Thursday, January 8, 2009
Day 13!
Yesterday afternoon, I had a 1/4 of a cup of small ice coffee which gave me bad sleep. I decided that i wanted some coffee b/c i hadn’t drank coffee in almost 2 months. So I bought a cup from dunkin donuts just to see what it takes like again. After stopping propecia, i notice that coffee left me drained of my adrenals and could not get a decent sleep, ever, even if i drank a cup early in the morning. I took 500 iu of hcg in my inner right thigh, vitamin E, and nolvadex at 1am, then i went to bed. It probably took me an hour to sleep and I woke up at 8am with a slight erection (65%). So i decide to put my theory to work and see if I get the same outCUM. hehe. If you’ve been reading the journal lately, then you know that my semen has been watery every morning. Also, after i talked about time trials yesterday, that i wanted to see how long i can last. I worked up my erection to 85% and kept it going for 18 mins with erection quality fluctuating between 65-80%. After i climaxed, the semen quality was good and there was no water this time, just substance. I think that the longer I’m excited, that gives the body time to build up the necessary fluid for the finally. I’ll test out the theory tomorrow about erection during vs semen viscosity.
I don’t know whether it is poor sleep or what, but I felt devoid of energy and depressed. Currently, I have a lot of complexes right now and it has been too much to bear. I’m dealing with propecia sides, Hair, Halitosis, Youth complexes, and it affected me today. See I have the pocket size halitosis meter (http://www.engadget.com/2005/08/01/tanita-breath-alert) on me at all times to check my breath b/c i suffered from Halitosis for 12 years. I think this is the worst affliction that anyone can have other than being disfigured of course, b/c it removes all sociability that you have with anyone. I’m telling you, this fucks me up more than propecia. Having Halitosis, you don’t know if you have offensive breath and it is always on the back of your mind. Whenever you are in front of someone, you wonder is your breath strong and is the person keeping a straight face while talking to you. After 12 yrs of dealing with this, you’ll develop paranoia and lose yourself, just b/c you don’t want to speak and have someone cringe. I saw my doctor about this and he has bad breath too, he told me to keep the mouth moist with lozenges. Whoa, what an appifiny, tic tacs, gum, Listerine pacs, mouthwash never came to my mind. What a dumb fuck have i been. (I’m being sarcastic) Whatever, I have been on a journey trying to correct that issue for a very long time. With the halimeter, it tells you the following: no odor, slight order, mild, and strong odor, will either display 1,2,3,4 dots respectively on the meter. For the first 9 years I flossed and brushed my teeth for 2-3 mins, but my breath was always at a 3-4 dot range. I’m sorry guys, that is socially crippling and this will leave anyone with a complex. I’ve tried Profresh.com works great, but my breath would continue to get worse as the day went on. On Profresh my breath would flucuate between a 1-4 at given points in the day. I have been measuring my breath for 5 yrs now with this meter and i know a lot about breath measurements throughout the day. I made a lot of breakthroughs in 2008 b/c i figured out what was wrong with me. I was not brushing and scraping correctly, but the explanation gets very complex. First, your mouth is a huge structure, with teeth, tongue, throat, gums, side walls of the cheeks, top of pallet, and saliva, so not understanding these structures led to my bad breath. (Boo hoo, yea cry me a river by Justin Timberlake). I’m a fighter, so i don’t give up bitches… Plaque is your worst enemy even if you brush your teeth and floss, scape your tongue, brush the side walls of your cheeks, there is plaque that you cannot get too. I don’t care if you been brushing for 5 mins and your teeth is silky smooth, there is plaque somewhere. I conquered bad breath in stages:
- I was brushing and not rinsing correctly. Think of this analogy, you are going to mop the floor, then clean up the mud off the floor and you go into the next room to use the same bucket of dirty water. The point is that you moving around the bacteria from one area to the other. You may brush the bacteria from your teeth, but it bacteria infested brush water is flowing down onto your tongue and throat. So, my solution was to mix Listerine/water (50/50 ratio) and use it during brushing, flossing, scrapping, i would use the mixture to rinse and spit out.
- Brush your gums, gumline, cheeks, pallate, tongue, teeth, then rinse with fresh mouthwash mixture.
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you should never floss prior to brushing your teeth b/c you’ll be bringing harmful bacteria from your teeth up into your gums. So brush first then floss and rinse with listerine/water combo.
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Buy a good tongue scrapper, get one from Profresh.com and another scaper from amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Tongue-Sweeper-Model-PRO-K/dp/B00023CD46)
scrap the WHOLE tongue and back near the throat. Then rinse with listerine/water mixture.
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Use the stimudent from the front and back of the teeth. (http://www.amazon.com/Johnson-Stim-U-Dent-Plaque-Removers-Packs/dp/B000XP4I3C)
I didn’t mean for this to be a clinic on brushing but it cured me. There is great detail to this because there are complicated steps and techniques that i’m not going to explain in this journal, maybe for a new oneday journal on some bad breath forum. Why did i go into this tangent… So, i’m at the gym with my buddy working out, and I knew going into it that I had no malodor because the halimeter says 1 dot, but my friend brushes his nose several times, which makes me think that I have bad breath. Because of my complex, I felt depress this morning and afternoon even if my breath wasn’t bad. One time, i had my friend blow into the meter and it registered 2 dots meaning slight odor, but I couldn’t smell anything from the person’s breath, so my breath is currently between 1-2 dots… I’m so fucked up by this and that i don’t know if I can ever break out of this breath complex even if my breath is ok. (I"m like that guy named Brooks from the movie Shawshank Redemption, where he was so institutionalized that when he was released from prison after 50yrs or so, he just could not cope with the outside world) I feel that I have been dealing with this for so long that it is apart of me now. I have to rehab myself, so I can feel confident again and live a normal life in the outside world unlike Brooks. The funny thing is, I was popular in college even tho i had horrendous breath, now, I have (1-2 dot) breath but lack all sense of sociability. Well i’m gonna have to pull an Angela Bassett in the movie - How Stella Got Her Groove Back, and oneday will get his grove back…hahaha
Back to semen quality, I came back from the gym feeling depressed and decided that maybe a downloaded youporn video will bring up my spirits. I watched this video of some milf action and once I saw The Side Dish position day 25 on the link (http://www.tricklife.com/view.php?id=1102), that i just exploded. It only took 5 mins but if i hadn’t seen that provocative position then I could have gone longer. Erection quality was much better at 85% throughout the 5 mins, but semen quality was watery. Given my theory about semen viscosity, I think if i went longer then my semen would have been thicker.
I gonna buckle down and train myself to get better sleep. I want to get better from this and not have a propecia complex for the rest of my young life. I feel like I’m going through a midlife crisis at 29, when 29 should be the new 20. I’m too young for this shit,just got to meditate and stay fucking calm, ahummm, ahummm, … no,no, it is woosaaaahhh, woosaaaahhh, woosaaaahhh from Bad Boys 2. That’s better and i feel calm now.
By the way, my balls were very firm this morning and in good shape. I’ll be just taking vitamin E and Nolvadex tonight. wish me luck. oneday
