Mental support section

General Discussion
#1

How do the moderators feel about adding in a section for mental/emotional support here. Perhaps one that is open only to members.

I know myself that I sure could use somthing like this becuase I cant seem to find understanding about my issues from anyone other than those who are in it. You never know, we may one day have a councelor willing to help us out. I think this side of our finasteride problem is a big one (for me anyway). I think about suicide all the time. I mean how do we deal with living like this for the next 50 odd years?

Its just a suggestion anyway.

#2

I broke down today. I felt low before but today was the lowest. It has been about 11 months since I stopped taking propecia. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I have never had to battle this hard. Today I faced the reality that I been just living as a “shell” for the past 11+ months. I go through each day, I eat, I sleep, I study, and I act like I’m okay. I try to put a smile on my face even though I feel dead inside. The tears flowed, as they do now, as I type, and the pain flowed out of my body. Without the prospect of getting better I really don’t know what I should do. I have seen two urologist, an endrocrinologist, three generalist and none of them have been able to do anything for me. I can’t talk to anyone close me about this. How can I tell my friends and family members that I no longer feel any libido, that my penis is lifeless, that my testicles hurt, that I have constant abdominal pain, that I feel disconnected from my penis, that have semi-diarrhea all the time. This is like being in a prison cell without any hope of getting out. Nothing I do, no doctor I have seen, nothing has fixed me. And I do feel broken. I feel like I have broken my body. And it hurts so bad thinking of the days I used to pop those pills that I now so regret. I don’t have any real regrets in my life, but I do now. I have lost time. Time I could have been happy. Time that I could have felt normal. I feel like a robot: I eat, sleep, study. But that isn’t what life is. Life is feeling, being happy, being able to be intimate – those are the things I live for. Over the past 11 months I have shut out all the feelings and tried to live my life, go through the motions, just to continue and hope that I get better. I was going to wait until the one year anniversary to really access my situation but I couldn’t wait any longer. I don’t have the urge to do anything now. All the things I used to enjoy, drinking with friends, traveling, having sex – none of those things can make me happy anymore. There is just no hope. No doctor knows what happened to us. No study has revealed propecia’s real side-effects.

#3

Joshblack, You are almost a mirror of how I feel right now - and every day too. This is a living hell to me. I cant talk to anyone I know about it due to the nature of it and I truelly feel like a dead man walking. Just going through the motions. Keep your chin up bro. I think its important that we all talk about it and know we are not in this alone.

Any thoughts on that new thread mods?

#4

Hi guys. This thread is a good one, since we need to be able to talk about these problems. It can be even tougher without opening up. I just posted this to the another forum. Here you go:

Yesterday I had a job interview. I got myself ready and of course,
stressed a normal amount. It went quite well, and I felt that my
brain was sharper that it had been in a long time. Anyway, later
yesterday, I felt very fatigued after 6 o’clock and went to bed at
10.30 pm, and slept 12 hours. Today I have been very depressed and a
bit spaced out.

I guess this is a sign of adrenal fatigue, that after a stressor you
get fatigued and spaced out, due to a lack of stress response. But
damn this, if this is going to be like this for the rest of my life.
I can not bear if I have to struggle just about every day to get
through. I do not like at all the idea of living alone for the rest
of my life. At 26, it is ok not to have a family, none of my friends
and pals do yet. (with me: no sexual ability=no wife ever?). But
once my friends start to get married soon and have kids, how will
I be after that? Never to have a normal life, just because some drug
company put a medicine to the market that kills you without actually
killing you.

I think so many here can relate that I feel so alone with this, just
about no-one has this kind of problems. Building new friendships is
also hard, because I do not act like a normal 26-year-old. I do not
want to go out, because I get depressed there. I can not talk about
adventures with women, one of the most common things young males
talk, because I have been out of the game for 4 years. My studies
have been delayed some because of this condition, and at school I do
not know so many people anymore, because they have graduated.
Hopefully I will graduate soon also, because I have been able to get
some of my energy back. Luckily, I have 2 good friends, parents and a
sister that I am able to talk about my condition. Others just wonder,
why the hell I am acting like I do.

I have been to both sides of this so many times. Sometimes you want
to fight until the end these side effects, and also encourage others
to lift their heads up and fight too. But sometimes the whole thing
just gets to you so bad, that you start to be depressed and think
almost suicidal.

This is how I feel now. Probably, I will be in a more fighting kind
of spirit next week. I hope.

