Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.
Where are you from (country)?
Spain
How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)
anhedonia sexual disfunction
What is your current age, height, weight?
32, 187cm, 66kg
What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)?
one Endo told me I probably got an intoxication from very heavy BPA leaching of plastic retainers due to dissolution of the material due to acid beverages I consumed with them on over the course of 2 months (discovered later) but GP told me I got all of this from long covid and another Endo told me I was absolutely fine and to take Cialis and go live (wtf)
What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
Uknown (although I have samples and I am recently researching how/where I could test it)
What condition was being treated with the drug?
I would say dental alignment when it is confirmed that it was the bad use of retainers.
For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years)?
6 weeks
Date when you started the drug?
April 2022
Date when you quit the drug?
May 2022
Age when you quit?
32
How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
cold turkey
How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects?
4th week (25th April22)
What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?
Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.
Sexual
[X] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence (resolved in September22 so after about 5 months)
[X] Loss of Morning Erections
[X] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[X] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[X] Watery Ejaculate
[X] Reduced Ejaculate
[X] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[X] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility [have tests, results below]
Mental
[ ] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat (Jun22-July22 resolved in August22 so after 2 months)
[X] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating (residual but very present)
[ ] Confusion (resolved in August22)
[ ] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness (resolved in August22)
[X] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought (comes and goes)
[X] Slurring of Speech (comes and goes)
[X] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency (comes and goes)
[X] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks (comes and goes)
[X] Severe Depression / Melancholy (mainly present but somedays I am lucky to have an uplift)
[X] Suicidal Thoughts (May22-June22 were the worst now comes and goes)
Physical
[X] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[X] Testicular Pain (comes and goes)
[X] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness (also they weight less on my sack)
[X] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain (lost 10 kg)
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts) (no thankfully)
[ ] Muscle Wastage (still to see going to start gym next week, 30 Jan23)
[X] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain (resolved in August22 so after 4 months)
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes
Misc
[X] Prostate pain (pulsating sensation and with pain, comes and goes, same as Testicular pain)
[X] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion (without doing anything…)
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[X] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness (really decrease in acuity)
[X] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears) (only left ear, it’s like a beating drum comes and goes)
[ ] Hearing loss
[ ] Increased hair loss (my hair receding stopped in full when the onset side effects started up to date)
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature
[X] Other (please explain)
Nails shedding (May22-Oct22, Dec22 resolved and Jan23 started to shedd again, just only very slightly)
Hands inflamation (same as nails shedding although this time it’s slighty worse)
Poor circulation in hands, my hands (blood points)
Blood points in ballsack
Heart pain and palpitations (April22-May22, June22 resolved)
Insomnia (June22, July22 resolved in a mayor part)
Anorgasmia (May22-July22, August22 resolved altgough my orgasms are maybe 50% intensity of what they used to be)
Severe headache (May22-June22, July22 resolved)
Numbing of my feet (May22-August22, Sep22 resolved most of the intensity, comes and goes)
What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?
I started June22 with a natural approach, healthy normal diet (no sodas or processed) lots of walks outside and talking to my family and relatives about what was happening over the course of June-September and whose I am thankfull.
I plan to introduce a strict natural approach in 2023 making sure at least 5/7 days of the week my micronutrients are 200% to 400% covered + lots of exercises (I will start them slowly too see how I react)
If you have pre or post-drug blood tests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (please post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?
post-intoxication hormonal test taken on 23 Dec22 and seminal test taken on 30 Dec22
Hormonal
FSH
7.75, range 0.95 - 11.95, units UI/L
LH
3.41, range 1.5 - 9.30, units UI/L
Prolactine
8.48, range 2.10 - 17.70, units ug/L
171.30, range 44.52 - 375.24, units mUI/L
Testosterone (I think it is only the total one)
27.39, range 5.72 - 26.14, units mUI/L
789.34, range 118.16 - 948.70, units ng/dL
Seminal
Volum
5, range > 2, units ml
Concentration
3.86, range > 16, units million/ml
Movility
Grade 3+2 11.3%, range >30%
Morfology
Normal 2%, range >4%
Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience?
Tell us your story, in your own words, about your usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.
I hope there is a place for me here, I am alone and devastated, I hope I find some support here.
