suicide

I hear you man. I was getting better in the summer when doing tribulus cycle but of course ist didnt last. Its getting really scary because what going to happen after there no more muscle left to waste?

Yeah I hear you and I know we talked but this is a suicide thread. For people who I assume are suicidal. I’ve had a shit life too that never really got off the ground. Severe OCD/anxiety. depression, Crohn’s from Accutane, destroyed from Cipro, C-diff from another antibiotic, addiction to opiates and benzos used to the treat pain and anxiety, blah, blah, blah. A life destroyed by mental illness and pharmaceuticals (mixed with some bad choices). But none of it compares to the nueroendocrine nightmare of PSSD. I was still a human then. Now I’m chemically lobotomized and castrated. Killed yet still alive. There is NOTHING worse than the worst of this syndrome. Suicide was always a thought with all that other shit but now it’s a must. I’m dead anyway I just have to end it physically.
I wish I had died of the C-diff or a heroin overdose. Now I spend most days looking at stuff I used to like desperately trying to spark something that is gone, talking with other drug damaged people, looking at a suicide forum, and trying to imagine what swallowing that poison is going to be like. Then thinking about my mother’s reaction to hearing about my suicide even though she knows it’s coming. Hearing her crying and praying all the time. But I have no emotions so I don’t really FEEL any way about any of this. Just logically disturbed.
So yes my past problems felt bad, even suicidally at times. But they FELT. Know I feel nothing emotionally or physically. An emotionless, libidoless, sleepless zombie with a numb shrunken dick. Death is to be welcomed. This can’t be compared to any human problem because it’s inhuman torture.
Sorry for the rant this is after all a suicide thread.

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I’m really sorry to hear that. However, if there was any doubt in my mind some of the damage done to some, if not all of us here is epigenetic in nature, there’s no doubt now.

Epigenetic means changes to your genetic from outside of your DNA. It refers to spontaneous modifications made on how your DNA is expressed. “a change in phenotype without a change in genotype” to quote the article below.

If and when they’ll come up with a drug to reverse those changes, it should reset our DNA to how it was at the moment of conception. This means our DNA should forget all bad, but also all good experiences that have been written on it. All notes taken would be erased.

I know such a drug exist, because it’s been tested on mice with success in regards to removing epigenetic markers. Is it safe for humans ? Will it cause secondary effects ? I can’t answer any of that nor do I even know what was used and if it killed the mice or not. However, it shows that science is working on it.

But I think it’s fair to assume that if you made drastic changes in your diet and exercise and that made epigenetic changes in your body, other changes in your lifestyle would equally make changes.

The only thing I have now is Butyrate and Beta- HydroxyButyrate as potential gene demethylators. And take that with 2 grains of salt rather than one, it’s just a theory. Doing some cardio vascular activities induces Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor and can methylate or de-methylate the genetic code.

More here: Success Stories Compilation

Read the thread starting on sept 5th 2019. (all that thread is good as it discusses solutions instead of stating there’s nothing that can be done)

Finally, I suggest you watch this TEDx video about epigenetic changes. The guy doing the talk was bedridden with an epigenetic disease 8 years ago and what he says should give you hope in my opinion. It did to me !

Note how he’s balding (shaved the rest) and how skinny he is. I actually look like that after the 0 carbs diet and the fasts. I wonder what was his disease and what changes he made to alter his epigenetic markers. By how he looks, I wouldn’t be surprised he fasted, did 0 carbs diet or both. But it could also be the result of hid sickness, who knows ? (well, he does…)

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Thanks for your support. I appreciate.

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@jrums01 I’m really sorry to hear all that you’re going thru.

I’ve had thoughts of suicide before as well, but I don’t think my problem are as severe as yours. Can you at least seek a professional before you say decide suicide. It’s so permanent.

Have you tried TRT or something else, if you’re suicidal, you might as well try whatever treatments there are before you call it quits in life.

I wish I could give you a better answer and help you thru it, but I know how difficult this is as well and I’ve been through every emotion possible as well.

An emotionless, libidoless, sleepless zombie with a numb shrunken dick…but with hands, legs and a brain. A person who still has so much potential to do good in this world.

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@joey10 so your problems were from over training that crashed your endochrine system. I didn’t even know what was possible, I was going to work out hard, but now I will take it easy.

I know when my T levels are I’m okay. What’s your hormone profile look like?

It’s possible this happened to me after people recommended working out. Did it for 2 days and my condition significantly worsened, perhaps it was the rise in Testosterone.

actually I read that people with real pfs have low dht, but elevated e2…low dht and low e2 is “normal”

I initially had high E2 and normal range DHT, but after being on TRT it seems like my E2 has lowered.

Well if your dopamine is killed you become more disabled than a person in a weelchair in my opinion. Your ability to have a drive/motivation literally gets shot. And with the worst PSSD anhedonia cases this is exactly what happens, people not able to leave the bed, laying there in some kind of cataconic state. You say ‘‘with a brain’’, but how much of the brain is left when the motor of drive is shot? What kind of good can you do if you are not able to leave the bed anymore or can’t bring up the motivation anymore to even go to the toilet?

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I don’t shit my pants save for when I have diarrhea like rn, but this is me with underlying severe ADHD plus severe insomnia from PFS.

I think youre absolutely bang on. For me there is no one behind the wheel upstairs and the engine has ground to a halt. At this rate the worst is yet to come, i.e. dying on the street because of my utter lack of ability to even take of myself let alone be able to work and find a living wage/source of income in this hell world timeline.

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This treat is the scariest thing i have ever seen by far

haha, it’s funny you say that with that profile picture of yours. Do you know what that picture is based on?

That scarf is unforgettable

What is it?

The secret cure of PFS :wink:

You’re worse than Merck if you don’t spill it then

Oh, it’s that incel who blew his brains out on 4chan. I am sure those pieces of brain matter stuck to the dry wall would still be methylated.

Not only does it make you feel better, I believe that it is the cornerstone to my recovery.