Hey guys, I actually used to post on here with another name but… I decided I oughta make a new name so you guys don’t judge me.
Okay so here’s my story, at the age of 19 I tried taking propecia for only a short time, but it ruined my libido, persisting a very long time. I tried sustain alpha and diesel test and all that with limited results. Yeah so okay, I got my good days and I got my bad. I think the worst part is the lack of confidence having this sorta problem causes.
Okay fast forward a little bit, I’m 20 years old and I meet a pretty lass 18 years of age. For the short amount of time I’ve known this girl I very much get the impression she could quite possibly be the love of my life. She likes me too, possibly even more than I like her, so everything is awesome, so the night comes and she’s all prettied herself up and whatnot, and I’ve got myself a couple drinks in me and the time comes when I go as far as to smoothly and succesfully get her to be alone with me and it’s the “moment” to start kissing and making out if you know what I mean. If I could go back t this night I would not have had a single drink of alcohol and I probably would have successfully gotten into her bedroom and made things happen with probably 50/50 chance of success.
Of course after all this happening I get a stream of unreturned phone calls. Alright well, as you can imagine this event sends me into a whole world of negative feelings, and it’s not like I was the happiest person to begin with. I also live alone in an apartment and sitting around at night all by myself I get a whole bunch of negative thoughts crowding my head and haunting me. Thoughts of lowered self-esteem, regret, self-loathing, pain, etc. I first experimented heroin when I sniffed it back when I was about 17 or so. I didn’t really enjoy it much back then, and I hated how I got sick if I did it for more than a couple days straight. Heroin’s the kind of drug that doesn’t really hook you unless you’re a person with a lot of negative shit going on your head. It dulls all your feelings, and if you’re in a pretty good place mentally you find it unnecessary.
Another thing that kept me off heroin, is that getting a hold of it involves going to the ghetto and basically finding a black dude whose standing on the street to sell it to you. Doing this sort of thing is possibly the most unnerving thing in my life. I’m not so much afraid of getting shot or robbed, but moreso of getting pulled over by a squad car or detective around the corner and getting felony charges on myself. Okay well anyways, I get i contact with my neighbors from back at my parents house, two scumbag addict brothers, one of which doesn’t shower all that much. Since these guys have been addicts for years they have dealers to call on the cellphone who will meet them up in non-ghetto parts of Chicago. This way it’s basically like buying pot, and I have never been arrested for having pot in my life. To top it off, these dealers sell their stuff in supplement capsules instead of the usual tin foils, so the stuff is easily swallowable if I was going to get pulled over.
Well I start off doing it on and off to make sure I don’t get sucked in, but one thing leads to another and before I know it I’ve moved on from sniffing about 10 or 20 dollars worth every 3 or 4 days or so to shooting up 5 or 6 bags every single day. Other than my newfound ease of acquiring the stuff, another reason I got addicted like this is that the two addict brothers would sell me the subutex (buprenorphine) pills that their therapists gave them which is supposed to ease withdrawal, while I was doing it about 4-5 days at a time the subutex basically eliminated all withdrawals. But after shooting 3-6 bags every day for about 2 months, I was going to feel the withdrawal no matter what, and I didn’t have enough pills to make me not feel it. The fact that I quit also has a lot to do with my mom finding out about my habit which was something tough.
It’s really amazing, I am finally clean and sober while I am typing this, but going through withdrawals, regardless of how much pain and suffering I was in, I was getting a ridiculous amount of erections. And right now as I’ve finally gotten through the withdrawals, I feel like I’m 13 again and popping erections left and right, more than I know what to do with, even after jacking off like 3 times in a day, even after I’m all dried up. It’s like I’m going through puberty again and rediscovering myself haha.