It all started in April22 when I supposedly wore plastic retainers more than I was suppossed to 2 months using same set and consumed acidic beverages while I had them on thus leading to heavy BPA leaching over the course of 2 months. [The BPA leaching is still to be confirmed by test, it is the supposition of and Endo although my Doc told me I got everything from Long Covid but I never heard Covid having any 5a-reductase effect so I will stick with the BPA until test show me that Endo and I are wrong]
At first week of April22 everything was fine, it was me as always, but at the end of April22 I noticed heart palpitations and pain
8 May22 - It’s starting
I was severely anxious, with increased palpitations and went to hospital a couple of times just to get bloods and ecg done everything was in range so they diagnosed it as anxiety and discharged me.
13 May22 - It’s getting to the bottom
continued to worsen at fast pace, started to note a constant numbing in my left feet, I could not concentrate nor read my though process was not clear and I had hard times doing any kind of task, thankfully my doctor heard me this time and stopped me from continue working, talked to family and relatives no one believed me, doctors thought I was just anxious, tinnitus in left ear like an on/off drum at random, joint pain and muscle pain.
23 May22 - Crash, bottom pit
I got extreme brain fog, everything was blurry and snowy in my vision, I could not perform any task aside from laying in bed or sofa or walking very slowly, I starting getting muscle aches. I remember talking to my cousin about what was happening to me and that I felt there was something really wrong and that I was considering two things, one was suicide if I could not recover and the other one was complete isolation in a house in the mountain until I die just for the sake of not having to relate to any human who I just started to see as different being from whatever I was becoming.
My state continued worsening up to 27 of May22 when I got a severe head pain, went to hospital, got MRI done x2 times, Neurologist told me that I got slight inflamation and migraine from over stress and anxiety and prescribed me anxiolitic drugs which I did not take. Here I stopped using the “supposedly damned” plastic retainers set which I wore the same set since April and I noticed were quite melted compared to a normal 2week used set.
Count 1 week after the removal of the supposed plastic retainers that supposedly was leaking BPA into my body at high doses
6 June22 - below the bottom pit
I can cleary remember that Monday morning very well, I just woke up and the first tihing I perceive is no more brain fog, no more heart palpitations, no more heart pain, no more snowy vision, no more anxiety, very slight headache, very slight numbing on the left feet and a monstruous calm, like overly calmed like what the hell is this observation of reality, I couldn’t feel at all! nothing! complete nothing! I freak out big time, like very big time I went to the sofa and sit there straight in fetal position with my face close to my knees and my hands holding my head and repeating over and over again that I could not feel. My mom ran towards me and started to get very worried I talked to her about everything and I wanted to cry but I just couldn’t it was all just ridiculously torturing, I couldn’t eat at all, I could not do anything other than stay in fetal position I stood there all there until night, I could not sleep a minute, I noted my body weighted like a ton and I knew my body was tired BUT I COULD NOT FEEL THAT I WAS TIRED WTF! and so I could not sleep.
7 June22 - I did not even think this was possible to be experienced by me
I ran straight to the ER and told my doctor that I wanted a mercy kill. I was freaking about and explained everything my doctor finally felt empathy of me I saw it in her face the reflect of my condition which I suppose was of extreme misery, she told me to start immediate psychological theraphy with the assistand of a psychiatrist if needed and put me on the suicide warning list or something like that, called the hospital talked to them about me. She suggested that whatever I was ongoing they were going to test everything again and that she did not recommend me by any means taking any psych drug other than by vital necesity (do or die) because the secondary effects of these drugs are often the Anhedonia I was experiencing. This was the first time I heard about the word Anhedonia. She then started to talk to me about my psychological condition and that whatever triggered it if the tests came right and I did the right things it would resolve but it will take time, a lot of time actually maybe months or even years. YEARS?! I was on day 2 asking for a mercy kill how I was supposed to withstand this (oh so torturingly did I… up to this day at least).
8 June22
I was at home couldnt’ feel anything, I legit tried everything I had without the use of hard drugs in attempts to feel something like:
- Talking to people - Nothing, couldn’t relate no chills at any situation, anyone, family included seemed as distant person to me.
- Hearing music that used to give me instant chills - Nothing for the over 1000 themes I have and the variety is infinite.
- Movies I used to enjoy - Nothing
- Hobbies I used to enjoy - couldn’t do it, it became pointless, 0 drive to continue after mere minutes.
- Yt videos? nothing
- I told my family to randomly scare me though the day - the did it right when I was not expecting but I couldn’t feel not even fear.
