Ive become bitter and lost hope

Coping
#21

Thats all I hear nowadays. I’ll get better. But I’ll never be the same… I don’t think the empathetic old me is ever coming back is he? No one can confirm their emotions came back fully.

I can’t do it man, I can’t wait to see if I have a shot at living or not. I just think about suicide constantly everytime i see a tall building i think could i get up there and jump. Its just fucked dude…

i deserve this for not being grateful for what i had. the only way my family will understand how devastating this is, is when im finally dead which is sad. They keep saying ‘dont read horror stories’…

I AM THE HORROR STORY. :broken_heart:

1 Like
#22

I think about suicide every day but carrying it out is very different. Our allopregenolone imbalance brings on the particular side. Try to be objective and see that this is an inappropriate emotional response to an chemical imbalance. Some of the guys have improved in terms of emotions. Negativity is another common side While there is life there is hope. Don’t give up on you especially so early. This is irrational PFS and not you

2 Likes
#23

The very day I took the first fin pill I layed in bed and thought huh dying wouldn’t actually be that bad.

Before then I was terrified of death, existential crises constantly. It definitely changes something there that makes us suicide prone. Didn’t even realise it was PFS at that point.

1 Like
#24

Listen, its absolutely necessary for You to slow down. You have no idea what all positive and improving can happen within like a first year - even with time alone doing nothing - good things indeed. You have to let Your body and all systems a chance to rebalance and at the same time fully recreate from the basics Your current 300 km/h doomed mindset. Its essential. You wont be able to do a single thing out of Your grave, there is no way back out of there - but there are ways to get out of PFS. But being physically alive is a must here. Lets stick to strictly time now since You barely recently stopped fin. Again, give it at least a proper time opportunity now without any interventions first year. This can be backed up by MANY sufferers that its essential and may bring substantial improvements, even recovery. This is not Your end time, neither anytime soon, so please dont hurry there with Your engagement. Please, slow down. At least a full year is necessary speaking of time improving-recovering. I wish You much needed patience and strength

5 Likes
#25

Dude, dont you freaking dare do anything to yourself before we test everyhing that may have potential to become better?..You dont want to live like that…Neither do i…But dont f*cking waste your life just like that without even trying…You have nothing to lose…You can always kill yourself later…Trying something before you kill yourself is a Win-Win situation…You owe it to yourself…(To hell with all friends and family. They dont understand shit)…You owe it to us…To try and find a treatment instead of just killing yourself is your task, exactly like mine…I dont want to live like this forever…But i wont go, before doing my part of trying and finding a solution…Just brace yourself now, and wait till this depression, and anxiety lessen in severity (And they will, i promise you that, i have been there myself), and then you can have some free mind, to try some of the possible treatments, that are out there…Just wait now!!

3 Likes
#26

No, you won’t be the same, but you can do this. It doesn’t mean you won’t have a fulfilling and valuable life with PFS. My partner was suicidal a lot when I first met him. His PFS is still there, but he is able to feel things much more than before. <3

1 Like
#27

You have PFS. Your body is damaged from an unnatural substance… It is going to require diligence and a healthy lifestyle over time to start healing and kicking things back in order, even if it is minimal improvements.

Why are you using drugs like meth?

Take it from somebody who has wrestled with symptoms and struggles across the board from this shit. You’ve gotta get control over your own mind before anything else happens. Go for long walks in the sunlight. Take your shirt off. Go for a jog. Get out of your head and start tapping into your own body and evaluate how it makes you feel. And then do it over and over again, even when you don’t see progress.

1 Like
#28

And if you’re into rap music, take a listen through NF’s albums.

1 Like
#29

Dude I’m right with you and I’ve had this 2 years. And it hasn’t gotten easier, Just missed out on my last best years of life. I have a (hopefully) peaceful suicide method ready to go. 2020 is my last years and I’m so glad. Can’t take this torture anymore.

#30

Forgive me if this is a stupid question man but who’s NF? I’ve only recently got into rap music and it’s really growing on me.

#31

well you didn’t acknowledge anything I typed to you so alright.

#32

NF is a young white artist who follows God and doesn’t really curse. He is super lyrical and he can do it all. He doesn’t overdo the religion thing. Most of his songs are about overcoming struggles, following happiness, etc. Man, his music is really good…

1 Like
#33

Thanks man I’ll definitely check him out!

#34

What did you type to me?

#35

I apologize, the above message ( a few posts above) was actually not to you. I misread. Sorry about that my friend.

1 Like