How long before calling quits?

Coping
#1

Hey guys,

I’m getting close to two years in a few months. Unreal, two years of my life gone like that. Misery. I pray for you all, you’re all very brave people. I wonder how long to wait before calling it quits. Is four years a reasonable time? I’m so tired. I want to work, I want to build something, I want a future. I’m just so exhausted. Every day. Yesterday I worked out, did a few sets of biceps and triceps. Today I could barely get out of bed. At the end of the day, you’re alone with this shit too. No one really cares, it’s just you. Everybody moves on. I just want my peace. I want to end it but I’m to much of a coward. I need some type of drug to put me in a deep anesthesia followed by respiratory failure and death. I pray to God if there is no recovery for me please give me uncurable cancer. What even is this, living nightmare.

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#2

I agree. In a same situation as you.

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#3

I can/do relate nothing but global physical decline and issues with emotional pain but while we are alive there is hope, with hope anything is possible. Never give up some have recovered at the 5 year mark. Believe this will be you.

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#4

Never ever…ever give up

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#5

You told us, you live with your family and you are in a relationship. I think fin and other hormon disruptors make it impossible to join the social live outside but its although impossible to stay allone. So you have a supporting backround. After all the internet warnings of pfs your parents cannot deny its existing.

With this family background you ll never stay allone and you can handle the ugly torture for a time.

Its hard to arrange with the new situation as a chronic damaged person.I know well the pain cock doesn’t function. Its a horror done to us.

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#7

I shared this with @Exsexgod recently, but I think it’s relevant for any patient thinking about giving up. Trust me, I have been there hundreds, if not thousands, of times myself.

Please, please do not give up. We genuinely need all of us in this battle, as we are the proof that this disease exists and has destroyed countless lives. I can assure you, myself and the PFSN team, along with the PFSF, are working extremely hard every day to find a way out of this. It takes time, but we are making progress.

If we give up, what we are saying is we are ok with this problem being dismissed. Your life - our lives - are worth far more than that.

I am always here to talk if you just want to speak over the phone. Let me know and I’d be happy to organise something.

Take care :heart:

Same applies to any patient thinking about giving up. Reach out and I’m happy to chat.

Take care.

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#8

Wait, are you Mitch? Wasn’t you healed? Jesus Christ, this really killed the last fragment of hope that I had

#9

I’m not sure where I said I was healed. I’ve improved for sure though.

#10

Well, I remember posts of yours from lots of years ago (as Mitch) saying you were almost healed by lifestyle, liver detox, thyroid armour, etc. Saw you didn’t login here for a long while.
I just thought that it was because you were fully fine, since you were almost like this like 15 years ago. Sad for you and us all. And hope we can get there someday

#11

I think that’s another Mitch my dude. I haven’t had PFS for 15 years.

#12

Well, I’m very confused lol. But I’m referring to this one here @Mitch . Don’t know if it’s the same or not, but sorry for the misunderstanding

#13

Ah yeah, that’s a different guy. Sorry you’re not doing too well at the moment man. Let me know if you’d like to speak over a call.

#14

Is there any skill you could learn in order to have a lucrative career after recovery in a few years? Do you have average or higher intelligence so you could learn how to code or do data science? These are skills best learned at home on a computer anyway and are very lucrative. It’s trite, but a great way to handle lemons is to turn them into lemonade. The future of education is online anyway. There will not be overpriced universities anymore. You can take online classes with Coursera and edX, get great at something, and surge ahead of all the people using tinder, chasing skirt, hanging out and watching Netflix these days. Once you recover you will be in a better position than if you had never gotten PFS in the first place.

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#15

I like this

#16

You haven’t been back for a while, brother, are you still with us? Maybe you’ve been recovering? Fill us in…

I’m in my fourth year of prolonged torture, and back at that two year mark I would not have believed it would hang on. But it has, daily bouts of exhaustion and brain fog.

I want to quit the battle; I think about it daily. Some nights I retire wondering if I’ll awaken the next day. Then I do, and I put one foot in front of the other and slog through another day. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better, even a little bit. Hope springs eternal.

Check in, update us. Keep fighting! Jim

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#17

Hey man

I’m still here, unfortunately my situation has not improved. I wish I could come back with positive news. I’m kind of just existing right now, like a robot if you will. I’m managing to work full time, but I’m dragging myself everyday and it sucks seeing how low energy I am compared to my colleagues. The mental state while I’m working is just weird. I work in customer service and I notice my cognitive decline is affecting my work alot. I’ve kind of just accepted that this is permanent. Last night though I started crying before bed, tear after tear. I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t even thinking about anything. I wish I was dead, I’m not living I’m just existing.

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#18

@ruinedlife
So good to hear from you again! The daily struggles you describe echo what so many of us experience. It’s despicable that merck goes unpunished.

I see you’ve written your member story! I’ll move over there for further comment. Jim

#19

I completely understand all of your words as I’ve abs all have felt the exact same way man.

I know it’s awful

But you mustn’t think it’s permanent
Things are moving abs happening
Let that guide you to better thoughts. Or at least let it be a catalyst for more positive thinking

Give it some more time. You may very start to feel better bit by bit

Keep going strong. You must man

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#20

@ruinedlife
@JimWildman
AFAIK, many recoveries happened even after a long time of no progress with the condition, in other words, recovery may be actually around the corner and you don’t even know it (that being said, I would still reccomend a healthy life style regardless), nobody really knows with this disease.
It’s an interesting phenomenon to study IMO, how your body just switches one day and starts to drastically reverse epigenetic changes or something.
Just stay strong for now, if you manage to keep on living as you are right now, when you eventually get better it will be as if a weight has lifted and you will be unstoppable, or at least just very happy; for me personally, the fact that I can heal is mainly what keeps me going forward.

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#21

Thanks for the positive encouragement. I do agree with everything you say, just holding on for the moment and yes just the thought of suddenly recovering is what keeps me going too. I try to say away from environments which remind me of my sexual sides, so work is the only place where I feel some relief. Wish you the best🫶🏽

1 Like