- Took a shitton of caffeine - Nothing I was not nervous at all the same calm that began on 6 June22 was there.
- Holding my pee for long time - couldn’t feel pleasure over the release
- Masturbate to porn - the erection was incredibly incredibly hard to achieve when I used to go instant diamonds every time for the last 15 years while happy while deppressed while sad while angry. Moreso I could not feel pleasure during masturbation, my penis felt empty inside, no sensation in the head (I am not circumsised and used to enjoy plenty of sensations in my penis gland)
- Orgasm - finally after 1 hour of tries with erections coming with much difficulty and going over and over again I ejaculated, felt nothing (this one was the most painfull to experience)
9 June22
Had visit with my doctor, I told her about everything I did on the previous day, nothing worked. I described my experimentation of reality like I was experiencing a SUPER reality, like everything seemed to be awfully real I don’t know how to described it, like I was devoid of any feeling of any kind and only a cold heavy calm remained whatever the circumstance and that the calm was torturing me it was not a humanly calm in the sense but just a too painfull calm. She told me to follow the following psychological-phyisical theraphy:
- Healthy diet
- Everyday 2h walk
- Day diary: Consisting of logging all my activities and If I felt any feeling senstation while at it
- Emotional routine: Consisting in meditation and remembering exercises of past full experiences in all details (this was extremely difficult because my imagination crashed during that period)
- Senses routine: Consisting of a set of exercises involving taste, hearing, smell etc
- Dreaming routine and diary: Consisting logging everything I remember I dreamt just after waking up and reading previous day dream before sleep a couple of times with detail.
- No bluelight after 6 pm
After I read that I call her it was all straight bullshit and if she was kidding me, she told me to trust that the psych drugs are worse and only in case of do or die, she told me to test it for the sake of having something to do that occupy my time therefore not making me being conscious of the super reality I was experiencing. I admit that was true at least so I did that the entirety of June and July.
August22 - from 0 to 0.1
week 1: Recovered pleasure feeling over peeing, recovered chills from music, movies and talking to people albeit the intesity of these being 30% of what they used to be.
week 2: Joint and muscle pain resolved, recovered a slight feel of connection towards my close family
week 3: Recovered feeling nervous and had minimal drive to try a bit of my hobbies but couldn’t last more than 30 minutes, still big improvement.
week 4: Recovered feeling pleasure when orgasms but the intesity is of 20% of what they used to be, still no pleasure from masturbation, erections were still very hard to achieve but a bit easier than in previous months
September 22 from 0.1 to 0.2
week 1: Recovered a slight sensation of pleasure when waking up after a good dream, researched about anhedonia
week 2: Recovered a slight slight sensation of libido, at least it was not 0 however erections still very difficult to achieve and maintain, orgasm still at 20%
week 3: less numbing in general in every other feeling
week 4: music feels actually okay
October 22 from 0.2 to 0.25 and freeze here
week 1: Nails shedding started to resolve, although the part where the nail meets the skin, that skin kept receded up until date
week 2: I am at 25% of what I used to be globally, with the exception of erections, quality wise and sense wise I could not feel anything at masturbation
week 3: Tried to resume doing exercises related to my work, couldn’t keep the pace but some where manageable
week 4: Rested for the entire week of any exercises, just basic healthy diet and walking 2h.
November 22 Resumed working
week 1 and 2: Testicular pain, prostate pulsations
week 3 and 4: the tinnitus that accompanied me since May resolved
December 22 Resumed holydays
week 1: Oh the morning erections are here, day on day off and at the end of the week, miracle, my libido was up for the first time and in what I would say a legit 30%, I could feel the warmth of my body when masturbation and I would say I felt a really really bit of pleasure during it but say 5% of what it used to be. I remember saying the words “OH MY GOD FINALLY ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE THIS FEELING” pretty well
week 2: Sweetest week on my entire process by a mile. I started to feel melancholic at love songs at what I would say a nice 10%
week 3: I feel weird like nervous and and anxious, no more morning erections again, no more libido… shit, get blood test by endo, endo said hormones are nice and that it’s all psychological but suggested to check seminal test to be sure (since I told him about testicular pain)
week 4: got to see uro, he tells me everything is fine albeit the testicuar pain, prostate pulsation I reported, got seminal tested.
