And I’m sorry if I spam too much and you guys might get tired or annoyed of this…
A week ago I felt like hit by a truck which kicked myself out of my own body and suddenly everything I took for granted was lost. Like sleeping or doing motorical stuff, having normal vision and not extreme pain for days or just not feeling weird by looking at my hands or my own reflection, having stupidstrong heartrace at night or being not able to hold my own pee…, never thought I would be grateful for not having to deal with this. It all seemed so natural and I was oblivious to what I had. And this whole recovery is doing me amazing and I’m just trying to document to show that it’s not always all going downhill. I’m in contact with 3 other people on reddit and altho they didnt had the mental sides we’re all recovering slowly and heading into a good direction. I’m so grateful for the possibility to be here and just have this diary since it all feels like I just had a bad dream and noone of this has happened. And you guys probably saved me from doing something I didn’t think of ever before. So I’m utterly grateful for every single one of you who participated and/or wrote to and contacted me. Thank you a lot, literally means the world to me!
The fact that you’re able to write so much and document everything is very positive. Clearly your brain is functioning well and that’s the most important thing.
Use this experience to find out what drove you to take Fin. Do you overthink or put too much pressure on yourself? Questions you should ask honestly to yourself and perhaps seek therapy to deal with everything. If there are issues underneath they will find another way to come out in your life and mess things up again. If you’re young it can be hard to admit self issues as we see ourselves as invincible.
Your recovery will take care of itself with a sensible lifestyle, it’s time to consider the emotional aspects of PFS so you can build a better future.
Our brains can make us think hairloss is like life or death. It goes back to our cave man days. We have replaced the danger of being killed by animals and replaced those worries with bullshit stuff like hairloss. This has all been written about by Drs it’s not bro science.
The most important things for our survival are food, warmth, shelter and basic clothing. The rest is all bollocks.
I write this stuff for everyone to read and learn from. If you get a second chance which you are, don’t f@@k it up! Stay strong and positive.
for real man, sometimes i get mad at how bitch i was, i was telling myself dying is better than being bald, maybe i deserve all of this BS
Yeah the brain is wired to be more negative as it was needed more to save our lives from animals. When we think negative our brain thinks that thought is important so it keeps replaying that thought. Sadly this can lead to depression.
Various things like exercise, meditation, laughter, hugging and positive thoughts help to break the cycle of negative thought.
We should be taught in school about the basic understandings of the brain and it’s affect on our psychology. Methods for well being and good mental health. Instead our brains are becoming over stimulated with bullshit and bad foods. It’s no wonder that suicide and depression is on the rise amongst kids. Anxiety med use is overtaking depression drugs for the first time.
One last point meditation is excellent for negative thoughts, depression etc. However different meditations work on different parts of the brain, they are not all the same. You have to find a meditation that works on the part of the brain that is causing negativity or an issue. TM works on the front part which helps to treat negative thinking.
The Amygdala deals with fear and anxiety which is at the back of the brain. I think mindfulness deals more with this.
Vipassana Meditation Technique - How To Cure Anxiety Attacks and Panic Attacks - What is Vipassana
I will go into depth to you guys a bit later when I have a PC around.
Just short diary update.
- 0 dreams, I fall asleep and wake up like instantly. Slept full 8h today, still takin Melatonin and sleep aid
- face wrinkled af, but not dry. Actually weird cuz its more wrinkly, pores open and very visible but looks more hydrated(might be the 2x a day running sweat countering dry effects idk)
- actually managed to jogg for 6min and could’ve longer. So this is huge cuz I couldnt jogg lightly for longer than 1min till now since crash
- started first time yesterday fish oil+vitE, today q10+arginin, tomorrow carnitine. Gonna rotate and yes I know the risks. Still taking a lot of other supps lowdoses which I consider safe. Trying to never exceed 100% dose with any supplement directly (still going over with food in the end)
- skin less grey/yellowish
- 1st day barely any tiredness(better then prefin)
Some of these are strong(sudden) changes, so if I don’t crash tomorrow or so I should be good.
