Looking at your improvements from day 4 they are really good overall. At that rate you will be feeling much, much better in a month. Just keep your stress down, sleep as much as you can and don’t do anything to make things worse. Your body is trying to rebalance itself right now, allow it to do its job. Your body is smarter than you so don’t get in its way right now just help it through rest. Meditate to help calm your mind don’t create more anxiety.
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I will completely utterly destroy this PFS shit!! I didnt came this far in life to be fucked by a quarter of a pill! Thanks for the words man they mean the world to me right now! <3
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You see THAT’S more like it! Improvements like that, coming that quick are a very very good sign. Penis stuff does sometimes tend to be the last thing, so I wouldn’t sweat it yet.
Very good news to hear. 
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I believe you will be beat PFS. You’re an intelligent man. Now is the time to be cool and let your body be the smart one. You will have plenty of time in the future for protocols. I look forward to reading about your recovery. 
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Guys could you allow me please to write private messages? Would really like to talk to 1-2 users more. Thanks, appreciate it!
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This newbiestatus is annoying af. Literally taking everyone from here to chat somewhere else is just pretty weird.
Update:
- morning wood 90% prefin
- 0 brain to dick connection, or maybe like 5%, no way to get an errection
- head feels like hit by 10 bricks in the morning for the first hour then lifts
- brainfog is less
- headpressure is still there, feel the whole time like burning in my “back” brain
- breast tenderness is lowering, muscle feeling is slightly coming back
- started to feel my backbain again
- mood is pretty good throughout the day
- extremely tired now at around 6pm, literally breaking down typing this
- pissed af cuz girl traveled half country to see me, talked to her for an hour and cant even go out get wasted and have a fun time. Spending time at home hiding what a fkin joke this is
- frequent urination stopped
- sweats still happening during the day, broke out in a huge sweat in the supermarket today (without anxiety)
- hunger is better and taste is better (almost to a degree that its hard not to eat shitfood)
- hit the gym today and felt pretty good during it, but almost nauseous after every single set but still felt good. Muscles have some feel to it but i cant even get the blood rushing, no pump achieveable…
- still fasting for like 14-18h every day for now, and repleneshing then with fruits greens, and bought asparagus today first time in my life to add that too lol, added some proteinpowder aswell
- still stuffing a lot of adrenal supps, k2, d3, garlic, distel into me and some gaba brain stuff before bed combined with melantonin (if i get to bed early I will try to leave melantonin out, but idk yet…) slept tonight for like 5 h without waking up (with melantonin), but couldnt fall asleep for shits yesterday
- heartrace still strong at night in bed
- I started smelling like shit, literally had shower yesterday night and today morning was disgusting,but i guess thats actually good lol
- hand shakiness from time to time
- head still hot…
- libido def was strong during gym, but ye im still completely disabled when it comes to using it…
1liter greens and shiet
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That’s a quicker improvement than many! Long may it continue. The morning wood thing is a super great sign afaik.
Just be aware that improvements tend to come in ups and downs, so if you have a downswing of a few days or weeks don’t sweat it, that’s actually featured in most of the recoveries I’ve read.
Jeez, I mean even reading your posts you sound much more “whole.”
Thoroughly stoked for you friend.
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You will be fine in few weeks, you are not like us. Happy for you man!
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Ye it’s hilariously funny how one can actually adapt to feeling this bad XD
Especially the eunuch thing, I’m not even panicking about it right now LOL. But I’m still hardcore beliving that it WILL get better. I’d even say I’m WAY less paranoid and stressed then prefin, since I’m trying really hard to give my body the ultimate chill/peace. If it stays for 3 months I will probably in a very bad state, but for now I’m like… it’s like a phase of acceptance and I don’t want to think that far ahead. Just being as healthy as I can for every single day right now, babysteps it is.
The thing with the girl makes me rage inside, and I really have a hard time to not get out for some wine with her and just enjoy the evening, but I KNOW this is bad and I won’t do it. (I can fake any behaviour no matter how bad I feel…;/xd) But on the same time I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be the last time her visiting me in this lifetime XDDDD fuck. W/e.
