Lexapro 2012 / Risperdal 2017

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#18

I found the Vitamin D entry. Here’s everything marked “high” or “low”:

Name Result Flag
Vitamin D 25-Hydroxy 26.8 ng/mL Low
hGH2 1.118 ng/mL High
Prolactin 18.70 ng/mL High

Off-topic, but I want to note that the curvature and other deformations I described can be “fixed” manually at about 80%, but at >95% they correct themselves.

Also I know I swore off herbs earlier but I figured the dyslexia had to be from either the inositol or French maritime pine bark extract, and I wanted to recreate the previous couple of short-lived successes, particularly of the anorgasmia, so I again tried less than a capsule full of each of the following:

  • Tribulus
  • Tongkat Ali
  • Muira Puama
  • HGW
  • Fenugreek
  • Maca
  • Cordyceps

Not a success. After a few hours I took the same thing again, and all I got was deep despair.

I also came across a Reddit post where nipple itching was described as one step away form gyno, and that scared me a lot because I was thinking that morning that my nipples might have looked slightly bigger, so I think I won’t touch any of these, especially the fenugreek, ever again. For real this time.

#19

In the interests of transparency, I may have randomly subtracted or added 1 to the least significant digit of some of the results. I feel more comfortable posting my results that way and I don’t think it makes a relevant difference.

Name Result Units Reference Range
TSH3 3.94 mIU/mL 0.34 - 5.6
DHEA-S 610.5 ug/dL 85 - 690
Estradiol 20.8 pg/mL none
Progesterone 1.86 ng/mL 0.14 - 2.06
Prolactin 18.70 ng/mL 2.64 - 13.13
Cortisol 21.0 ug/dL none

Thanks for the pointers, I will do some more research on these specifically. In the meantime if anyone has any suggestions on how to correct anything that needs correcting, preferablly “naturally”, that would be great.

#20

I hope the aforementioned herbs didn’t affect my results too much.

According to my Google searches, it seems that:

  • A high TSH3 would be 4 (mine: 3.94)

  • High DHEA-S would be 640 (mine: 610.5)

  • High estradiol would be 50 (mine: 20.8)

  • High progesterone would be 0.9 (mine: 1.86)

  • High prolactin would be 20 (mine: 18.70).

  • High cortisol would be 20 (mine: 21.0)

#22

Just as I reference, the ranges I used are from Swedens best university hospital where I got my blood tested (Karolinska).

TSH <4.2

DHEA-S <450

Estradiol <40

Progesterone <0.16

Prolactin <15

Cortisol (7-10 AM fasted) <20

It can vary depending on what testing method they use though, so generally speaking it’s best to use the reference ranges they provide (if they’re a legit lab).

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#23

Is that a typo? My progesterone is 1.86, almost 12x higher.

#24

I don’t think so, Karolinska has the refence range for males to <0.47 nmol/L.

Using this converter that equals to 0.1478 ng/mL.

But to be fair my local lab has the ref <2 nmol/L which equals 0.63 ng/mL.

#25

I don’t know which to believe then, because on my paper it says:

Progesterone Results Interpretation:
Males: 0.14 - 2.06

Which implies my 1.86 is on the high side, but still okay.

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#26

Yeah it’s kind of weird.

This is taken from Healthline.

  • Progesterone is found in much lower levels in men and isn’t typically tested unless adrenal gland dysfunction is suspected. Normal levels are less than 0.20 ng/mL.

  • Keep in mind that results can vary between laboratories. If you’re unsure about your test results, contact your healthcare provider.

If I were you I’d probably get re-tested with a different lab just to validate.

#27

I want to document a few more things:

  • This symptom still hasn’t come back, although I still have extremely mild face acne and rare nipple itching from the herbs I took so it’s possible I’m just riding the positive effects and the cringe will come back.

  • Also, while taking the herbs my body odor would occasionally return. I didn’t even realize it was gone until the first time it came back.

  • I have never “crashed”; e.g. had anything resembling a long-lasting reversion to a former, worse state from anything I ever did or ate.

  • I’ve seen multiple hypothyroid people on Reddit cite inability to look people in the eye as one of their symptoms. I will have to investigate the possibility that hypothyroid medication may help, especially this particular symptom (if it ever returns).

#28

6 days now without the “social cringe” that made it uncomfortable to look people in the eye. I can safely say I am cured from that now, after ~9.5 years.

Yesterday for a hot minute I had zero perceivable symptoms, and could interact, talk, walk, and laugh normally. I could feel everything fully, including how beautiful the day was and how nice the wind was blowing. I told myself, “I am in paradise.” :sunny:

I turned on some music and was stunned by how amazing it felt. I thought, this is absolute euphoria. But, my definition of euphoria has suffered severely since Invega. I can remember that before, listening to music was about the most enjoyable thing in the world to me, and I could completely forget how screwed I was from Lexapro if I laid down and closed my eyes while listening to it. This “euphoria” is something I used to experience every day.

Then POIS in the form of physical and mental fatigue suddenly hit me from an-O-mia that morning. I was snapped back to the reality that I am still far from the finish line.

Today was similar.

I think this is my new normal.

I am planning on TRT …

#29

The improvement seems to have been permanent. Although, along with it something bizarre happened. Something else completely loss its characteristic odor, which has never happened before ever. Fortunately I was able to quash my fears of having become infertile with some very cheap equipment.

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#30

It’s been years since those panic attacks, but in general I do feel worse in the morning and better around 2 PM, with mood declining afterwards. Looking at my labs again, which were taken at 8:45 AM after awakening at 7 AM:

Measured Reference Range (AM)
Cortisol 21.0 6.7 — 22.6

So, my AM cortisol is near the upper limit of “normal”?

