i also have a hard time crying/ feeling sad
Just a quick update, breaking my silence. The mental sides got horrible in the end, really overtook the sexual sides, to the point where I had to do something - so I bought and tried dessicated thyroid and pine pollen extract. That was a complete and total turnaround in terms of mental sides, and sexual sides DEFINITELY improved. If I was about 30% of my former self sexually, I was definitely getting closer to 60% and nocturnal semi-erections returned!
I think Ashwaganda has stunted this improvement slightly, so I’m dropping that. Taken it for four days now and think that’s been causing the slight downturn.
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And another break in the silence - I might just update occasionally.
Bit of a crash last Sunday, not entirely sure what brought that on. Dropping the pine pollen for now since Saturday.
Trying a strict 5-day water fast, on day 3 currently. Do feel a little better mentally, physically I’m not sure but weak-ish nocturnal wood has definitely been returning the last week. No real/any morning wood, but ‘rises’ pretty easily in the mornings. In general erections are about 90%, sometimes dropping off a bit, but in a general sense much better than I was. JUST ABOUT managed to have sex for half an hour on Saturday, but did bung down a taladafil for that. I think I am missing a little sensitivity on the penis having done that and thought about it.
I was going to try and stay off all supps, but have just HAD to try something, was a VERY rough time last week. Currently take:
AM:
Vitamins - D 10,000iu, A 5000iu, K2 100mcg, Mucuna Pruriens, Catauba Bark, Thyroid gland (dessicated) 390mg.
MIDDAY:
Liposomal Vitamin C 400mg, Pituitary gland (dessicated), Niacinamide 500mg.
PM:
Phosphatidyl serine 100mg, ALCAR 500mg, Phosphatidyl choline 840mg, Pycnogenol 100mg, L-Citrulline 1g, GABA 750mg, Glycine 4g + 2x tablespoons sorghum flower + 1/4 teaspoon baking soda mixed up in a glass.
I’ve heard stranger things fixed people. Fasting is free after all and (allegedly) helps reset hormone imbalances.
When the fast ends I’ll see how I am eating clean in a week’s time. If no improvements then, I’ll continue and see, and add in dessicated prostate and liver, read that pretty much fixed someone.
For the fast I’ve been on 1/4 teaspoon baking powder (sodium bicarb) morning and night in tap water and it’s definitely helping something. I’ll get myself onto 1/2 teaspoon before the end of the fast on Friday.
If NONE of that works in a month I’ve got 5-ADP, Pregnenolone and Pansterone on order, as well as Hardrock’s R-Andro. I’ll try the first two, then if I’m still not improving after that I’ll cycle the R-Andro for 6 weeks, then take 4 off. I’m not sure if it’s sensible to run a PCT for it, and I gather it is suppressive.
All in all, I’m a little better than when I crashed the first time and found life not worth living. Slight improvements in erections has been brilliant really, although they are only slight it’s something. Brain fog and mental sides are better this week; could be the fasting and could be the baking powder.
Of course and as always any and all advice and opinions and anything received happily.
Hey I’m also having some mild Ed and a bit of penis curve to the right. Don’t know if it’s in my head, do let us know what helps
I am not taking anything, just want to beat it naturally
@jinstewart, will you know what’s helping / making you worse with such a huge selection of supplements?
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I’m not sure I will know really. I’m thankful something seems to be, the way I am feeling though I just have to try something. These didn’t look too bad to try, and I’m fairly sure the thyroid helped particularly.
With the rest of them, they’re ‘hormonal’ which I was certainly trying to avoid, but have helped people.
I’m afraid the desperation seems to be winning out. I can’t face this without trying all I can. 
I get it but you’re still 2 months off?
If I was a betting man, I’d guess that time has done more for you than whatever Catuba Bark is.
Obviously, I wish you all the best, but please be careful with all these things you’re introducing into your system. I’ve been told of someone who crashed using Sorghum. Some people will report improvements with things that crash others. As said to you earlier, you could very well improve naturally, without supplemental assistance.
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Greek I’m so surprised I’ve not exhausted your patience at this point. Thank you so so much.