This devastating experience made me appreciate absolutely everything in life so if I get out of this I will be amazing man I’m telling you. I can look at my fkin dirty shoes and think YES FKIN DAMMIT I GOT EVEN SHOES MAN xD. As said before somewhere earlier I noticed that when I go overboard with extreme depressive thoughts, fructose seem to help tremendously, so it’s definitely an adrenal issue in this whole thing too. I’m forcing my Test and androgenshiet up while pushing hard in the gym and eating completely antiestrogenic(breasttenderness and cuddlefeeling def are too high estrg). I will try a 3 day fast after feeling better for stemcell boost, but I dont wanna fuck with my body while it’s still in this stressfull state. So maybe in 2weeks. I didn’t want to go with the tribulus people seem to like here, just bought that asparagus and will keep throwing in some of these into the blender. Protodioscin COME AT ME and fix my dikk bicz xd
And as addition, I’m literally scared of going to bed by now because of this extreme headpain I experience after waking up. It’s literally the worst pain I’ve had ever experienced in my life and I’m alrdy afraid of tomorrow morning xD. Same time I like to w8 for the next day to get better, cuz I definitely will!
Cuz if my feeling for pain is slowly comming back, it should mean my feel for my dick should appear one day too slightly… at least thats my take OR MY HOPE LOL xd
I’m getting better, but bottomside is still almost 0 and I’m getting REALLY angry with this whole shit. I’ve sunned my balls today for like 20min and idk if its testboost from this or so but IM SO FKIN ANGRY LOL XD
I’m outside doing chill work and I have real rage inside me the wholee time lol which I cant shutoff holy shit xd I guess emotions are good but I havent had this rage in me like ever prefin
ok edit xD:
Was probably really a testrise, was absolutely raging inside like I could feel it XD
So I’m doing better, the gym, long fast and the overload on veggies and juice, dark chocolate etc seems to do me good. I had first time real hunger yesterday and ate prob like 2k kcal within 40min.
I had good mood and actually started enjoying things again (some guitar/piano/movie).
I slept the first time WITHOUT melantonin, but with some other weak sleep aid, and I slept for around 6hours total (work… and too late to bed), but without waking up inbetween! So that’s amazing news I’d say.
I get extreme morning woods, literally 95% prefin(top still not loaded with blood), as said I’ve been a chronic fapper and going 5 days without ejc. leads to prob my body trying the hardest to do something about it. But I STILL have absolute 0 brain to dick connection, my libido is prob 60% back and I just cant do anything… which is making me slowly really uncomfortable with this whole situation since there doesn’t seem to be improvement… my genital anhedonia is getting VERY slowly less. my body anhedonia(if u call it that) is getting better aswell.
I didn’t really wrote it here but I 1. didnt feel any inside pain but 2. I didnt feel outside pain aswell, like scratching my skin etc felt almost completely numb.
- heartrace still at night
- brainfog almost gone
- anxiety is slightly comming back, at 3rd day after crash or so (losing perception of time…) I had no perception of fear or social pressure. I could just walk up to people and talk, like I would’ve been on amphetamines or sth.
- my nose started running (it sometimes did happen prefin during summerseaon, allergies). So i guess thats good too
- i feel muscle soreness more now, was yesterday in the gym and already feel it.
- and what is probably the best thing is that I woke up today with less headpain, it was 10/10 the last days. I’d probably compare cutting my whole hand off with a 10 pain, like it was devastatingly bad, and today it was more like a 5/10!
- it’s 1pm and I’m extremely exhausted
- breast tenderness almost gone, like 10% existent, estrogen prob way down cuz I dont feel like cuddling everything anymore
- genitals are cold (which i assume is good, since after crash they were supershriveled and superwarm)
- didnt had sweatoutbreak yet
- I’ve cold extremeties, either hands or feet get very cold. But not at the same time which is weird af too
and ye maybe I shouldnt write so often, but it feels good to throw it out of me xd.
Thing is I’ve to socialize a lot today and can get at night maybe only 3-4h sleep cuz I’ve a 10h drive to do due to work tomorrow… which will be really taxing on my body which is already fukin me up mentally. Not because I’m afraid of not being able to do that or sth (I’ll be safe dw) just fearing to stomp the good progress my body is making since it had optimum circumstances up to now…
And I forced myself into the gym yesterday, but today I’ve such a hard time to train(no real time and absolute 0 willingness), aswell as cold shower I alrdy fear it…
edit: and yea I’m extremely easy aggravated and angry today, snapped 2 times and have this 0shit feel about anyones opinion if I don’t get it my way… def not my baseline behaviour uf…
AHAHAHA I GOT IT GUYS I FKIN GOT ITTTTTTTT XDDD!!!
I still have barely ANY brain to dick connection. It’s like 5%(seriously 5% from 100%xD)
BUUUUT BUTTTT
I remember there was a guy on reddit, he said on the 6 day he was touching his shrunken noodle and suddenly got an errection and could fap for 2 hours with porn! And this freaking post was one which motivated me tremendously. So here I am, 6 days later with rushing sexual thoughts through my brain (FORCED). I always had them forced even prefin cuz I was a horny fuck lol, and I think I never had libido unless ONLY the morning after fapping the night before, If I didn’t fap for 20hours+ = libido went NONEXISTENT forever(I know due to no-fap periods).