Morningwood only appearent when I dont fap at all the day before. Absolute 0% if I do. I know it should be bladderrelated but thats my observation. - barely headpressure or like 5%
- brainburning 5-15% varying
- backheadpain 5-10%
- peeing is negative, I barely have to…
- breast tenderness 5%
- heartbeating at night strong but not racing anymore
- vision is better
- I love women, doubt its libido but more like, knowing what I missed makes them all unique and hot for me
- ate a snickers on empty stomach today (while buying veggies lol) and it felt like gasoline in my stomach burning af. Very interesting. After food doesnt matter
- slowly starting to sweat more from armpits and less from body
- ah and my stinky body odor is bit less. After I got it back I almost had to shower twice a day cuz it was so bad
- bad short term memory (like 1-2hours before is hard to callup again)
Sorry if I’m spamming but I’m certain this gonna help me soon to gather all info and action for myself. And maybe s1 if he’s still reading XD
- got bad news today and it fucked my state of mind for full 10hours till a friend forced me to hit the gym
- extreme depressive thoughts snd negative view of everything
- severe dry eyes(stopped during gym after I started heavy sweating)
- skin getting worse
- pimples appearing on face which I only had before if I ate sth like 1k+ kcal of sugar, but more now. Skin is oily and feels good, but doesnt look so. I expect this to get worse for 1-2months and then better. Hope I can handle the skinaging tho…
- even sugary foods which helped previously with this extreme depression didnt help today
- yesterday was complete opposite and I woke today with 20% headpain and cozldnt sleep longer then 6h
- very low energy today and severe tiredness
- penis bending is getting worse
- penile pain/discomfort
- no more ballache
Why Im writing all this is cuz I hit the gym at 20o’clock, and I really really didnt want to go but I did it since the perma stories scare me.
So after heavy deadlifts and then squats (NOWAY I could do that prefin), like 50min into training HUGE euphoria hit me. I was literally giggling in the gym thinking about fun stuff. After training my testicles felt COLD, which is how they SHOULD feel I totally forgot about that!! And running for 10min early/evening never did that. Running does shrink my ballsack tho. Like not hanging so far! (Trying to observate everything ok xd)
Body is extremely craving sugar/fructose several times of the day. Def adrenals still fakd.
- vision way better today, its nuts how bad it was and just now Im noticing this when its getting better
When I do sprints it feels like Im tackling the muscle wastage, I dont know what it is. It feels like Im pushing the estrogen out of the fatdepots LOL. Rushes my whole body with blood and then I do handstands at home to flush the brain. And after the first time where my head looked like exploding and gave me super uncomfortable feeling afterwards, this doesn’t happen now anymore. As if I’d breaked this barrier in the middle of my head.
Trying to force musclefeeling back with the heavy gym and pushups etc throughout the day. Gotta get tomorrow more asparagus. I was munching on it daily. Dk if it’s that but my braindikk connection is now like 40%!.
Am really really scared of the bending now 
Ah and penis is way too often in a semierrected “hardflaccid” state. If the bending wouldnt get worse I woulfnt care about that since it means there’s def blood rushing through it…just not sure if thats good or bad in the long run xd
Why not try some qigong/tai chi a few times per week to help internal healing. I would also meditate everyday to clear your mind from PFS. You also want balance in your life for mental happiness. Watch gratefulness videos for 10 mins in the morning. It sounds like your hormones are rebalancing themselves. Cold showers in the morning are great for low mood. GL
Yea I will have to do that with the greatfulness thingy. It’s not like I’m sad due to reasons, it’s probably more comparable to a woman on her period. I get these phases of depressiveness and then anger. Then happiness and sometimes aggressiveness. Some days ago I had strong breast tenderness and sometimes less and now it’s almost gone. The hormones are just fluctuating so I’m sure this will balance out after awhile. Still trying with diet, sleep and exercise to guide them into a diection I like(dk if that’s even possible but gotta try xd).
