Sorry if I was accusing.
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No problem! Youāre fucked for over a decade by this horrible FDA proofed syndrome. Iām totally done after one year.
So I feel huge respect for you.
My German friend, it was good to hear from you again. You have the good memories to enjoy, ja? Stay around my man. I look ahead to your future posts when you will be telling us how you are feeling better!
Donāt pull a vanishing act, Herr M.!
Jim
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I wrote a few posts back about acne recurring and have some more to add. Over the last few days my balls have felt like ice. Urine dribbling and leakage is back and embarrassing.
My joint aches are of greater magnitude than usual, my lower back aching so much Iām tempted to sleep in my chair so I donāt have to walk to bed.
My head aches today are a return to my worst. I feel like Iām in a crash, wonder what will be worse tomorrow?
How can our body send such mixed messages? Three days back I wondered if I was recovering. Today I pray, God have mercy. Jim
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I had an appointment with my Dr today. He reviewed blood tests from the past 12-18 months with me. I have had at one time or another: low hemoglobin, low hematocrit, low red blood cells, low platelets, and a few other markers.
He had (for the first time) included B12 in my last round, and I was low on that as well. His decision is that I have anemia, and he prescribed B12. He wrote a script for the cyanocobalamin version, and I have been urged elsewhere here to try to switch to hydroxycobalamin instead. Any thoughts on that are welcome.
Reviewing articles on anemia, I found:
āā¦ anemia can cause a variety of symptoms and side effects, including:
shortness of breath.
headache
heart palpitations.
fatigue
poor balance.
memory lossā¦ā
Of course, all of those are also effects of PFS. My PFS preceded my anemic blood results by over a year, and I wondered if PFS can cause anemia? Looking through the archives I found little on that subject.
(Iāve asked him about PFS in the past, and he denies any knowledge, BTW.)
Once I start B12 (whichever formulation) I will report here on any changes in my health. Comments are welcome. Jim
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In additional bad news, the Dr called again today. The chest x-rays showed the onset of COPD, or emphysema. He is referring me to a pulmonary specialist.
I find next to nothing about COPD in the archives. PFS, anemia and now emphysema. What an effing trilogy of good times ahead. Jim
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Yes Jim my PFS and related diseases report from the University of MĆ¼nster (Prof. Zitzmann) is a page long. Before the evils own companyās perverted drug fucked us, we have been both sex gods in their thirties. Now we canāt say anymore, whatās a normal problem of the age and what is related to the devilās companyās disease.
I think the alteration of 3800 gens in their biosynthesis and activity triggers everything in our bodies. Hope every employee of the evils company gets the eternity in hell.
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Since my last post, the Dr took me off B12 but the swelling remains, maybe itās unrelated.
Iāve gained 12 pounds in the last 10 days, with no change in eating habits. Water retention?
I started taking Iron pills (on my own) to battle the anemia, Iām just 2 days into them.
Iāve noticed breathing is labored with even the exertion of walking. Iāve taken my BP on my home machine for years, and my BP is up some while my pulse has gone up and is staying around 105.
In a strange turn, my libido has improved. I find myself enjoying the female body again (visually at least), both in person and in media. For two years Iāve been a monk concerning sexual interest, my hypersexuality devastated by PFS. I still have no sexual function, though, despite the newfound interest.
It would be the ultimate hurtful irony if I improve sexually before I drop dead.
So thatās the latest. I received no advice or interest when I wrote about my copd and anemia diagnoses. Thank you for your concern, sincerely. Jim
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Dear Jim,
some of the last frequent posters disappear here: Lazarus Ray, Taw, me and you. I wrote it already. For ten thousands of victims the traffic here is low. I myself in some privat groups some times Iām to tired and frustrated to answer but we should frequent post here to show the community is on air! And there are so many Facebook and Twitter posts.
So I thought I made a post about your COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). One step more in the incredible history of PFS. But I think I didnāt.
So whats going on with you is still so close to me and our unlucky club of the elderly men that we wonāt miss you here!!
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You wonāt miss me? 
My true comrade in this war, my friendā¦ you and I are the elders, outnumbered 2000 to 1 by the younger generation; here not because of cosmetic or vain reasons, but given a medicine promising to save our lives from prostate disease, that instead was a poisonous scrip that became our death sentence. There will be no cure in time for us old fools.
The others disregard us or ignore us, after all if old people get PFS why arenāt there more victims here, they ask, insinuating this is in our heads or is some elderly body breakdown, maybe not PFS. We are invisible.
