I am very sorry to hear this. My neighbour had this and they said she was likely to die, but she managed to pull through and have been healthy for a couple of years now.
And I’m sorry if this question is insensitive but since you have COPD and she lung cancer I just wanted to ask. Did you live in a polluted area, smoke or work in a line of work with air pollution?
Neither of us has ever been a smoker. I worked 15 of my youthful years in smoky bars, but that ended almost 40 years ago. Before retirement I worked 8 years in a factory, exposure to chemicals and dirty air is a probability. My COPD may have cause, my pulmonologist appointment is tomorrow.
My wife’s cancer is actually a melanoma that started as skin cancer and spread to her lung. So it may be irrelevant, but she had no exposure to polluted air. Jim
I never ever forced one who doesn’t want it to read my posts. And you know all it’s the first place where regulators, doctors, researchers, psychiatrists, media and politics look on. If they only read CDnuts and Propecia123 “having three times sex this day, feel better, look better like before PFS. It only did two years hard work with CDnuts protocol and I was heeled of all severe PFS symptoms like shrinkage and total ED” they think Merck and it’s rent boys from regulation and medical community are right. This disease is only in the head of some hypochondriacs.
And for this bitter posts I write so many young and middle aged guys talk private to me and pssd, pas guys and women too.
So dear Jim, you told us your wife, your partner for near an entire adult life, has lung cancer now?
That makes me unbelievable sad. But having a partner for life, children and a family is the greatest thing a man can have.
Thanks my friend. She’s a strong, wonderful and wild woman and it’s been my honor to have her next to me for nearly 50 years. Young guys here need a soul mate like she for support.
Alas, we never had kids so we get no support of that type. It’s just us. Jim
I think alone for this 50 years it has been worth to be on earth 
Sigh… that’s so tragic. Yet in spite of it all, this woman has the strength to be strong for you too. That’s amazing.
Based on what you’ve told us I see a lot of suffering in your life but also strong meaning/purpose (the two of you) that has kept you going. (Psychologist Jordan Peterson has REALLY insightful things to say based on his own struggles and those of his patients, about how people find their suffering is worth it if the journey is meaningful to them. I’m convinced he’s right… although I realize it may be slightly more complicated if the brain is compromised by PFS).
Some random thoughts I had: seeing how much you get out of sharing experiences with the guys in this log, makes me think that talking to a therapist might be helpful to deal with it all. Also, maybe you find it meaningful to write some of the stuff you’ve written here and that you do seem to feel strongly about, in the occasional letter to your wife… it could become a story of how the two of you are coping with all that life is throwing at you (there’s heroicism in your marriage, people make movies about this stuff!).
You say that your wife is “so much better than you.” That’s not necessarily how I’d look at it. In a great couple each party contributes their strengths (she cooks, he maintains the cars). Between the two of you, she’s the one lucky enough not to have a “PFS brain” where motivation abilities may be compromised, so she’s contributing that. Likewise there are things that you’re good at or that you can contribute / do for her (even if they don’t seem obvious at first sight or seem unimportant like a hug/making coffee - don’t discount the importance of things like that, to her, and as a result, to your sense of self worth.
I’m very much looking forward to your upcoming post, by the way.
@Exsexgod: I’m really sorry about the way I brought this up, I didn’t mean to criticize you or even make this about you. My intention was simply to encourage Jim by disproving the notion that older people are seen as worthless on this forum.
Have you tried setting your alarm extra early to catch another episode of this? And see if it holds throughout the day (hey, you never know).
The tumescence could be something that happens every night (after all, the body is programmed to have nocturnal erections). I know my penis is in a MUCH better state (like, a hint of normalcy) around the time I wake up than the rest of the day, and I’ve read similar reports by others. Not that it responds to manual stimulation (like you were trying) and I’m convinced this is because the part of the penis outside our body doesn’t have much feeling anymore and that seems to be necessary to get an erection. (What DOES seem to have a little effect for me is repeatedly pushing the base of the penis into my body (i.e. into the perineal region. So you could try that next time you’re in the same situation)
I just read Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning,” in one go. I feel I have to mention it on this forum, and I decided to mention it in your thread Jim, because I feel you and the commenters here would get a lot out of it. It’s a gamechanger. It’s freely available on google (just search for the PDF).
I just wrote this post!