January 22 Here we go again… 2nd Crash
week 1: All emotions numbed all of a sudden but at least I felt a bit anxious and nervous start to research about testicular pain, results of seminals, I freak out, I am likely infertile, got to see endo, endo’s face is a puzzle, he can’t understand how a supposed healthy male with nice hormones got these results, endo calls fertility center and talks with biologist, they share my results with each other and thoughs, they can’t figure out, biologist and endo suggest repeating seminals tests in 6 months. I tell endo to repeat hormone tests too but he denies until results of next seminal test. Endo tells me about endocrine disruptors being reflected in hormone and since mines were nice that is discarted, all that’s left is to confirm the seminals. If I am confirmed infertile he will freeze what’s left of my sperm and MAYBE check my testes with ultrasound.
week 2: Appoint another endo show everything, tells me about hormones being nice not really reflecting everything and that by instance BPA could mess up the axis aswell as other medications like those for hair loss. First time hearing about this, tell endo about the retainers, he tells me it is a possibility they leaked BPA big time for those 2 months and because BPA mess up with enzimes that play important role in the axis my receptors coudl be downregulated although this is only a very remotely supposition. He suggest me to get the retainers tested for BPA leaking to be sure and to check my urine.
week 3: BPA in urine seems 1000 below range, 2 week retainers without ingering liquids while on them are working fine, I research about hormone receptors, studies of BPA downregulating big time 5ar types 1 2 and 5 (the whole set) I also research about hair loss doing drugs doing same things. And finally I end up in this forum lurk for days and decide to share my story.
That is all, the amount of torturing events I went from May-July before getting a bit better in August are beyond any punishment I could imagine. I would not wish this not even to the Devil himself.
Today, 28 of January my major problems are that emotional numbness returned in say 80% as well as 0 libido, 0 morning wood, very very difficult to get and maintain erections, 0 feel when masturbating but at least 5% of orgasm feeling. Down there I feel like I am a child, my testicles feel really light and small and my dick empty. I also freaked out big time a couple of times because when reading about PFS and everything you guys went and how close I can relate to you left me a very bad feeling that I may be in the same hell as you all and I may stay here for years… knowing not even a possible recovery could be achieved…
My next actions are:
- Start natural protocols the entire of 2023 or at least as long as I can go before starting any drugs.
- Get to see my doctor on 2nd february and update her, beg her to appoint me a complete hormonal test that reflects estradiol dht and all the missing hormones, if she denies (she will because she claimed everything on long covid as root cause…) I will search and wont stop until I find and endo that appoints me the tests. There should be something off, I must try to get the solid proof to claim PFS because otherwise no one will ever believe me.
- Get 1 year off or straight quit my job, I can’t and won’t go on 8h work routine until I get this fixed, whatever the time it takes, I am priorizing the 100% of my time to do anything I feel like could work in fixing me at least to a 25% I don’t ask for much…
- Try to test the melted retainers for BPA leaking, even If I had to purchase an urine test (knowing my urine is fine) and immerse the retainers for a couple of hours to achieve getting the data I need to confirm or discard the BPA theory.
My wish for 2023 is to somehow get into the same state I was in the 1st week of Dec23, If my body is permanently damage then how I could get to that point? I am holding my entire life in the fact that, that precise week I could get my back self again even if it was at 25%. My body did it once it should be able to do it again, there’s shouldn’t be nothing holding it back.
My family and relatives are aware of my situation, although they don’t believe that I am broken, they just believe it’s just a phase and that I will get to my 100% with a lot of time. I told them about PFS and how it relates to my condition but they just can’t believe me. They hold onto the nice hormones results to support that I am fixable. They know I am really affected by being infertile and that my current sexuals functions are miserable but they just keep telling me it’s a phase and everything will resolve.
I am thankfull because my family and relatives in a way support me and share my pain albeit not being able to comprehend me internal experience and I don’t blame them for not sharing my point but god… I feel so so so really alone…
I’ve never ever experienced sex, I’ve never ever had any relationship, I had high hopes that in the coming years I could find someone, I was really a driven hopefull sports man whose entire world revolved around that hope, any exercise or anything I had to endure was worth it towards that hope.
I am now a broken impotent infertile man and I fear I may never recover. I am going to try because that’s all I would do, but I fear I could kill myself if the years go by and I can’t return to that miracle 1st week of Dec22… heck I don’t care about infertily I just wish to be able to feel again at a solid 25% including down there and libido wise.
I hope we could get along I wish for a miracle for all of us, it needs to be fixable at least partially, with time… it just has to…
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