We have been in touch by messaging for awhile now and was alarmed by your silence. I wish I knew what to say. I send words and wishes your way because I care about you. I do not have the time, energy, or feasibility to reach out to everyone, sadly. I do not want you to sign off, not permanently. Maybe a break from all things PfS, or at least as close to it as possible, including from the forum. Then again, that is what you tried to do at the cafe. It is possible the waitress suffers from a similar syndrome with impairments too. People pretend to be okay more than they pretend to be sick. I know more people in general who work through pain, grin and bear it, than those who collect disability. Nobody truly wants to die, they just do not want to live in an unhealthy state, understandably. I cannot tell you what to do or what not to do. I would ask those who endured decades of this syndrome how they did it, but theyād probably say they had no choice with the cards dealt. There are no easy choices, or should I say reactions. I feel I am letting you down by not knowing what to say, but Iām trying.
Nothing still. Fuckā¦ weāre too late. I knew it when I saw heād posted 2 hours earlier. My reply was originally 1 sentence, to save time. Too late. I wish Iād seen it coming. Itās such a pity.
Hoping for a miracle now.
Thanks everyone for posting.
Thereās lessons to be learned here. What you focus on, grows. Donāt allow yourself to be sucked into the abyss. We need to do a better job helping people find a why in their life post-PFS.
Please try to hold on. Your wife is still by your side and you mean a great deal to her. I wouldnāt want to guilt trip anyone here because I know how horrible it all is, but leaving your wife like this could devastate her. You also donāt know what the future holds. You donāt deserve any of this and we are here for you Jim.
Ouch. Jim suffered years of torture and fought the good fight. Letās not frame this as a failure of resolveā¦this is another Merck murder.
I really hope youāre still here with us, Jim. I didnāt know you for long but you were always a good man. Goddamn these fucking criminals for what theyāve done to you.
mstone, thatās not what I meant. So perhaps I should qualify: negative feelings can compound and affect your judgment of the situation. Iāve experienced this myself and later I arrived in a better (more objective) place mentally. I just wish Iād been able to intervene, although I acknowledge that wouldnāt make the underlying problem (PFS) go away.
Bullshit, Jim didnāt misjudge anything and weāre not putting this back on him. Nobody is obligated to endure the torture he went through just because Merck and the FDA refuse to do their duty. Yesterday we had a new member sign up just to say PFS is a natural result of aging, then a veteran member agreeing with him, now this. I donāt know whatās going on here but letās not do Merkās legal homework for them. They are going to answer for Jim and the rest one day and weāre not going to let them call his murder ānegative feelings that affected his judgmentā.
Guys I think weāre getting ahead of ourselves assuming Jim is no longer with us. I would hate for him to login in here just to see that we all assume heās gone.
Jim sent me a pm yesterday. It was more or less a farewell message. I hope he was unable to go through with it and is having a period of reflection before reposting. He did say previously that heād left instructions for his wife to leave a message if he ever chose to bring an end to his suffering.
He was an extremely strong, intelligent, lucid thoughtful and positive man.
Like many he had a great life before this shit ripped his world apart.
One day the fuckers will be held responsible for the lives theyāve destroyed.
Jim will be a big miss on here, and then thereās his poor wife. Itās heartbreaking.
At least heās now at peace, one could not fail to feel his pain.
I hope Iām wrong but I think weāve lost another decent stand up human beingā¦ Merck has his blood on their hands.
Thatās very troubling to hear. His message on here was heartbreaking. I really hope he finds the strength to hang on.
Has anyone heard from Jim?
He is 64 with a wife. More reason to live than lots of us.
Iām 60 yo with a loving one by my side. But the disease knows no mercy.
Seen 4 days agoā¦no answerā¦
I hope heās talked to his wife. Courage, Jim. Wherever you are.
To my forum brotherhood:
I owe you all an apology for any concern or discomfort that Iāve put you through. I had promised that I wouldnāt disappear without leaving a message, maybe I could have handled it better. My wife has asked me to stay off social media for a week or two but gave me permission to come here and leave this message.
To summarize my adventure, my wife was visiting her mother and, when I didnāt answer a text, had a premonition and came home 2 hours early. She found me and Iām told I took a flashy ride to the ER. I was given flumazenil(sp?), and ended up with 72 hours observation on the fifth floor. Iām not sure what antidepressants they gave me while I was in the psych ward, but now I am back home and not partaking of their chemicals.
Doctor said that I may experience some respiratory or muscle weakness, and I asked myself āwhat would be any different?ā One of the doctors bluntly told me I look like hell, and I tried to explain PFS to him while his eyes glazed over and he moved on.
Iām reading your messages and appreciate the encouragement. At the moment I am still a pot of negativity, and not sure if you would want me to post my thoughts.
Again, Iām sorry for any distress I caused. Iām still here for the foreseeable future. Your brother in pain, Jim
PS:
Please resist the urge to edit or delete your messages, your encouragement gives me strength and I hope to reply to each one in coming days. Jim
Iām relieved to see you again, Jim.
Take some time off and be with your family. Weāre here if you need us.
Thank god! Really happy to see your message. Stay strong we will be always on your side to help you!
Really glad youāre still with us. Although I wish the world could do more to ease your suffering
You and me and Akyiah here are the only ones with PFS from finasteride against benign prostatic hyperplasia. So we are anecdotal cases under millions of descriptions. Much rarer as all the rare younger propecia pfs cases.
And we donāt believe that PFS is solved with hormones, herbs and supplements. Some other elder guys too.
Only because we deny that PFS is a temporary disease what can be healed by the right protocol we have a bad mindset and frustrate the young sufferers?
Why than fundraise and research, why are there awareness campaigns and research projects to find the pathology, when CDnuts can heal this disease already, with pine pollenā¦(this is the total denying of the severity of this disease, for what we so angry of the FDA and the mainstream medical community)
Even now a big project starts with more hope for the young community than ever with seriously research and announced here. And all stay with the charlatans instead of being a though community here.
And right in this moment we all suffer the same. Our lifeās are destroyed by this pharma criminals. Dot!!
We, me, Jim the other elder men know that the younger ones have lost much more life time. But this gives us absolutely no satisfaction.
Let people venting.
The hope from research is totally ignored by the community.
Only praying CDNuts and that PFS is a temporary missfeeling is exactly that doctors and psychiatrists tell us.
If I was young impotent, bedridden with weak muscles I would wonder about all the huge erections, muscle building, sex and partnership told by so many recoveries and ask what do I wrong?! And for the devil itās not pine pollenā¦