Suicidal. Advice please

General Discussion
#1

Please someone tell me this gets easier.

After my crash things have gotten worse. I’m going to lose my job soon, and most likely my girlfriend who I planned to marry mid next year.

I feel my second crash is one I’m just not coming back from. I’m breaking down everyday. I go to work, put on a brave face, everyone thinks I’m tired or sick. I brush it off as just a “bit tired” (which is a no no in my line of work). I see my gf for a bit after, trying my best to put on a happy and excited face when I feel absolutely nothing. Dead inside. No libido. No motivation. No drive. Just my head ripping apart from the inside out.

I then get home, close my door, and break down.

Everyday for the past two weeks since my second crash.

I’m losing my mind. Panic attacks, depression, anhedonia and impotence. After just one pill. My one recovery for nearly a month gave me hope until I totally crashed again 2 weeks ago. I didn’t know it was possible to experience pain like this.

Please someone tell me it gets easier. Or that a recovery could happen. My hormones are normal so I know it’s full-blown pfs. I’m so alone right now in this pain. I’m taking bupriopion each day, but it doesn’t do much.

I feel like ending it everyday. Please someone help.

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#2

It gets easier, and everyday we are getting closer to a solution. I tell you this after having PFS since 2006. It’s been a long, horrible horrible and painful road, but there is a light. For me, I’m on hCG, and hoping that protocol works (it’s been positive so far).

Other things that have helped me have been the antidepressant Wellbutrin, which took a couple of weeks to work, but made a difference I could feel.

Things do improve as t8me goes on and we adjust. As for your job, I’ve been through a few because of this condition, and learned to adjust. As for your girlfriend, I’m sorry, but as men, we have advantages, and as you get older, you’ll have your pick of the bunch. Besides, you want one who’ll stay with you through thick and thin, not like the one I had who walked away, even before PFS.

Please stay strong. There is a solution coming for us, and the younger you are, the more life you have to live and enjoy it. I’m 52, and still have hope in a cure, and to live some good years before it’s over.

The worst, darkest days of PFS are indeed bad. I’ve had several crashes, some before I really knew what PFS was. I had no idea what was happening. Now we know those periods pass, and we level out, and some of us respond better to some “treatments”, and you should really consider focusing on some, and to know you have dozens of brothers here who have lived and survived through the same thing you are going through right now.

Stay strong and know we will survive, and God willing, one day be cured. We are here for you and will get through this condition together.

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#3

I never ever thought that oppressive shut-in feeling would ever go away and the searing headache would be with me forever. My ‘crime’ was 8 pills of finasteride in 2018 and my life was destroyed. Or so I thought…

I can promise it gets easier. Or rather, it did for me and I was CONVINCED it wouldn’t, that nothing would shift it.

No matter how dark things got I kept trying things, or just got through the days. It did improve, has and (in ups and downs) continues to.

I have no doubt this is a horrifically complicated condition but I have also got no doubt it can be cured. Hell you’ve even had a month-long recovery! You know in some sense therefore your body has some ability to adjust - it’s good you’ve had that, get some strength from it.

It’s a tough sentence to deal with and a scary situation - but we’re all SUCH strong people coping with what we do. I draw a lot of my own strength from Axo, from that guy who did a CCNA in PFS… plenty of heroes around here who cope and SO many say time passing improves so much.

When you get hobbies and something like sleep back you can see your way to coping, hold out for that, and hold out for the various scientific or experimental approaches looking to get you better - even if you don’t want to try those (and I’d totally understand that) there’s lots of exploration and work going on all over the place.

And stick around for the day Merck pays for this too.

Will be sending you thoughts over there.

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#4

As others have said man it does change and things get easier… I know somewhat of the feelings you’re going thru and it drives you to wanting to go to this direction but don’t… it does get better with time and that’s the biggest bitch… try keeping you’re mind focused on things that help and interest you aside, mine was gaming and relaxing. And then you’ll prob feel a little better and slowly you’ll start to notice a change where your doing better and not thinking that way even if things are grim but that’s a true test of strength man.

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#5

Things get better. You have to slowly realize what makes you better and what makes you worse. 100% cut out what makes you worse. Focus heavily on lifestyle factors and certain foods.

#6

I’ve been where you are. Most of us probably have. Didn’t think it could ever get better, or that a cure was possible.

Read my post on recovery: My official post on my recovery

Perhaps you can turn this thing around and only have messed up a few months of your life.

You need to get your head straight first. Hang in there. Never give up.