#31

Documentating and speculating some more miscellaneous things:

  • In agreement with an observation made by someone else at the naked scientists forum, POIS is significantly less bad if focus had been on her pleasure. This even works with porn, and presumably pure imagination. Why? Does it increase a chemical (estrogen?) that somehow counteracts whatever is causing POIS?

  • Post-Lexapro panic attacks began a handful of seconds after waking up and lasted several hours. I believe it was 3 hours. What hormone is released suddenly within a few seconds of waking up and then wanes over a few hours?

  • The white spots vary in intensity but are always in the same place, even when the surrounding skin is purple. What causes skin to appear white when the surrounding skin is purple? Increased capillary blood flow? Why? Some sort of receptors in those specific, sub-millimeter regions are permanently (over a year) altered? What type of receptor?

#32

My best guess for the second question is the Cortisol Awakening Response:

#33

  • Even during very bad akathisia, if it was the time I’d normally go to sleep, if I laid down and fought the urge to move long enough, I would eventually reach a point where I could become motionless without effort and eventually fall asleep. Sometimes I couldn’t break the boundary into sleep land and just laid there for a very long time in a ~75% conscious state.

  • Also, immediately upon waking, similar to the panic attacks, there was next to no akathisia. The significant difference though, was that trying to prevent myself from fully awakening was fairly successful at staving off the akathisia for a few more seconds. This strategy was NEVER effective with the panic attacks.

  • What chemical is released upon falling asleep, and goes away upon awakening?

  • I do not believe melatonin is responsible because I took a pill the other day and it made me EXTREMELY irritable for a good while. So irritable, I would have liked to be tranquilized for a couple of hours.

  • As I edited into the OP, hyperventilationg until unconsciousness made the akathisia go away completely for a few seconds. Even when it was so bad I was literally running in circles. But this had severe diminishing returns and wasn’t worth it after 3 or so attempts.

#34

I’ve been experimenting with the herbs again off and on and want to note a negative side effect I’ve been having off and on randomly is increased afterimages.

Sometimes it’s so strong for a few minutes that I can see a white graphic on a digital screen (for example) for less than 1 second, look away and still see it overlaid on my vision for a half second before it vanishes.

Not sure which herb is causing this but it’s probably not the fenugreek.

Editing updates into this post so I don’t needlessly bump this to the top:

  • 11/15/2021 - Body odour returning, an-O-ia decreasing, it’s been about 4 days since I took less than a gellcap’s worth of herbs. I hope and believe that by messing with my hormones via these herbs, I can cause new imbalances of the sort that my body recognizes and takes action to fix. For the record the “social cringe” symptom I described earlier did not seem to be lessed by fenugreek or maca. In fact it seemed to worsened on at least one occasion by maca, where I had an “acute episode” of it while completely alone. I kep increasing my doses of all the herbs but it seemed like the more I raised them the less they worked and just caused negative side effects. This “social cringe” disappeared less than a month after I decided to try TINY amounts, literally less than a gellcap full of a mixture of all the herbs. The 11th was my last dose, I will try to wait until it’s been a week and repeat.
#35

Sorry for the bump, this post is mostly for my own benefit. I tried to edit it in to my last post but it gave me a 400 error.

  • It’s easy to forget even the most traumatic experiences, or at least be confused about them. Something that has been bothering has been my difficulty reconciling completely, spontaneous recovery from the “cringe” and the lack of a corresponding behavior change. I’ve gained new insight and want to clarify, mostly to myself:

  • The “cringe” feeling is the same as when you’re in a room of other people and there’s an uncomfortable tension. The feeling that ice-breakers are for. I’ve been in countless such situations since June 2012 where I was immune to ice-breakers. Only difference is, this feeling doesn’t seem to be experienced by normal people outside of such situations. But I already described how a few months ago when I was experimenting with high maca dosage I got an acute episode of it while completely alone. So of course like all other mental experiences, it is an emotion generated internally and not inherent to any external situation, and can be experienced detached from them.

  • Back to the explanation for why I still often find it difficult to look people in the eye. It is simply that I am often in a piss-poor mood of some variation or other, and/or, my greatest desire at the moment may be to simply get away and be alone so I can be miserable without having to put up with anyone.

  • I was getting confused about this and considering the possibility the “cringe” had returned but it most definitely has not and I do not believe ever will. I am writing this down to keep things straight in my head and in perspective.

#36

P.S. I was taking 1 teaspoon of magnesium citrate daily for over a year to try to treat peripheral neuropathy and prevent possible tendon ruptures from 4 doses of ciprofloxacin. I quit about a month ago and have begun experiencing something concerning:

  • Couple days ago I woke up with a sore feeling here (right foot):

  • This morning I woke up with the same feeling, but in my left foot instead.

  • These feelings lasted less than 30 minutes. But they’ve frightened me into taking magnesium again.

  • Surprisingly, the first teaspoon significantly improved my mood within a few seconds, like flipping a switch. Not expected at all. But today, it didn’t.

Fortunately the only side-effect of magnesium is that … it’s a laxative.

#37

Going to take the vitamin D my doctor prescribed me because of the bloodwork (haven’t heard anything about the other things and don’t expect to).

Will edit into this post any effects or lack thereof.

EDIT: I lived a large chunk of another life in another version of this world in my dream last night. The only effect so far apart from some odd sensation in my scalp for a minute.

#39

I’m experiencing some pretty miraculous recovery since beginning a regimen of homemade EDOVIS. I was inspired by this thread:

https://forum.propeciahelp.com/t/towards-improving-post-ssri-sexual-dysfunction-by-using-nutriceuticals-lessons-from-a-case-study

I actually described what’s going on in some detail earlier, but deleted the post because it was just terribly written. After the 7 day trial is up, I’ll try to do a proper write-up.

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