Well, here we go, the full story - Part 1 of 3
Part 1. - The Beginning
In November 2007 I had a hair transplant done, and I was prescribed Finasteride under the brand name Proscar 5mg, to be taken in quarters (1.2mg) daily for male pattern hair loss. The transplant Doctor who preformed the transplant, and who prescribed Finasteride never ran any blood tests to see if its use was warranted. I was reluctant in taking it, not because I had read or researched anything about it, but my gut instinct was to give it a wide berth.
However, unfortunately my hair loss was still continuing, and in May 2008, in my naivety, vanity and pressure from the transplant Doctor who preformed my hair transplant, I commenced taking ProscarâŚ
After a week of taking Proscar, I noticed that I was getting a dull ache in my Testicles, like if somebody was applying pressure to them. I stopped the course immediately and informed the transplant Doctor. He advised me that this was normal and that it would settle down and to continue the course, which I didnât. A week after stopping taking Proscar, a suffered from sudden dizzy spells and my heart was skipping beats, this went on for about 24 hours, before, I went to a local swift care clinic here in Dublin, explained that I was suffering dizzy spells, they ran an ECG and immediately summoned an Ambulance to take me to a Hospital, with suspected Heart failure. Seemly my Heart beat was equivalent to that of a person suffering from a Heart attack according to the ECG.
I was asked if I had taken anything in the past 24hours, I explained that I had been out drinking on the Friday night, woke up with a really bad hangover on the Saturday and took two Ibuprofen, which I had never taken before (Usually took Paracetomal or Tylenol). It never dawned on me to mention the Proscar. A battery of tests was run in the hospital for four days, without clear diagnosis. The arrhythmia settled down and went away and I went back home and to work.
Unfortunately, the Testicle ache didnât go away, and after about six months of putting up with it, I went to a GP. He sent me for an ultrasound, where the only remarkable thing was a cyst on my left epididyimis (sp). I was then referred to a Urologist, I explained that the pain started with taking the Proscar and that I only had taken it for a week, and stopped the course, but that the ache had remained. He had never heard of Finasteride causing Testicular pain, and suggested that I might need to take Paracetomal for a while to see if it helped.
During the period of post Proscar use, I noticed that my hair was now shedding a lot faster and that my hair was constantly dry, like straw. In addition, I developed a thin red vertical line on the bridge of my nose, which became prominent after a hot shower(weird, I know). Also, I was starting to put on a bit of weight, and was starting to drink a few beers mid week, which was out of character for me. At the time, although I noticed the issue with my hair, I was so busy in work and was getting married in the May of 2009, so I didnât pay any attention to these tell tale signs (something wasnât right). I had a follow up consult with the transplant Doctor who did the hair transplant in the November 2008, a year on from the transplant. He was disappointed with the growth, coverage etc, and urged me to go back on the Proscar, that the testicle pain, would settle down.
In the end, I recommenced taking the Proscar in April 2009 (a month before I got married), as the level of hair loss was deeply disturbing me, it was now coming out in clumps.
This was the worse decision of my life. I lasted a total of three months on it this time. I experienced severe night sweats for the first three weeks, would have to change the bed sheets in the middle of the night. I rang the transplant Doctor, and he assured me that this was all normal, that it would settle down and continuation of the use of Proscar. Ironically, the testicle pain started to wane after the third week, which lent weight to the Transplant Doctors advice. However, I started to get very sensitive nipples. After this, I noticed that I was a lot weaker then I use to be, weights that would pose a bit of a challenge, became impossible for me to lift. At this stage, I was now drinking quite heavily, as I was at party after party on account of the run up to my wedding. So although I was quite clearly having side effects, the level of alcohol I was now consuming was shrouding my better judgement. In addition, I would of considered myself a bit of a lad or just typical Irish, in the sense, of never taking about private things that are going on with oneâs self.
Things went from bad to worse; I started to get muscle aches, which then progressed to twinges or spasms in my legs.These would last for a half a day at a time. I also became disconnected from my girlfriend, soon to be wife. I was no longer intimate with her, and my very strong libido started to diminish (wanting sex all the time to not particularly bother). However, I must add, that my ability to have an erection or maintain one was fine during this period.