But I always loved fappin so well… thinking about sex/porn = boner = making porn on and fapping. (Sorry if it’s detailed but might help someone) And then it was a circle of horniness I couldnt really get out, but 1 day without porn and my mind was like turned off, no more porn and 0 intent to fap until “forced” (boners still were appearing tho out of nowhere without reason). Just fapped always out of habit and then cicle was repeating with the horniness.
And I usually when I thought about porn or sex = instant boner, whenever whereever. Never needed mechanical stimulation to achieve at least 90% boner. The last 2-3 days I was so down with all this that I didn’t even wanna try. So I was THINKING sexual and hoped there will be one day randomly a fukin reaction, but na nothing…
BUT I just put porn on, and with mechanical stimulation I could achieve after awhile (maybe 2minutes), a FULL boner, like 90% prefin. AND GOD YES. I mean it sux ofc that I cant get one on “myself” but HOLY FUCK I CAN HAVE A BONER AND KIDS and who tf cares its gonna be embarrasing for the rest of my life for the first 2-3minutes XDD (def gonna bother me later ahaha, but for now IM SO FKIN GLAD HOLY SHIET). I didn’t ejaculate even tho I wanted (but still hard time, low sensitivity and numbness, honestly the numbness could stay if I could get normal boners again HAHA XDDD would only HELP LOL XDD) But that guy crashed a day after ejc. quite often so I will try to refrain from ograsm for some days till I feel even better.
No alc no stimulation(games etc.) etc for me for the next 1-2 months 100%, I’d say longer but that’s not possible with my life here.
GOD IM SO HAPPY YAS THANK YOU ALL GUYS
I still hope this gonna get better with time! But I was SO FRUSTRATED TODAY because brain-dick still is 0 when not errect, or maybe the 5% but it’s not even that I think. But now I know that visual stimulation and mechanical = BONER. Falls of fast for now but holy fuck, gonna make it!!! GONNA FAKIN MAKE IT BRAHS !!<3
Thank you all for this freaking support for
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Was out with a real hottie for 3 hours, and I tried to get a boner in my pants for probably 2 hours while looking at her while talking etc. And god dammit I CANT. It’s SO FRUSTRATING that I find it actually funny by now xD, but all these improvements do me really good to keep my mind up.
Since I felt like 0 improvements in the bottom area today-morning after 6 days I felt pretty shattered mentally to be honest, and I wasn’t sure if I could “trick” myself into staying positive for longer.
So the burst with the possible errection put me back into the positive mentality ^^
Slight crash yesterday. Which helped me to notice a lot about this shiet combined with my own behaviour towards it. I’m very busy rn but will try to give a longer update in some hours. Feeling better today.
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Allright I got a little time but am on phone.
I’ve updated yesterday my 1st day post, since as most of you guys know ED was probably my “easiest” to-deal with side, just for me personally the most scary one since I planned to have kids in max 3 years and it freaked me tf out.
So I didnt sleep from 2 days ago to yesterday. Which was absolute devastating for my health. At around 1 o clock when I layed down my heart started pounding and kept going till like 5 o clock in the morning in addition to strong sweats(0possibility to sleep). So I stood up at around 4 to get ready for the 10h drive. Completely adrenaline loaded. Drove for 1h and had fullbody breakdown similar to 1st day with less headache. Head felt like taped with paper once around and burned the shit out of it. I had to pee again every 10minutes and lost like 80% feel of my bottomside muscles(ass) as on first day after crash. My body was losing the control of it as you do when u re overtired for like 0.01sec, but it was so bad I had 0 control over it. So we switched drivers and it finally got better after 4x 1h sleep. And then it was instantly like switched a swich again, 0 pee problems 0 brain fog and completely awake like 130%, like cortisolloaded but no adrenaline (Ive no idea just perception). Had tinnitus way too often but otherwise felt good. After comming home I broke down and went to sleep at around 16. And someone woke me up at around 8:30 o clock. I did sleep the FULL THING without waking up ONCE. So now Im actually scared my body lost its function to wake up on its own lol xd.