What few friends Iāve made here seem to be moving on, no matter, as I expect to be moving on as well one way or the other. I added one last song today, part of the lyrics tell:
āDeathās chilly waters, Iāll soon be crossing but His hand will lead me oāer,
And then Iāll join the quartet in that great city and sing up there forever, evermore.ā
No PFS no pain perfect body. Stay strong my man. Jim
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I feel more and more tired of all.
Have I been driven by agressivity against my enemies and self pittynes the last month Iām going more and more tired. Donāt go for a walk, donāt sit in the garden, donāt have the regret thoughts in my walking up and down endless circle anymore, donāt doing anything anymore, only tiered, laying on my sofa, even forget drinking water on the hot summer days
First time that I realize that Iām going through the last years. I have no acute diagnosed heart problems and COPD like you, but Iāve 40 kg / 80 pound overweight, extreme shortness of breath. My mother had this with 81 when she died.
And youāre 4 years in now but I feel like you. Tiered of that all, instead of living creazzy horny senior years.
I know how you feel. I was tired enough from PFS and now add copd to thatā¦
Need to lose weight, I know! I gained 12 pounds in two weeks in June, barely eating. I think itās water retention.
Youāve written in the past about the bitterness over losing your sex life, and my anhedonia kept me from sympathizing properly. Now I understand and itās soul shattering. Thatās another post, tho. Jim
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Did you have elevated BP for years?
Do you know if your BP changed before/during/after finsteride?
Sad to hear about your troubles Jim. Wish you the best.
My dadās side all had BP issues. Iāve been on Metoprolol for several years before PFS and my BP has been under control. The higher readings have started in the last few weeks. Iām contemplating buying a new machine, theyāre cheap enough.
Thanks for your concern. Jim
Hello Jim despite being extremely fit with a 1sf rate diet I went from having text book bp to it becoming eratic overnight. This was before I discovered pfs. I now now know that itās either because of insulin resistance or high cortisol, or a combination of both. Basically the disregulation is causing it. Intermittent fasting seems to be one of the few things that helps minimise the levels and as youll know standard bp management protocols donāt work for pfs.
I recently learned from another pfs vet that staying away from food and even water until midday helps the cortisol levels to a degree and can also dampen down insulin spikes.
I hope this helps a little.
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@LazarusRy
Thanks for the info, bro. Iām trying to get some follow-up from my Dr and will ask about this. Stay well as possible. Itās a helluva nightmare for us all. Jim
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Good luck my friend
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WTF Jim!
Of course we donāt question you have PFS, and you may be twice my age but that doesnāt make you less interesting than a youngster. The youngster may get more attention because thereās so many youngsters looking for a guy thatās just like them but has recovered and can share what will help them recover.
I have to admit I donāt like reading Exsexgodās posts because they sound so bitter and it makes me feel depressed, itās not good for me when Iām trying to do the opposite and make something out of my life (they can give me PFS but thereās no chance in hell Iāll let them take away my āspiritā). Just saying: his age has nothing to do with that. My respect for someone has nothing to do with age but everything with how the person conducts himself (contributes, ā¦) in spite of his circumstances. This is why Iām here reading your log and not someone elseās.
To me youāre one of the great people on this forum, your supportive messages stand out (and surely not to me alone). Thatās why I checked out your log here, because itās Jimās. Iām really sorry to read how bad you have it and Iām kinda shaken because how can a guy in that condition have the mental strength to post all these constructive posts to others, and how could I miss the fact youāre going through hellā¦
A final thought: when reading the dark parts of your log (the suffering and the evergrowing list of medical problems) I thought, this is exactly what my grandparents all went through in the last years of their lives, itās what pretty much everyone goes through if they get to an old enough age. I think they hang on and tolerate the torture to the extent they feel like they can still make a difference in the lives of their loved ones.
You seem to have a wife that the rest of us can only dream of. Can you stay strong for your wife? (or some other cause that speaks to you)
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Thank you for your encouraging message. I have a long post to share that I have put off for a week, I havenāt decided whether to add it here or make it stand-alone. Keep an eye out for it please.
Now as concerns my wifeā¦yes, she is my rock. Pushes me to keep my chin up. Inspires me to stay alive. Also, Iāve not shared this with anyone here, she has cancer in her lung. She has monthly immunotherapy and it is in remission (until it isnāt.) I force myself through the days for her. She accepts no pity or sympathy and is so much better than me.
Again, thanks for the encouragement. Jim
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