Libido recovered with meditation

Hi everyone,

My libido is recovering! I am psyched! And the best part, I can almost control my recovery. Like I know exactly what to do to improve. I always wanted to do these exercises because before my big mental crash, when my libido was already low, I already used them to success to recover libido. Just for you to understand: I first lost my libido slowly, then I crashed mentally. I wrote an article on my mental recovery and the details about my PFS here: 100% mental recovery - libido still low

The big problem with meditation after my crash was, that one of my remaining symptoms are muscle twitches in the face. So whenever I sit down to do a quiet meditation and turn awareness towards myself, the twitches get a lot worse, I lose my concentration and it starts hurting after a while. So the meditation I was able to do were movement based which made it easier to move awareness away from the twitches. But the movement meditation didn’t get me to the mental states I wanted to get to and that I had experienced in the past.

To speed things up: I found a way to decrease the twitches and can finally meditate properly again. That was roughly 3 month ago. After two weeks, I suddenly had an increase in libido form one day to another. My libido was at a 1 out of 10 before that. No sensitivity, no brain connection, no desire for sex ever and I was oftentimes unable to orgasm when trying to masturbate because I was just numb. With the first small recovery, I’d say it jumped to a 4 out of 10 that day with a huge improvement in sensitivity. It faded away slowly after and I also didn’t have much time to meditate because of work. So I took two weeks of vacation to focus on my meditation and to prove to myself that mediation and recovery are connected. After 10 days, I had another huge improvement. This time to 6 out of 10. Notably, both these jumps were after a couple of days of meditation followed by a few beers with friends in the evening before the recovery. I am now getting better at the meditation practice and had an increase again. I still have less desire during the day compared to pre-PFS, but sex is almost like it used to be.

I have read a couple of books on meditation, but the method I am solely using is from Loch Kelly: https://www.amazon.com/Shift-into-Freedom-Open-Hearted-Awareness/dp/1622033507
Loch travelled around the world to learn the different meditation practices in different cultures and tried to find the essence of it. This is what he presents in this book. I really recommend the audio book with the guided practice along with the book.

The reason why I believe that this can be a big cornerstone in everyones recovery is that meditation can bring you to states of mind that I hardly had access to after PFS. You can get happier, more relaxed, loving and joyful in an intensity that is almost overwhelming at times. Our brain and body are insanely complex and can produce an enormous amount of hormones and substances. And I strongly believe, that it’s the body and mind that can administer the necessary substance and dosage for recovery. But to do so, it needs to be in the right mental state and this is where meditation comes in. Plus, even if it wouldn’t recover my libido, I would still keep up the practice because it’s the best thing I know to cope with the struggles we have thanks to PFS.

I try to meditate between half an hour to an hour a day. Having several smaller sessions is better than having one big session. In addition, I exercise every day, doing either 100 weighted push-ups or 100 pull-ups divided over 5 sessions throughout the day.

The only supplement I am taking is whey- and casein protein shakes to support my exercising.

I will keep you updated on my progress and wish everyone all the best for their own recovery.

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is this a book ad ?

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I wish it was. Because I myself don’t know how to write in a way to get people excited about meditation. There is tons of science on meditation from altering the brain structure to changing your brain-waves. Things people would get really excited about if it would come as a drug, especially if it had lasting effects instead of side-effects.

But meditation is unfortunately very misunderstood and can be very unexciting if you haven’t experienced what you are trying to achieve. And I can understand that. It’s like searching blindly in the dark without even knowing what you’re looking for.

That’s why I recommend this book because it shows you the goal and then tells you how to get there.It doesn’t care about traditional ways but boils down meditation to a couple of exercises that get you to higher states of consciousness the fastest. It’s kind of a top down method where you “glimps” into these higher states by pointers and then try to stabilize this mental state over time.

A lot of meditation practices, the ones most people try and give up after a short while because they are boring, are more of a bottom up approach, where you are trying to build a solid foundation of awareness. Both lead to the same goal and if anyone is interested, I can name good books for these methods as well (Yongey Mingur Rinpoches books are all great).

Describe how it’s done. i don’t have english to understand the book

Sorry, I can’t condense a complete book in a couple of sentences. Maybe there is a translated version in your language?

Monks who have meditated for years show positive structural changes in the brain. Meditation can lead to epigenetics changes and lower cortisol.

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I tried different meditation but the twitches in my body is a big problem aswell. I didnt fully grasp how to cope with that? Would it be possible to get some info how you manage to control this?

Hi, sure. I use 3 approaches:

  1. Since my attention always moves to the twitches in my face when I sit down quietly, they get worse. So I tried to move my awareness to different spots in my body, like my feet or my hands, keep it there and not let it jump back to my face. Similar to what you do when you focus on the breath and a thought comes up. You shift the awareness back to your breath. If you find it difficult to focus on different body parts, moving them always helps me.

  2. This is kind of the opposite, because I move my awareness towards my twitches and just keep the awareness there. Instead of seeing the twitches as an annoyance and enemy, I tried to be very calm, welcome them as a friend and feel empathy for my muscles that have to contract constantly. It helped me to learn things about my twitches, i.e. that they are influenced by my breath and heartbeat as well. This method was inspired by Yongey Mingur Rinpoche who describes in this video how he defeated his panic attacks when he was 13 (at 8 min 50):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukTaodQfYRQ&t=1619s
    However, I am careful with this one. If I am not focused it can have the opposite effect

  3. This is what I started just lately and which I am doing now mostly. I am combining movement meditation with the exercises from the book described above. So I am splitting my awareness between the movement and the exercises. This is really doing wonders for me since I can finally meditate as long as I want.

Hope this helps and if you experiment with this and find anything that works for you I am happy to hear it.

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LOL.
Did meditation for several months and it do a shit.

While I am not a very spiritual person, I do feel I might benefit from trying.
Without delving into the specifics that are probably mentioned in the book, from a practical perspective; How often and how much time do you spend on meditating?

Hi Wintermoon. I wouldn’t say I am very spiritual either. I have a PhD in molecular biology so I don’t believe in a lot of the esoteric stuff that is out there. My first book on meditation was acutally “Meditation for sceptics” (which is a good read with lots of scientific research in it).
I try to do 20 to 60 min a day. But with work and other things I usually only manage that on 4-5 days during the week.

The good thing is: Once you get the hang of it, you actually want to do it. It’s exciting and you feel great during and after.

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What exactly did you do?

Doesn’t surprise me, a good and positive mindset are crucial when it comes to recovery imo.

Fast muscle twitches may be a sign of low magnesium levels. I have this symptom if I do not take magnesium citrate daily. Taking the magnesium citrate makes it go away within a short period of ingesting it.

Thanks. How much do you take?

That’s exactly what I am thinking. Looking at all the recoveries, not two of them are the same. So recoveries with drugs are more likely placebo effects than actually a drug based recovery. On the other hand, this means that the body has ways to recover from PFS. And I always believed that if one person can recover, we all can. And bringing the mind to a pre-PFS state of happiness and beyond, flooding it with dopamine, serotonin and all that good stuff, is in my opinion the reason for the recovery I am experiencing.

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I unironically can believe it. Keep it up. I need to get back into it myself.