Believe it or not, this is scientifically legit too, just read the following forum thread from the bluelight forums: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=406860. I actually really suggest ANYONE reading my post to read the bluelight thread as they talk about mechanisms of sexual arousal other than just testosterone, there are other, quite possibly equally as or even more important chemicals in your body that have to do with arousal and erections. One important thing I noticed is how someone posted about exciting your sympathetic nervous system. I really do wonder if there’s ways to replicate these mechanisms without doing heroin. Maybe someone who is here can look into it.
The old saying goes that heroin is a tough horse to ride, and that is definitely true. I can’t say I condone this, but if you want to try it out I would think you have to do H every day for a minimum of a full 2 weeks(14 days) every day with no breaks, I hate to say this but I think the longer you might be addicted the more there’s a chance of a libido burst during withdrawal. I doubt it’ll matter much if you sniff or shoot it, both methods cause chemical dependency. Once you have set a good day to begin your home detox, you may want to get a hold of a therapist or doctor who can prescribe you subutex or suboxone pills, they can help a lot and ease the pain, I’m not totally sure how much they have a potential of reducing your libido during withdrawal, but I took dosages that were enough to make the withdrawals somewhat bearable after the first 2 days yet still retain my libido. During this time I guess it might not hurt to use some sustain alpha to give an even greater boost to all the “feel-good” chemical production rebounding into your body, hell take the full testosterone recovery stack. After enduring about 4 full days of withdrawal (you don’t start feeling better until you’ve been withdrawling for 72 hours which is 3 days) I took one low dose cheat shot of H just because I couldn’t bear it and I hadn’t slept one bit, and tada, no withdrawals once the effects of H wore off, hell I didn’t even enjoy the shot it just made me feel normal, it is CRITICAL to wait at least 3 days before a cheat shot (this is a trick that NO drug counselor will ever tell you about).
Now, as to acquiring it. I live in the Chicago area so all I’ve ever seen is mostly white, sometimes slightly tannish snortable powder which can also be cooked in a spoon with water for injection, and then the cooked fluid is sucked up off the spoon when the needle tip is inserted into a tiny ball of cotton. I’ve never seen black tar heroin in my life, and that stuff you can only smoke on a tin foil or inject, to inject black tar requires using an acidic liquid to cook with such as orange juice, as crazy as that sounds. I have never shared a needle in my life, and I re-use needles that I’ve used as rarely as possible. I live in a state that fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, sells insulin syringes over the counter at any pharmacy like walgreens or CVS for 2.50$ for a pack of 10 syringes. Being someone who still holds a level of self-respect I also used alcohol pads to clean up the area of injection before injecting.
Like I said I live in chicago, and if you also live around chicago, acquiring heroin basically involves taking a cruise down I-290 and getting off an exit like cicero or independence, and then cruising the side streets where african american dealers will basically yell out to your car if you are white. These guys might sell other drugs like crack or weed too, but the slang term for H is “blows” and one bag or “blow” costs 10 dollars. I get the feeling the cicero area has more cops and is overall more ghetto, but the whole chicago westside area seems to have more regular white people cruising through the area than it did in 2003, I think cause some city gentrification has been going on. Generally, the younger guys are more likely to rip you off and sell you empty bags, so I think the dudes that look like they’re older than 20 are more likely to be legit.
I think that if you live nearby a sort of urban metropolitan center, chances are that ghetto streets exist where they sell hard drugs publically. The general process is they yell out to your car, the drugs are usually not on the guy on the street, but will be fetched for you upon inquiry. Hell there are internet websites, some of them cop websites, that tell you where they sell this shit. Some example neighborhoods would be North Philadelphia, and the Bronx in New York City.
There is risk, and a whole lot of pain involved in this method. But it has worked for me, and it also makes sense to me that it actually involves chemicals other than testosterone.
I’ve never seen or even heard of anyone having any GHB in my life, and I read about how GHB has been used to cure the problems. Something kinda tells me that GHB might actually work better since you can actually wean that shit off, but if you want a libido burst with H, you pretty much have to endure the pain of cessation. I don’t condone this shit to anyone, but I will tell you that withdrawal raising libido is a fact.