In addition, it might be a good idea to have internet phone conversations with us sufferers. Skype is a free program that works well. With that, no matter where we are on the globe, we could blow out some of that extra depressive steam.

#5

I am open to add people to my msn. Just PM me. Its great to see poeple getting this stuff off their chests. We are going through somthing that most men wouldnt even dream of having to endure. We are all heroes for not giving up and I truely think that one day maybe even in a next life, we will be rewarded for it. I think its all happening for a reason and our lives are not a complete waste.

All I know is that I must learn from it the best I can, try and be the best man I can be and if I am doing that, I can sleep easy at night. I also beleive in god now, believe it or not, through this nightmare. If I didnt I wouldnt even be here. If I didnt know I was going to a better place at the end of this screwed up life, what would be the point of continuing it? For me, having somthing to believe in has helped me in a big way. It makes me feel as though somthing really good will come out of this mess. Just thinking out loud here, I would love to hear peoples opions about all of this stuff.

Keep em coming fellas.

#6

Yes, I can relate. I’m 25 and I now behave more like a 50 year old. I am at a new school and my friends (which I’m not very close with) wonder why I study so much. It’s not that I want to, but going out isn’t fun when you can’t drink, your testicles hurt, and you are just not feeling well. I used to be a bit wild and super-out going. But people probably think I’m a nerd here.

This is how I think about it. What used to drive me was getting sex. We are essentially animals, here to reproduce. If we can’t reproduce nature doesn’t really need us. I know the analogy is a bit of a stretch, but it’s essentially true.

Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am going to make Merck pay for this. I have already contacted an attorney and hopefully we will bring a suit, both against my doctor and Merck. I recommend that all of you do the same.

Drug companies can be held strictly liable for selling defective drugs (drugs that are unsafe for human use).

Josh

#7

Guys,

This is a good thread.

I don’t think its necessary to create a whole new section on the forum for Mental Support, because that is essentially what this whole forum is about anyway – and this thread can serve that purpose as well. As Dynaaminen pointed out in another thread… its probably better to compress, rather than expand, forum sections… I agree there are a lot and it can be annoying having to go from forum to forum to find info so the less the better. I will see what I can do about this.

As for getting in touch with each other – my personal recommendation is to use Yahoo Messenger – messenger.yahoo.com . It has built in VOIP calling and is totally free, the quality is good, you just need a Microphone. You can even do VOICE CONFERENCING so we can all talk at once in the same room.

If we can all agree on a platform to use then we can all be on each other’s buddy list’s… not sure if Skype is the same or if it will always remain free?

Anyways that’s my recommendation – Yahoo Messenger.

#8

I am not coping with this very well at all. I cant stop thinking about suicide. I cant imagine being like this for the rest of my life. How do you guys cope with this?

I can only stay positive for so long before one peice of bad news or doubt about making a recovery brings me crashing back down. I want to go on anti-depressants but I fear it will really screw my chances of any recovery at all so im trying to rough it without them. Is it just me or is this a living hell?

I have to keep making up pathetic excuses to one girl after the next. Since this crap started, ive never had so many girls chasing me and theres not a dam thing i can do about it. I dont want to screw around, I just want one girl. Thats not asking too much is it? But I cant. I could be stuck on my own for the rest of my life. How do you cope with that?

#9

haha, sorry to laugh J89, but i just read your last post and i couldn’t help it cause i can relate so badly about never having so many girls chasing me. I wonder if they can sense that I don’t really want them to go as far as sexual intercourse (for fear of not getting an erection…) and somehow they’re trying just harder to win me over.

more serious though: i also have these thoughts constantly. Not about suicide yet, but about how it would be never to be able to have a girl again, to have a family etc. What i tell myself though is though is that with the rate science (and i’m aware bad science is what got us here, but science is generally good) is figuring stuff out, combined with my body trying to fix itself, combined with some good support from forums like this, I’m bound to get better at some point. if there are any pessimists who wanna tell me how i’m dreaming, please don’t…

#10

Yup. I think thats it with the girls too. The whole “they cant have me thing”. It drives them insane. I wish I knew that one 10 years ago…lol.

Anyone else got any input on how they deal with this stuff?

#11

Almost 17 months off now. Agreed on the girls thing, I guess not being horny makes you more attractive to them, who knew?

I had a breakdown at 9 months off. Cried a lot… told my mom stuff even. Have told a few friends as well… they’ve been supportive.