“We have the right to vent about our pain! Only 100% recovery by protocols and hormones and how good I feel with PFS stories are exactly that what pharma, FDA and medical mainstream wants to here about us!”
Like you I like the motivation I get over a year here and in private groups. @BestLife and @Taw gives us the very pleasure full feeling not to be the forgotten ones, trying to give us back some sense. New friends like viking American fighter @Erik support each other. Old friends like @mstone still active. Old friends comments like @LazarusRy missing. Some friends like @bsvc totally disappeared.
I’m going on to write exactly how I feel. This fucking disease isn’t only a hormone axis disbalance treatible with some hormones and supplements.
I’m still sitting isolated and disconnected in my house, only thinking about what I have done wrong over the last 15 years after my mother died in 2007 and a former girlfriend prophesized me years of chaos. It has been one and a half decade after all with the final countdown called Mercks euthanasia pill…
For you dear Jim now things become strange COPD and lung cancer for your loving wife and we ask what have we done that life ends up in such a mess.
We with PFS from finasteride against benign prostatic hyperplasia are much older than all the young lifes stolen by lies and criminal medical trails known now by all the agencies but we are a minority in a rare patient group. Or all the other elder victims believe in their prostate butchers lies.
So our loving senior years as hypersexuel best agers end up forgotten in sadness and hold on to come through every new day.
I’m happy to have your camaraderie
It looks like a deep read, the meaning of life, found in a Nazi concentration camp. I requested it at the library. I’ll let you know. Thanks, Jim
It’s an excellent read. At least I thought so when I read it years ago. Though I must admit I’ve found it exceptionally hard to put its philosophy into practice now, arguably when it actually matters. Maybe I should read it again.
There’s something about the destruction of your own body that, for me, makes it almost impossible. I haven’t been able to read since I crashed. Though I’d assume many in the camps would’ve thought it impossible as well, so I don’t really have an excuse I guess.
Anyway, I recommend it. 
Guys, it’s time for my final update…
I continue to experience brain fog, fatigue, muscle wasting and weight gain. My coordination and balance are poor. The tinnitus is ever louder and continuous. My vision deteriorates and I have developed floaters. I have emotional and social anhedonia. Now I have developed anemia, COPD and heart enlargement. These last three may have nothing to do with PFS, we’ll never know. But these are exhausting complications I didn’t need and don’t have the desire to fight. Health wise, I’m ready to quit the battle. In the last week I’ve started choking on food and fluids if I’m not careful eating, which I’ve seen here in others.
The decision to give up comes as a result of my sexual anhedonia. I’ve gone over 3 years without sex, which may seem unimportant except for this personal aspect:
My wife and I have been “hypersexual” throughout our marriage. When younger, we could easily have sex 4+ times a day. Even into our 60s we enjoyed each other a couple times a day. Then my PFS hit. Nearly overnight we stopped having sex.
Strangely, My sexual anhedonia not only stopped our sex life, but put a mental wall up against the memories of our sexual history.
It was like I had amnesia, for 3 years I didn’t even think about sex, past or present. I was a eunuch. When others here wrote about sex problems, I skipped their posts. My friend exesexgod was torn up over his lost beauty and I couldn’t feel empathy. Sex meant nothing to me.
Recently, I had a breakdown. I was at a Cafe, and realized how sexy the waitress was, and how before I “could do things” with her.
The scales fell from my eyes. I went to my truck and bawled like a baby. I recalled my past sexual life and adventures. I thought of what I missed over the last three years. I realized the deprivation and lack of fulfillment my wife had endured. This PFS had not only decimated my sex life, but hers as well. This was all a crushing burden on me. I was lucky I made it home, driving poorly with tears in my eyes.
In the days and weeks since, I have watched porn of every type, trying to regenerate my shrunken useless cock. How could my interest in sex be renewed, only to have no way to express it? I tried masturbation hoping for a spark of life. It’s been weeks now, and despite hours of inspirational porn, my cock remains dead. I have the shrunken dick of a pubescent boy, and my balls are like ice cold marbles. Today I faced facts, I will never enjoy sex again. Some might say this is a piss poor excuse for suicide. But I’m thinking of my wife, too. She can still find a new man and have years of a reinvigorated sex life. I need to get out of her way.
I could stand not having sex when I didn’t think about it. But the desire now is overwhelming with no positive outlook in sight. I could put up with all the various illnesses I listed above, but this last straw has broken my spirit irrevocably. I will end this suffering today. I just have no desire to continue this charade. This is goodbye, friends.
