Mental support section

General Discussion
#21

I’m feeling very suicidal right now over what this drug has done to me. I only took 15 pills. I’ve been off 10 weeks now and things keep getting worse by the week. My prostate problem is out of control, I can’t sleep, I can’t pee, I have a UTI infection which won’t go away because I can’t empty my bladder, my penis is deformed, and my chest has constantly been hurting the last week, which is probably gyno. On top of all this I’m on antibiotics which make me feel like complete shit. What’s next? What did I do to deserve this???

I really want to do myself in, but the only way I could do it is with a non-violent manner like a drug cocktail. If I had it in front of me right now, I would gladly take it. This is not worth going through for years and years with no end in sight. I would be much happier dead.

#22

youtube.com/watch?v=hWUfFwoe8ko

#23

Have you been in for medical tests? Two longtime sufferers, JN and Boston2009, have been having good response to thyroid meds. The more I read about it the more I think there is possibility to cure a percentage of us.

There is also the clomid route which would block the estrogen. Get some melatonin, take enough to get some rest, and explore and TRY the options before losing the last hope.

Edit: Boston is reviewing his thyroid treatment

#24

I’m supposed to go in for a blood test on 9/1. I had been taking Sustain Alpha and the doctor wanted me to stop taking it for a while so my results wouldn’t be skewed. Boy Mew tells you to get blood tests immediately for a reason. I didn’t do it because I don’t have insurance or much money and I had been hoping for a natural recovery. I just couldn’t believe that 15 pills could do this to me.

I’m seriously considering borrowing money from my parents and flying to see Crisler. This urologist I’m seeing doesn’t know anything about this.

#25

Cantsleep, hang in there mate, things WILL get better.

What do you mean by ‘can’t piss’? you literally can’t urinate at all?

I can’t sleep for more than 3-4 hours myself, and often have pains that don’t last but go through different areas of my body.

#26

Joe, I’m having a lot of trouble getting the urine stream started… it’s taking up to 20-30 seconds even when my bladder is full and I really have to strain. I believe my prostate is enlarged and is cutting off the flow. The main problem with this is I can’t seem to empty my bladder all the way, which leads to urinary retention, giving bacteria a chance to take hold in the urine. I’m finding I basically have to constantly drink water and urinate all day to keep the urine diluted and prevent an infection. This could be a serious long-term health problem.

It’s hard to believe this will get better. With each week something new seems to appear with no improvement elsewhere. I am wondering when I will hit the bottom, if there is such a thing.

#27

It is frustrating. I seriously think get some doctors take this poison by force for some months. when they are sick then let them go and wonder about their own health. they will go and talk to merck themselve other wise these ideots will keep calling us mentally sick.

sps

#28

True striken. What I can’t get over though is the fact that I did this to myself. I ordered it from an online pharmacy and put it in a drawer for a month because I was so scared of it, but I let my vanity, as well as the reassurances of those on hair loss forums and blogs(Dr. RASSMAN comes to mind), get the best of me. I actually shaved my head for two months before trying this drug because I knew it could be bad news, but I just couldn’t get used to the look.

The problem was that I thought the “persistent” sides were all sexual/libido issues, and that they happened after taking the drug over a period of time. I didn’t understand the idea of a post-drug “crash” where everything gets infinitely worse and new sides hit you from all over the place. I’ve already been through 2 crashes in the last month. I know for a fact I can’t take another one. I pray to god this stabilizes soon.

#29

Me too, only excuse I have is that it was before this site existed and I read nothing of possible permanent sexual sides let alone the other problems this stuff gives you. I also wish I’d just close cropped my hair. And yeah the fact that everything got worse AFTER i stopped is just too cruel.

#30

Woah, woah, woah guys. All this talk of suicide is kinda scary to me. I used to think like you did. The worst thing we can do is come down with a side effect of our own creation, a “tunnel vision” where we are looking at the future and see no hope. It was only when I started appreciating the present that things turned around for me mentally. I know, it seems like it’s impossible to appreciate the present with what we’re going through, but propecia reminded me of my own mortality and how valuable life really is. I know we’re in a lot of pain sometimes, but rather than think your life is over and has no meaning, think of this as a new start to a life full of deeper meaning. Perhaps before we were only interested in shallow things (like our looks), but we have learned that there are things that are far more important.
Guys, what I mean is, if we can’t feel better physically then get out there and feel better emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. Help a kid with his homework. Buy a friend a gift. Go camping and enjoy the great outdoors. Show the family how much you love them. Just do something other than concentrate on our problems, and people (including women) will really be endeared to us and we will find a new outlook on life.
I’m saying this because it worked for me. Although I am sick, I am very happy because I have literally hundreds of people who love me and value my life. They would be devastated if I wasn’t around and that is a priceless feeling.
Honestly, try to be positive and live a more fulfilling life. Your life will turn around just like mine did.
I wish you all the best.

#31

This is devestating. To think I’m not going to have children because I was worried about my hair is shameful. For me the shrinkage and ED is by far the worst. I just hope and pray that supplements, time, diet, exercise and hopefully science figures out wtf happened to us.

#32

Merck shill?

#33

Hard not to feel suicidal when you have to piss every 30 minutes regardless of how much you’re drinking, you have to spend 5 minutes in the bathroom at a time because you can’t start a stream, and you keep picking up infections because you can’t empty your bladder!! I’m spending half my fucking day in the bathroom! How’s that for a fulfilling life?

#34

Cant sleep, buy someone a gift, help a kid with his homework…it will all be better.

#35

cantsleep , you will see Shippen soon. Hopefully he will be able to get a picture of what happened to you.

Maybe in 6 months this will all just have been a bad dream for you.

#36

Tim, I never said everything will be better. Staying positive can’t cure us, but it can help. What alternative do you propose? Please, tell me. Because I suffered immensely for many months, in mental, physical, and emotional anguish, not knowing any way out or seeing an end in sight. I could only envision myself getting sicker and sicker, and the stress I was putting on myself was only making conditions worse.
I know all of us are in great pain, and some more than others, and right now it seems we have to wait until a cure is found for this. The question is how will we wait? There are only two options. We can concentrate on our suffering and let negativity swallow us down, or we can be positive and fight back by trying our best to get our minds off the suffering. It’s good to come here and get all these feelings out, but I am telling you the truth, it was only when I stopped thinking so much about it that I started to improve. Keep things in balance. Eat healthy, exercise, and find safe ways to keep your health in check.
Remember, other sufferers HAVE returned to normal after the nightmare.
Mental health and physical health are closely related.

#37

Sorry dude, i had a jerk moment, i know its hard and it sucks like shit.
Once again sorry.

#38

No problem man, I’m rooting for your recovery bro.

#39

cantsleep, try SERRAPEPTASE for your prostate inflammation, it really has helped me. First time i used it though it made my brainfog way worse, probably duo to toxin release or stomach ulcer irritation or something. After i first treated my digestion problems with probiotics, digestive enzymes, msm and l-glutamine i now can tolerate SERRAPEPTASE better, just mild increase in brainfog. I think it’s doing something for my libido and arections as well due to better prostate healt. Try it.