Hello again guys,
I don’t think I can do this anymore, a couple of the lads on here have kept me in the fight with their offers of support and shared experiences. Outside of this forum no one understands. A new endo “for the first time” had experience of PFS sufferers and told me that theres nothing to help us, “he worded it better” Devastating but also a reality check! I am at the end of my tether with all of the downs no matter what strategies I’ve tried better off out of here! I took this drug longer than most so understand my chances of improvement are even less favourable. The odd up for a few hours “these days” due to unexpected social interaction" at the gym generally cannot counter the constant mental torture! I took the step of posting a heartfelt post on FB while also asking people to share our plight in the hope to save some unexpecting males from the temptation of vanity! surprisingly a few people personally mssgd me to say they had family experiences of this one unfortunately leading to suicide this is on a wider scale than we imagine! Don’t think I’ll be back on the forum again and going to see one of my sister’s as my last dance Some will know I’ve been here before but this is it for me. Best if luck gents! I’m lucky in the fact I had mostly fantastic years until my early 30s.
I don’t think that’s accurate. Exposure time and dose do not correlate with long term outcomes.
There’s a guy on here who posted that he said it took him 6 years to get better. That doesn’t correlate with anything sensible as far as I know. It could take less time. I don’t think there’s a set rule. I know you’re going through a terrible time at the moment but it is not too hard for you. You can do this. There will be ups and downs but things can get better.
Please don’t be another statistic. You’re a good guy and I obviously don’t know you well, but I really need you to hang on in there.
Hang in there man. I’ve been suicidal dozens of times over the last year. It will get better, the darkness you feel is not permanent.
Can you please let me know all things you’ve RECENTLY tried to help with the condition / situation?
Read my story. I’ve had improvements from a protocol. I know you can improve greatly as well.
Dear 2981,
I am sorry to hear that you are in a bad place. I understand that the situation appears hopeless given that there are no treatment options right now, but be assured that we doing all we can to change this.
It is not always apparent here with all the different discussions, but the people involved with the science side of things have a pretty good basic idea what our problem is. There are studies underway to confirm all this. There are initiatives underway to broaden the network of scientists that investigate our condition. And we ask all of you to participate in the survey.
The field of epigenetics and tools like Crisper are developing at a rapid pace. Both of them are highly relevant to our cause. The staff here is hopeful that we are close to a breaking point with regard to awareness and understanding of our condition and with a little bit of luck and help from everyone here in the community things may start to snowball.
Don’t give up on you, don’t give up on us and don’t give up on your friends and family. There are better days to come!
You have decided that you don’t want to live unless you get better. I am telling you that you can in fact continue to live even if you never get better. Plenty of people have done it and are doing it. It is a matter of deciding. It is not a matter of being able to do it.
Hope is a fickle mistress and you can’t bet your life on it. Why don’t you try something else? Accept that you will never get better. Once you reach acceptance your mental symptoms will improve and your sleep will recover. Make that switch in your mind and build a new life based on that. It can be done.
You have reasons to live. You are valuable to the world. You have a son. You have knowledge. You have skills. You have wisdom…
Choose life!
Sorry AGAIN guys
The daily suicidal thoughts and the decline in my life and overall health is taking its toll. Every day brings renewed torture everyone barring my two sisters have all but abandoned me. My son is too young to understand but knows there’s something not quite right! Outside of some of you I have next to nothing. Isolated and alone in my thoughts. I’ve tried everything, diet, mental strategies, counselling and it continues to have me beaten. The mental sides bring out the irrational, impulsive, negative emotions! I apologise fur putting this on your shoulders last night, I will try to endeavour and as said before I don’t think I’m actually strong enough to end it.thanks for the mssges of strength and apologies once again
I’m very relieved to hear from you. Thanks for posting. I was very worried about you.
As things have got that bad for you, it might be worth trying to change your strategy a little.
I know you changed your life around recently due to this, but I think that @Sibelio may have a good point. Your life is happening now. There are things you can control and things you can’t, it’s possible for you to have a better and a worse time just by your actions even if you can’t control everything.
It might be a good idea to try and do the best you can to make the most of things rather than focus on the things you don’t have at the moment. To try and make the best of a bad situation. To find a purpose, even if that just means your son growing up knowing his Dad.
Sorry to bring the worry again. The advice from yourself and others is always sound. I try to focus on what I have left which is more than some. Seeing my son get married even though he’s only 6 will be the proudest day of my life, a reason to be here that was discussed at CBT. My body is in constant fight or flight with crushing anxiety so it has me in the negativity end of world corner. I battle to get out of it but for me it’s where my baseline is! No abatement that’s why I hit the button at times! It’s really tough, no boner is the least of my worries. Sorry sounding like a victim I need to get up from the canvass for another round
I will try to change my approach to this cheers Greek
Stop apologising.