Keep up the fight young men! You may still find answers. I have a stash of benzos waiting. Jim
“…Lord, I feel like going home
not a friend around to help me
I tried and I failed
And I’m tired and weary
I tried to see it through
But it was too much for me
Now I’m coming home to you
Lord, I feel like going home
I tried and I failed
And I’m tired and weary
Everything I’ve done is wrong
Lord, I feel like going home…”
I recalled my past sexual life and adventures. I thought of what I missed over the last three years.
I can relate so much. My way to cope is often to ignore reality, until it spits in your face when you’re reminded of what is and what has been. It begets a sadness that’s very insidious and almost impossible to shake. That’s the moment I have to reach out to someone. Do you have someone close to talk to? Please do. We’re here too.
Jim, I know the feeling very well. I have bawled my eyes out so many times, also almost crashing my car because of my swollen tearful eyes. I have written my suicide note multiple times in the past years. I know it’s a lot to ask, you have suffered too long and too much, but if you can still find a little bit of strength, please hold on. Not just for the sake of holding on, but because we’ve got a real chance now. I feel the tide is turning. And it might turn sooner than we think. But we need everyone on board, to fight back and be there when we finally round the cape.
In my experience, the suicidal feelings often pass when I can talk about it to someone, and there is again room for hope. Can you talk to your wife about this? I assume you have in the past. You love her and she loves you. I know you say you’re doing her a favor, but I’m sure she’ll put that thought straight to rest.
I don’t really know what to say, because I understand. I understand so much. But please don’t leave us, Jim. Please reach out to your loved ones.
I will light a candle tonight and ask whatever deity will hear me, that you may find the strength to continue.
I’m very sorry to hear this Jim, although I respect and think everyone should have the right to end their own life.
But by the sound of it, it looks like you’re libido did improve? Maybe more improvements are on the horizon.
Also did you ever try something like caverject? It’s great for inducing an erection, and unlike viagra you don’t need to be aroused.
I hope you read this message before you go. I think before taking such a decision one should explore all possible solutions (even the risky ones), I know I wouldn’t be able to rest easy unless I did.
Jim, hear me out bro.
I had the same experience: it’s surreal that we have a hard time even remembering our old sexual selves. It’s surreal. (Personally I’m grateful for every “waitress” moment… because in that moment I feel somewhat normal, even if I can’t act on it like I used to.)
But what I really wanted to tell you is that, as important as sex may be for your wife, I’m very confident she’d rather have you alive and give up the stupid sex. How do I know this: look at the choices she’s made, she clearly wants you, dude. And why would she not: look at all the memories you’ve made together over the years. She’s not gonna throw that out just to get laid. Have you asked her?
Yes, it is horrible to be confronted with what we lost. However, you’ve gotta get out of this one-sided/tunnel vision (that’s how I’m perceiving it, and neither does your wife seem to see it the way you do right now). I realize you’ve been thinking about this for a while, so you may think you’ve come to a well-thought-out decision, but trust me when I, being a neutral external observer, when I say that you’re still not in the right frame of mind for decisions. You’re in an emotional state right now and need to come back to your senses (as in: realize all these other things that matter beside sex), talk to your wife, and perhaps hear what Viktor Frankl has to say about this and worse (can I send you a summary?)
You’d be missed on this forum, your constructive advice made a difference. But the person who’ll miss you 1000x more is your wife…
Hello dear friend @JimWildman!
It is like @Cbrandel said:
I’m very sorry to hear this Jim, although I respect and think everyone should have the right to end their own life.
But if it’s becoming real it’s hard to imagine. If you didn’t, see please we are thinking about you and if you did I hope your wife will inform the community.
Jim, silly question maybe, but have you tried openly discussing all this with your wife?
I understand you are going through agony but from how I read your story I fear you are filling in yourself what your wife might be feeling or going through because of your situation.
I know such a conversation can be painful and confrontational, but who knows, maybe your wife is more considerate or understanding of your situation than you know and your interpretation of what she’s going through might be a worst-case scenario that doesn’t really reflect reality.
I’m sure your marriage rests on more than just your ability to have intimacy with her, and even if you couldn’t give her the intimacy she needs, there are probably other solutions for that situation rather than ending your life.