I notice I cant allow myself carbs, or eating frequently. Nosleep is prob the absolute worst for my body right now. Aswell it seems my body really needs training to stay like… in a recovery process. I tried to run today (got no gym here) and noticef I literally cant run longer than 1m till Im dying of exhaustion. So I forced myself and it feels really “needed”. I will elaborate this later when I got my pc back or more time. Aswell my head felt really fucked today so after the run when blood was pumping I did 2 handstands for like 20s. My head looked like exploding and was really uncomfortablr like 20-30min after it, but it felt like “needed/good” too in the end. Im still eating shit as yesterday with nofast and average healthy food + veg juice. Gotta go out today to cinema and beers and cant really skip it, just gonna try to get on track back tomorrow. Bottomside feels like exploding, as if my whole body wants to get back to old me but something is blocking and he cant. Sensitivity gets better by the day and Im now at like 5% body dick connection. Im just afraid that any day I lose with not 100%eating is a lot more days lost in total. The longer I stay like this now the longer time will take to heal. It feels a little like I got newborn 7days ago and my body needs to learn everything from scratch, so I cant be too soft with him but still give time to recover and daily introduce “hard” stuff, because if it accepts this as his new homeostasis I will be fucked for a bit longer. Kk keep your heads up guys and thanks for staying with this all with me. I’d think nothing of this really happened if I wouldn’t had it written down and I appreciate this immensly! <3
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Short update.
I was out yesterday ate shit food and drank coke, and was overeating the whole day(extreme Hunger) and drank 1beer (I made it to not drink more yey xd).
And I slept through the night again without melantonin but with some small sleep aid but will try maybe today without anything. Slept not long cuz I got woken up… (total 6h).
I seem to get a moment where my body is just deadtired, and I really have to sleep and not much choice. And same goes for waking up, when I woke up today Im instant 200% awake, like a fullswitch turned. I mean it’s actually way better then before just doesn’t feel right/healthy.
Heart was still beating strong for like 20min after waking up and my whole left side hurts… and I don’t really see how to fix that one for now.
Was kinda hard to follow in cinema as Id ve had slight blurred vision and problems to keep up, but not THAT bad.
And whats interesting is that I ate estrogenic the whole evening and woke up with no breast tenderness (wtf). I can take bloodtests earliest next week tho when I’m back…
No more random sweats tho I think.
Noticed yesterday I started sweating from my legs again which I didnt for the first 6 days, just noticed this yesterday. And barely sweat from armpits.
Head doesnt feel like hit by a brick anymore in the morning (2nd night now) so thats prob by far the best thing cuz this was crazy painful. But head still feels as if I’d have a burning rod inside, so that’s pretty scary and its really for 24/7. Not really bothering but frightening nontheless. I plan to give it 2 weeks or when I feel “good” or symptomfree/less to hit a 3day fast for stem cell activation and hope that I will be recovered after 1-2months fully!
Edit: eh breast tenderness still there meh…
Edit2: I’ve extreme muscle soreness in my lower back lol, I did nothing which would engage my back or sth… and am overall like sore, muscles all over the body but lower back is thr roughest. Not similar to the lower back pain I had before, feels more as if I would’ve deadlifted way too much but I didnt train. Maybe the carride but holy shiet
Edit3: def having weird strong moodswings, wasnt really bothered by much precrash and now I seem to get more angry and frustrated easily and then have a timeframe of euphoria and it is just a bit hard to deal with the negative ones…
Managed to find a gym. Noticed in the big mirrors my skin is extremely pale unheathly looking. Am semi-tanned but still pale and it looked so odd, almost grey/yellowish. Might be my imagination but 2h after gym it seemed to have more color. Am eating like a truck last days prob sth. like 3.5-4k kcal compared to the max 500kcal the days after crash. Mood is very tired and I noticed im like not sweating from outside heat… was extremely hot today and I felt like sweating, but wasnt at all. I still do sweat tho after running or exercise. It’s so much weird shiet happening, yet Im getting better by the day. I declined everything today and will try to hit bed early and let my body rest since I felt incredibly tired the whole day.
My bottomside is getting good, like 90% prefin and am at like 20% brain dikk now! I even start to lose errections faster now after ejac. which is very good. No freq urination and stools. No more puke feeling after eating and am craving everything especially coffee (no idea why but the urge is nuts).
Skin looks more wrinkly and damaged as if Id kicked out all collagen out of it so will try to get a supp for that too when I get back. My brainburn is getting weaker, it actually felt weaker 20m after ejac. today. Ejac. made me def feel worse, but the brainburning got less after doing it.
Since I’m getting better I’m just trying to document stuff incase it might help.
Feels a bit like my body decomposing but the gym etc leads it into not doing it. Havent been doing it much prefin but now my body is like screaming for runs and my mood says dont do it. So Ill try to keep it up.
Edit: read about the collagen adverse reactions some had…, will keep the dose low I guess. Im still takin 1 billion supps rn but its all pretty low dosages.
And now Im scared shitless of possible peyrones… seems to get worse or so… god this is so terrifying fuck
Editupdate same day:
Slept for 8h in the night without waking up.