My behaviour was becoming more erratic, and the night of my wedding, not only did I make a mess of my speech, because I was tripping up over my own words, but I had a massive argument with my wife over sex, I wanted to be back down at the party drinking as opposed to having sex with my wife. Luckily, I had been dating my wife for ten years prior to marriage, so she wasnât looking for a divorce straight away! My attitude and behaviour had changed from the person I was. I started to suffer from occasional bouts of being âBlueâ, which I never had before. But I put this down to stress at work (Bare in mind, this was the height of the global recession). I developed a flu like, fuzzy sensation in my head, which I later learned is referred to here as âBrain Fogâ
At the end of the third month on Proscar, I woke up one Saturday morning, and noticed that my left Testicle had shrunk. It scared the shit out of me. I went into the bathroom where I had been keeping the Proscar, and threw them in the bin.
I never consulted the transplant Doctor when I stopped; I just stopped, cold turkey, as I had been assured that any adverse side effect would right itself on discontinuation.
My libido did return, however, my testicle size did not. My attitude and behaviour was still erratic and the bouts of âblueâ were still haunting me. At this stage, my hair was back shedding again.
It was now October 2009 (three months having stopped) and I started to become bloated, wasnât aware of it at the time, my wife would tell me, but I couldnât see it myself. In addition, I would get these occasional, crippling momentary pains which would shoot up from inside my Anus, leaving me literally paralysed for a second or two.
In late March 2010, while away in Germany on business for four weeks, I came massively depressed and totally lost inside my own head. My wife came and joined me for the final couple of days of the business trip. On the day that she arrived. I had sex with my wife three times in two hours, and not satisfied enough, got her to âlook afterâ me a further three times that afternoon. By that evening, I was so exhausted that I couldnât budge out of the hotel room, and had to ring the company who I was dealing with to cancel a final dinner arrangement, because I was quite literally knackered.
The following morning I woke up at about five oâclock in the morning, and suddenly, everything felt different, my wife / partner of eleven years was a complete foreigner to me. I started to cry, and couldnât stop.
I went to the bathroom to compose myself, and on running the shower, noticed that my Scrotum had completely tightened up, pushing my testicles inside me, Itâs like they just stop hanging the way they always had. I was a complete wreck. It is only later to research on this site that I became aware of the term âcrashâ, which I just had.
I just about managed to hold it together until I got home. After about 24 hours at home, I couldnât settle. It was like everything was different. I was living inside my head and totally lost. Everything I loved, aspired to and wanted, were as foreign to me as Mars.
My wife was totally shocked by my despair and crying, I was a complete shell of my former self. My wife, up to this point, had never see me cry. I think I must have been twelve when I had cried last.
She rang her Doctor and organised for me to go and see them. My wife came with me, explained everything, including the Proscar (which the Doctor dismissed straight away, as I hadnât taken Proscar in over nine months). The Doctor diagnosed severe depression, and put me on Lexapro (anti depressants).
The anti depressants didnât help; I took them for nearly a year, with no relief from the total loss of myself and depression. Not to mention the lack of libido or loss of strength. I was so close on numerous occasions to taking my own life. I became so dependent on my wife, that if she wasnât around me, I would start to panic. Nobody, except my wife, was aware of what was going on with me. I became a total recluse, and at one stage, I wouldnât take calls from my family or close friends. I somehow managed to work. I think the savage pressure that everybody was under in work due to the recession, meant that my behaviour went unnoticed or was excused. I had to change my role within the company from been an Operations manager to just office administrator.
During this period, I lost my Father suddenly. That day was the closest I came to taking my own life. But, as fate would have it, by some miracle, my wife fell pregnant.
I knew at this stage, that I needed to fight back, hard and all as it was, not because of the fact that I was becoming a father for the first time, but, because it upset me further to see my wife so upset over me (Irony).
I tapered off the Lexapro myself, and by April 2011, I was off it. I started to research the whole Proscar / Finasteride issue, and this is when I first became aware of this Website.
I will post the second part next week, which contains information on the initial diagnoses and treatment, as I need to condense it down, so as not to be as long as this epic Iâve just written.
And the third part the week after that.