mercy with my life. Everything is brocken, chemical castration is not fair.

Legal Lobotomy and Castration in a so called western human right world for basic profit instincts was out of my thoughts.

Pharma war machine tortures people for lifetime.

Some like Laz a strong fighter for decades, Jim fought for years, maybe I’m weak, maybe the unbelievable killing jokes and unbelievable mistakes over the last years, wich brought me here, broke me. I’m going to post the change of my face over a year and you’ll cry. Nothing is fake! I’m destroyed mental, sexual and physical.

Now we just try to survive the day. So there are strange thoughts…

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Dear Ray…

it’s not fair. It’s absolutely not fair to see you suffer decades for pharma share holders intestine massage with the profit from a wonder drug. It’s not fair!

The state getting helpless is the worst experience. I have it not so strange physical damage, whenever my muscles, joints and bents atrophy away, but mentally I’m totally lobotomized, I need support by a supervisor, because I’m unable for online banking or pay a bill to the state of a court trail. Nothing left!

Do you have support? A nursing service, or a household supporter. It’s not fine, but I need it too.

I made my will last summer two months after my crash. I gave all the access to my account and my personal estate to the mother of my daughter and my supervisor to support her. My rented house I live from is managed by a real estate manager. Even all the steps after life organized by a specialized consultant.

You Merck and FDA fu…s! Generica retailer! You bring unbelievable pain over thousands of people and their families.

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@Exsexgod well done you had the foresight to put things in place I’m stupidly not as I find it too difficult to accept my state enough to have carers in doing basic stuff on my behalf. I see my estranged wife but it’s extremely tough on her

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Ohh god, what a fucking fight, day by day!

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The fight is nearly over, my friend. I see the end is in sight… Jim
@Exsexgod

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