Headburn like 20% its getting less.
Couldnt achieve errection in the morning… could during the day tho.
Still sweating in the night
Heartrace is still present in the night and my whole left ribcage hurts, but its getting less and heartbeat is still strong but not so fast anymore
Am extremely tired. Had to cancel stuff and sleep/or lay… from 10-14. Now feeling good. Body feels like drinking so I try to listen and did 1 beer. (Dk if thats stupid or good).
Overall it seems I cant handle eating the whole time but it effects me days later, still have a huge problem with sticking to IF since everything started to get tasty again. So Im still not doing it and expect to stun recovery for the next days…
Was at gym yesterday and have 0soreness today, I was ALWAYS sore prefin no matter what I did so this is scary. I seem to gain fat more easily and dk if muscle wastage or that I dont really feel my muscles… guess I gotta force more gym.
Some of my old behaviours is comming back, like tired till midday and awake at evening/night which was totally messed up last week.
Edit2: awful shortterm memory which is scaring me aswell…
Seems I can eat whatever without crazy adverse reactions. This relaxes my mind and I’m fearing a too strong estrogen drop so Im countering now with estrogenic diet for 1-2days to make it not drop too fast. It’s all perception. I still see that my body is overstressed but my mind is calm. Headache upon waking up is 90% gone. Skin/face looks very damaged tho, wrinkled and pores are very visible… am trying to do 10m joggs up to 3x a day to counter that. Aswell as hitting all muscles for 2-3min upon waking up and at evening since I feel that my muscles are legit vanishing and I dont seem to get any pump or feel. Gotta get those receptors back in there.
My bottom side goes faster out of the errect state, still way longer than prefin but not hanging there for 2min after ejac. which seems to be an extreme overstressed body indicator.
Getting back today to an onpoint diet with fasting and veggisfruitjuices and good aminoacid profile through meat and eggs, still getting daily sunexposure to body and balls xd, doing coldshowers and sprints to make my body sweat 1-3x a day.
Supplementing still with adrenalsupps aswell as h.pink salt and some overall calming sleepsupp and 2mg of melantonin.
My mind is like 90% prefin and the whites of my eyes look extremely clean, i dont know if thats good or not… but eyes were superred for the 8days or so. But eyelids still red but insides are clean af, as if my body would really clean step by step everything.
Trying to focus on kidney/liver/adrenal/bloodflow/stress and hope it keeps going that way. Might be a full recovery soon!^^
Still not sweating on the sun/heat and 0 musclesoreness. Breast tenderness almost fully gone even tho I had very estrogenic diet yesterday. Will try to hit a beer today and then give the body freedom of dealing with it again for awhile^^
And I’m sorry if I spam too much and you guys might get tired or annoyed of this…
A week ago I felt like hit by a truck which kicked myself out of my own body and suddenly everything I took for granted was lost. Like sleeping or doing motorical stuff, having normal vision and not extreme pain for days or just not feeling weird by looking at my hands or my own reflection, having stupidstrong heartrace at night or being not able to hold my own pee…, never thought I would be grateful for not having to deal with this. It all seemed so natural and I was oblivious to what I had. And this whole recovery is doing me amazing and I’m just trying to document to show that it’s not always all going downhill. I’m in contact with 3 other people on reddit and altho they didnt had the mental sides we’re all recovering slowly and heading into a good direction. I’m so grateful for the possibility to be here and just have this diary since it all feels like I just had a bad dream and noone of this has happened. And you guys probably saved me from doing something I didn’t think of ever before. So I’m utterly grateful for every single one of you who participated and/or wrote to and contacted me. Thank you a lot, literally means the world to me!
The fact that you’re able to write so much and document everything is very positive. Clearly your brain is functioning well and that’s the most important thing.
Use this experience to find out what drove you to take Fin. Do you overthink or put too much pressure on yourself? Questions you should ask honestly to yourself and perhaps seek therapy to deal with everything. If there are issues underneath they will find another way to come out in your life and mess things up again. If you’re young it can be hard to admit self issues as we see ourselves as invincible.
Your recovery will take care of itself with a sensible lifestyle, it’s time to consider the emotional aspects of PFS so you can build a better future.
Our brains can make us think hairloss is like life or death. It goes back to our cave man days. We have replaced the danger of being killed by animals and replaced those worries with bullshit stuff like hairloss. This has all been written about by Drs it’s not bro science.
The most important things for our survival are food, warmth, shelter and basic clothing. The rest is all bollocks.
I write this stuff for everyone to read and learn from. If you get a second chance which you are, don’t f@@k it up! Stay strong and positive.
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