Don’t think about the past. You’ll go crazy😹
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Now I try to think that I was born ED, mentally retarded, huh.It feels better,
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Hope for you all, research gets the key mechanism between AR in the cell membrane in different tissues and it’s arousal / androgen pathway and the feedback mechanism to the gen regulation of AR coding gens. And what for the devil is altered in feedback mechanism and gen regulation in us fucking predisposed. And hope one solution takes it all from dick to brain.
Just hoping…
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Now I try to think that I was born ED, mentally retarded, huh.It feels better
Best therapy ever!!!
Yes, but It’s so worse, to cut up a man’s cock. All the Merck’s and pharma producer s know that for more than 20 years.
The joy of enjoying every single day was my way to live. Hope to re learn it just to enjoy a little walk through a park and enjoy a cake in the castle cafe.
It’s a lie…
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I’ve been castrated without anger.I’m going to make a video on “YouTube in China”.We can do very little
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He’s lucky he has a somewhat supportive woman by his side.
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The package leaflet from Finasterid for benign prostatic hyperplasia lies. ED can rest after quitting the drug. Ok you think of two weeks never of lifelong persistenting damage. Dr Pfleger Pharma your tricky leaflet killed my live.
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Yesterday was a great day to outlive someone.
I have so many people to outlive. I live in spite.
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That’s the way, fuck it, lose the shackles; the weights, the concrete boots, the everything that pulls us down including the spite which is a weight on its own. Try to grow with what u have left at the worst u go down fighting, at the best a change in the way you/we approach this mentally may actually bring about changes n plasticity and repair to the brain. You have fighting spirit despite having an elevator drop on your head This chemically induced sorrow and beaten mentality has took enough years of my life and yours too. Time to step out of the this God will keep us on the right path if we faulter. The physical sides are now as bad es ever but!!! There is more strength in this group than we know. I’m fed up of with being at the mercy of this damn disease
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This topic from @holyhead on April 2016 seems to be closed by the best post ever by @LazarusRy.
Nothing to say anymore.
We have spent so many years to this chemical induced pain in our souls. Now it’s time to look forward from that we have left.
But give me time. I can’t fight. Give me and all the other depressed more strength to fight. What have I done to me with this fucking drug
I have been waiting now 6 months for a mind change and let the past be the past. But I think I need more time to fight for this what have been left to me. There is a child I have to fight for, yes.
But my entire life is pain now, my and the memory of all who know me and my view to my own past is destroyed, the picture of a sunny boy is changed to a sick old bum and my future promise me more pain and it’s unbelievable hard to fight for a future full of anhedonia and full of pain.
No more sex, never a new fiancee, no partner, no friends, no hiking through the mountains, no more cycle tours, no more swimming across a lake or the sea with muscle atrophy, no more fun, no more fun for parties, meetings, holy day tours, ons, red light, Flirts, the own Future, for standing up for a lucky day …
Everything to much for me. U just want to stay in my bed and do nothing. Meeting no one anymore.
Just fighting for the basic survive.
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At night, I will be sober and calm, but I still want to commit suicide. It seems that I end my life voluntarily. If I die, it must be a night.
Excuse me I’m so negativ. I want what you wrote in your very very great post will come over me!! Over the entire community.
It was the greatest post ever. I’ll never forget to get there. Dear @LazarusRy
@Exsexgod thanks my friend I’m also stuck in the negative thoughts, the extreme anxiety which have me gripped. I sat in the house all morning hoping for an end and getting worse as I was capitulating doing nothing but ruminating… I looked at things I had to do, my chores and some other things that I 1nce enjoyed. I decided not to sit any longer scrolling the net and this forum but got off my arse had a cold shower looked at the wreck of a man in the mirror applied the cream to my ravaged face and body. I got in the car and came to the gym I’m often close to tears with the muscle and bone pain but I push through it and guess what it takes the edge off. I’ll now go home cook something think of my son and happier times then I’ll do some housework and think of happier times ahead that there WILL BE. I may even go for a walk and take in the scenery after a while the numbness subsides a little and the reality is not as bad as the fear. Even smiling and saying hello to a complete stranger can make u feel part of society . Its the people you know that cause the fear and the catastrophic social phobia I’m years in and I’m actually pleased that I’m still alive (for the 1st time)despite this unabated torture. Being a statistic is a terrible legacy and no good to anyone. Let’s stand up for ourselves, and those poor helpless desperate guys/warriors who took their own lives. @baitongWu it’s the neurosteriods not reality that is bringing on the suicidal thoughts . Know this and distract your mind with new things. As said before your a hero to your children no matter what u think and feel. God sees our suffering. When our natural time comes (not via suicide) we will be closer to him. Extreme suffering is linked to godliness. Believe he is with you/all of us.
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It’s the close past that really kills me. My fiancee said let’s have a future together, as a family. I denied and she walked her own way with another guy. But I was the one, she came back to me and I had already 
poisoned me, shot my health and shot my mind and cut my cock. And now she lives our great future, without me. And I have had the great chance for a wonderful life.
It was chemical euthanasia of my live. Not done by Merck, not done by the criminal urologist who gave me the dangerous poison just to try, it was my mistake my self harming behavior taking a drug with such a horrible package leaflet already and not for 5 min check the internet. This is my downward spiral. I can’t forgive me 
And now the life I denied is at its best and my insane life on my own is a nightmare. It’s a basic survive only. That’s the second downward spiral. I can’t stopp to compare.
And than I remember, when everything was wrong after a great depression in 1999 I traveled to Amsterdam and fucked and drugged around. Nothing to loose and I felt like newborn after the first night in the streets and canals if Amsterdam. And having no one to talk I entered a nice club and felt like Casanova himself.
And in our days fun and new contacts are generated by tinder, loovo and joyclub
That’s the third downward spiral, I lost my manhood forever. Unbelievable by a FDA and every heath authority proved legal prescribed drug!
So now nothing left. Its a robot like life. And I wait for a sudden end too.
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The possible upward spiral is a natural recovery with time. People who have horrible diseases never recover by living on past regrets and eating pizza staring at a wall. They fight and beat the odds. You cannot feel any worse so what do you have to lose
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I put that to a new thread:
So what’s a possible upwards spiral??
Fighting for an titan penis inlay and get a pornstar…
Joining a spiritual awakening community to have a new sense of life.
Entering a hindu temple, chanting PFS away.
Writing the lovestory the PFS man and the PSSD woman.
Traveling around the world by ship or trans world ticket. Even in Mogadischu or Kabul nothing to loose…
Having sarcasm is a good sign
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Everytime I m in touch with other PFS, there is sadness, hope, sex pics from the former me, a new protocol every day, pics from body wastage, Mer…multiple atomic overkill thoughts, fatalism but sarcasm is the 
on the 
I understand I really do because I’m in it too. Every single word you say I have experience of but u have to try to believe the old u will return one day. Going over your losses every minute even every second of the day would send anyone insane and will be exasperating everything. Everyone disappeared from life because of me not being able to step out of pfs
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Yes I think the whole forum know me as the ovature of the dying swan. And you as the rock fighting 20 years against the disease.
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