When I’m with girls and it doesn’t work I just explain I took a medication and it messed me up in that department. Some of them ask what it was for, I say hair… they just say “hair’s not that important” – guess I shoulda known all along. All of them so far have been ok with ED issue, by the way. I’ve even been with one girl for over a year now on a casual basis and she doesn’t care, she likes me for me and told me sex isn’t everything… so there are women out there that will work with you on this and be supportive.

Day to day I realize I am not 100% but i just go on and stay positive. I don’t get as excited about things or feel as quick or sharp as I used to, but I still force myself to get out there and enjoy life as much as I can… who knows what might happen down the road thanks to this drug.

I have come to accept my current state of shrivelled dick, ED and loss of libido for the most part until I see a doc that can work with me on this. By accepting that this is how it is, it makes it easier to manage for me. No sense fighting what I can’t change at the moment… but I will be looking at seeing Crisler or Shippens down the road, for sure… hopefully sometime later this year.

I am happy to report that a lot of the brain fog has dissipated and besides the sexual issues, that was enemy #2… with that clearing up gradually, I can actually relate to people once again, find humour in things, etc… I don’t feel as numb and flat as I used to, but lack of emotions are still a problem since Finasteride…

My advice is in no way to contemplate suicide. We are still alive, and we can work together on this… and maybe even make Merck pay with lawsuits. Furthermore, getting the word out about the dangers of this drug is almost a personal mission for me now, as should it be for all of us… and with Shippens and Crisler actively looking into this, there is still lots to look forward to.

Stay positive, don’t dwell on this and get busy with other things in your life. Certainly visiting and posting on this board every few hours only reminds you of the crap we have to deal with… if you ocupy yourself with your job, friends, activities… you may find you are able to deal with this a lot better. Ditto goes for telling some of your close friends/family. Support is important.

Cheers.

#12

I remember being suicidal as well. The drug has screwed up your hormones and in fact effecting your emotions as well. I remember being VERY emotional while going through the side effects.

You WILL get better over time. It’ll actually make you a stronger person when you look back on it.

Stay strong dude and ask any questions re: recovery. Many of us are almost 100% cured. I just need to cure my prostate problem and I’ll be completely good!!! (after almost 2 years though)

#13

Hi guys,

I added my Yahoo messenger address to the old forum. Feel free to add me to contacts, so we can chat about this condition. We can have a mental support ring of some kind.

#14

Not everyone has access to the old forum. If you want people to add you I suggest PMing guys here your Yahoo userID… or just put it on your public profile on this site.

#15

Ive only got MSN??

#16

I have only MSN as well.

#17

Guys, you can download Yahoo Messenger for free here:

messenger.yahoo.com

If you want to use MSN messenger then go ahead, it would just be great if we were all using the same thing… for me, Yahoo is more anonymous (all my friends are on MSN/photos of me etc), so I prefer using Yahoo for that reason alone… plus Yahoo lets you do group conference voice chats.

Try it out, then PM each other your Yahoo usernames or post them in the thread if you dont’ care who can add you to their list.

#18

I cant use yahoo due to the way my computer is set up. If anyone wants to talk to me on MSN they can just PM me. I will try and find out how to get it to work on yahoo, but for now I cant do it.

#19

Guys,

I would suggest downloading Trillian. Trillian is a chat client that allows you to be connected to MSN, Yahoo, AIM, ICQ all at once from within one application. Since most of you probably already have yahoo accounts since you were on the yahoo group, I would suggest downloading Trillian from here http://www.download.com/Trillian/3000-2150-10047473.html?part=dl-trillian&subj=dl&tag=button

If you guys have any problems getting it set up, feel free to ask me.

#20

I’m so pissed off and terrified about the damage done by this POISON, let alone future relationships how am I gonna be able to look after myself? One stupid mistake looks to have destroyed everything. My sides are WAY beyond sexual and I can’t imagine much of a future of any kind unless something dramatic happens in the next few years. Gonna be a challenge to hold on that long …I would honestly rather have AIDS than this crap …sometimes I feel like going crazy and getting revenge on all those b$%tards who screwed me over while I was finasterided…thank god I can’t get hold of a gun! Feel like a right stupid &!£ cos had done quite well out of life’s genetic lottery looks wise and now finasteride $%!s it up for NW1 hairloss.

btw I would be wary of confiding in people about this stuff as you can get desensitised from talking about your cock etc here and forget how freaky and embarassing this would be to peers.