Dude, dont you freaking dare do anything to yourself before we test everyhing that may have potential to become better?..You dont want to live like that…Neither do i…But dont f*cking waste your life just like that without even trying…You have nothing to lose…You can always kill yourself later…Trying something before you kill yourself is a Win-Win situation…You owe it to yourself…(To hell with all friends and family. They dont understand shit)…You owe it to us…To try and find a treatment instead of just killing yourself is your task, exactly like mine…I dont want to live like this forever…But i wont go, before doing my part of trying and finding a solution…Just brace yourself now, and wait till this depression, and anxiety lessen in severity (And they will, i promise you that, i have been there myself), and then you can have some free mind, to try some of the possible treatments, that are out there…Just wait now!!