Ya I’m doing full cold showers for lke 15s every morning^^ and I do break a sweat in the morning end evening to let blood rush in everywhere with exercise to show my body he needs these freakin muscles and use fat xD
- woke up today first time with some muscle soreness which is great!!
Couldnt get ANY soreness from the workout 3/4days ago! - I got slight hardening on the right side (always had) and penile pain persists in that area…seems to make the bending worse…
But its bending to the left so it’s not like peyronies, really hope it wont get worse.
Feels like slight inflammation(discomfort/warm) on lower right side of penis and I’ve no idea what to do… vit e topically? I dont think I can get hold of an urologist till next wednesday…
I’m getting nocturnal/morning wood and encourage like 2errections a day, so dk if I can hope that bloodflow will work this out
Edit: and I will check the herb out, I’m just very very careful rn with adding supps^^.
Edit2: never thought muscle soreness will make me jump around like a little happy kid in the house fkyes haaa I knew I can force this shit back!
Edit3: please let me write messages to people ^-^
@imscaredman, as much as we don’t mind helping people suffering severe, but transient adverse reactions here, this site and forum is solely intended for those with persistent side effects.
Since you appear to be prone to stress caused by what you believe may be a psychosomatic reaction after reading anecdotes from those who are legitimate members, your account has been suspended for 3 months in the interest of preventing unnecessary interaction with those more severely affected during your continued improvement.
If after those 3 months you are still experiencing persistent symptoms, you are more than welcome to participate in the forum.
This suspension has also been handed down to prevent those with true post-drug illnesses from mistakenly attributing your treatment methods to improvements that are almost certainly due to a natural recovery.
Best regards.
Hi.
I didn’t hear from you for a long time. How are you doing ?
He is banned forever
Ow. I’m speechless. Suicide is the result of a mental state of despair. It’s the cause of the great majority of fatalities on this forum. Clearly this young man was in distress. I don’t see how banning him would ease his distress and decrease his chances of suicide.
Patience and tolerance are virtues, but so is detachment from the outcome of our efforts. I will take the later approach and wish him the best.
Yeah… except no. That poster returned and said they had recovered “at least 90%”. They then broke a load of terms of service rules in now hidden posts which resulted in their ban. He did give you a shout out by name though, a thank you, just so you know.
I don’t see how taking one pill of anything can fuck people up. I believe in post fin syndrome but many people here probably imagine things… I mean one pill. Come on.
There are plenty of examples of one or a few pill cases. Some of the most severe on the forum only had a pill or two. Unfortunately, it appears very short term exposure can cause ongoing issues.
Look on the forum plenty of people crashed on 1 pill some took the drug for years with no issue then they have the crash it all depends person to person.
Are you saying my experience for the past one and a half years is imagined? I took only two doses.
Saying that is disrespectful to everyone who continues to suffer from this shit, not to mention their families.
One peanut causing an allergic reaction, I mean come on…
Many patients including myself developed PFS from a tiny amount of finasteride (I took approximately 1 mg in total). I can assure I am not imagining the numerous and devastating persistent effects I continue to experience over two years after cessation.
How can you know it has anything to so with fin? Are there permanent hormonal changes? It seems highly unlikely. Hate to say it but could it be placebo? How bad is your situation?
When I started testosterone 7 years ago I was so paranoid about the side effects that I took fin and duta together for several weeks and stopped shortly after. I also took 10-20mg accutane daily for 7 years which I believe has caused some issues and that’s why in here although even now I find it has a lot to do with hormones. At least my hormone use seems to mask it to a large degree.
One thing I’ve found is that after the use of accutane I seem to aromatise testosterone into estrogen to a ridiculous degree, so it may have changed the way my body utilises androgens.
I have experienced the state of complete loss of libido. Not caring about women, not having erections or sensation. It really fucks with your head as you realise you no longer have a purpose or meaning in life as a man. Everything you do or did is to get laid or start a family one or another way. It’s our biological imperative. To spread the seed. So I totally understand the suicides.
What cured him? What did he say?