You haven’t done anything wrong and this is a place of support. You’re not going to help yourself by thinking you shouldn’t talk about how you’re feeling here. You might be better off if you talk about it before it gets to a really bad point again.
One small thing. Can you get an avatar? It makes you more recognisable. Just a picture of anything you like.
And you, @Northern_Star 
Thanks mate
I took fin for 20 years. I stopped, I crashed, I had it bad and I seriously though of ending it, the anxiety was intolerable. Then I started a zero carbs diet (Like totally zero, nothing) on which I eat only meat, saturated fat, salt and water (sometime I indulge in zucchinis and spinach or a cucumber or two.)
Within 3 days, most of the neurological symptoms were gone. Now, 10 months later, I only have sporadic insomnia and all other symptoms disappeared.
Exactly 25 years ago, I decided to end it. I didn’t tell anyone, I bought the rope, learned and did the knot and I was getting my drill to pierce a hole in the archway where I would hang the rope and then it suddenly hit me: I was doing this for real, this was no joke. Then I realized if I was ready to die, I had nothing to lose. I could run naked downtown and who cares ! I’m going to kill myself anyway. At that very moment I decided that if I’m ready to die, I’m invulnerable. I can do anything and I can always kill myself later if I want.
So I decided to do the number one thing on top of my list : start a business as a jeweler. Odds were bad, only 1% of the graduate from the school could make it. (And I wasn’t a graduate, the school kicked me out for insubordination. That’s weird, I’m never like that!) Long story short, 25 years later, I have multiple businesses and my Jewelry is all over the western countries. But if it wasn’t for me wanting to kill myself, I would never have had the guts to do it…
So you want to end it. You have nothing to lose !
How about you try this diet. Google carnivore diet and check it out. It’s quite simple: water, beef, salt and butter (or ghee). That’s it. Or if you fancy more variety, check out ketogenic diet. (you would have to take out all the stuff pfs like us can’t eat. That’s why I eat meat, animal fat and just a few green leafy veggies.)
I offer you all the support you need if you want to get started on one of these. Just reply on this post or PM me, I’ll be there.
The darkest moments in our lives are often the turning points to a future brighter than we can imagine.
Try it, what do you have to lose ?
Ozeph
And guys, if ever one of you knows of anyone that got worst by eating a carnivore / ketogenic diet and had his pfs made worst, please tell me. This diet has been of great help to me. If it can be dangerous, I’d like to know and I’ll stop suggesting it.
Thanks
Hey mate, I know it is hard for us to do much but maybe you should consider doing some part time volunteering or an easy but rewarding job even for no pay - if you are not sufficiently occupied already with parenting and other obligations. That will give you some structure and also something to get you out of the house. It will push you just a little bit so you don’t completely give up. Especially if it is something that makes you feel valuable it is going to have a huge effect on you. Even a completely healthy person if left with nothing to do at home will get severely depressed very fast. The other thing I would suggest is group therapy or any group activity like Meet Up.
I don’t know what kind of skills you have but you might find it rewarding to help train others too.
I’m in a total rutt, waiting for my departure from work to be finalised and my wife and son to be settled in their home. These are both key in my demise! I will then go to my sister’s for a month. When I return I plan to do hospital volunteer driving application submitted" which I can do on my own terms! I will look into other organizations if this is not enough. Constant feelings of being alone and isolated are awful “a symptom of depression” I do what I can to keep myself busy right now like the gym and sauna walks preparation work in the hse. I’m frghtened of my own shadow, bumping into people I know also fills me with dread. I worry constantly. From the very confident lad who just took everything in his stride!! CBT isn’t really helping, this is what brings me to exhaustion and a feeling of hopelessness.ive tried meditation etc. Its the hope of a change in fortune that keeps me going. The pitt in my stomach and constant chest pains are crushing. Even if the mental sides were intermittent i would feel much better. Cheers
Sorry to ask something potentially stupid but have you asked your wife for help? Does she have to move away? Does she understand what’s happening?
Not a stupid question at all, her family have been less than understanding about this and actually turned up the heat. I couldn’t take anymore and she wasn’t defending my corner. This is what led us down this road. She’s an only child and they lost control of her 24 yrs ago me being the cause. My son has become a pawn in this too. She has chose the easy rather than the right option. It’s all very sad mate.
Sorry if I’m getting too personal with my next questions, man. Just want to make you consider things. I hope you feel better soon. you’re in a horrible situation that I hope gets better quick. Good on you for doing CBT and workouts. You’re being proactive.
Is your wife planning on legally separating from you? If so, have you consulted a divorce lawyer or family lawyer?