I think I’m feeling a trend, in that I seemed to crash badly last night, and feel better today. I’m still feeling my way around things and symptoms, but today I definitely feel ‘lifted’ - haven’t eaten in 4 days almost (fast ends tomorrow) and broke up with my new girlfriend last night, slept like crap…
…But definitely good. In fact, this is probably the best day I’ve had since the first crash. Chatting to a colleague earlier did have a spontaneous 60% erection (the trousers held that one in thankfully.) I’ve noticed myself feeling despair of something, posting something up here when I feel like I can’t take it, order a bunch of random supplements from panic-reading, having an agonising night, then feeling much improved the next day.
Is this also in itself a symptom?
I’m also sorry if I’m filling this place up with spam. I’m hoping though someone in future might come across this and read my “saga” and if and when I do get better learn from it (or learn from mistakes I make.) On that front, I don’t think the sorghum actually does much of anything for me.
Thanks again - I’d be so lost without this place.
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I think it’s ok to be scared and worried.
My Stats for this forum show I’ve read 23000 posts here. I know what it’s like to feel stressed, scared and hopeless and to be looking for help and advice.
If you want to just talk about things people here are nice (generally). I think it might be helpful for us to have places where we can talk about life in general or films or music, it doesn’t need to be all about your symptoms if you want to reach out and get a little support. Being able to communicate and feel less alone is significant. Your mental approach will make a big difference to how you are able to cope with things. You’re already doing better than a lot of people do. You’ve already got better.
Try and take a break from worrying. Easily said. Focus on your improvements, not the things that are yet to improve. Remember how bad you were and how quickly you’ve got better.
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I’ll try to. Thanks hugely again.
And it would be nice to have an area like that - thought about wishing everyone Merry Christmas yesterday afternoon but couldn’t find the right place for it.
Seeing as it is Christmas I’ve got a relaxing one planned - family taking care of me for a few days, New Year will be an undemanding night in, week off work. It’ll be nice to just “be” for a while watching garbage, eating clean but plenty, and will be my second week off the gym (which I’m not totally enjoying, will be good to get back.)
To anyone reading, it’s a shame we’re all here - but I hope you get to enjoy some of (if not all of) your Christmases this year.
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The FIRST the VERY VERY FIRST 20% MORNING WOOD today since! I also ‘felt’ like myself yesterday evening, and do now tbh. Certainly had a very hard nocturnal too! Felt that ‘drive’ and the ‘joie de vivre’ or ‘gumption’ or whatever you’d call it from life before! And not just because of this, but from late last night too.
Next year I’m working overtime and donating £1000 to the foundation. I’m fully aware this could be temporary, fully accept there could be steps backwards etc… but dear God.
I’m not religious now, but I’ll pray for myself and for you all. Just typing this from bed even, not been awake 5 mins!
Thank God, just a solid little hint of getting back to myself!
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Congratulations, that’s great news. You might be right to think that setbacks might occur but I would take this as a good sign that you’re capable of getting better and that if you don’t do anything crazy, your body will keep improving.
Nice idea with your pledge to contribute to the foundation too.
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Thank you again Greek for everything you do here and for all your patient advice! I’d have been hopeless without you, Baz, canabis, and everyone who’s offered me such vital support. As well as the work awor and axolotl and the intellectual crew do (as a side note, those folks must be superhuman, doing the research they do and operating on the levels they do with PFS too!)
There’s no question in my mind this forum has saved lives. I’ll donate my monthly amount for as long as it takes to find a treatment/cure. And for a day when you go to the doc’s with “a spot of PFS” and get fixed.
Yes, I’ll try and be zen about setbacks, should they happen. Falling back sometimes to a baseline or slightly improved one is part of things from what I’ve read. Just in case I do regress any.
Vitamins, no more wacky ebay supps, paleo diet, no caffeine, back to gym week after Christmas. I’ll see how I go.
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Whoa, no need to go crazy. I’m unaware of any need to drop caffeine.
Hehe, yes I don’t think it’s PFS-centric. More that I’ve done the detox over the 5 day fast, so now I’m not doing ANYTHING to upset the status quo. Clean eating, keep supps up for now, begin tapering off I guess if things stay (please God let them stay) over the next few months. Gym again (CANNOT wait, miss gym so bad.)
Fingers crossed…
Good luck, keep us posted. 
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Thanks again all! Well, I’m not as good as yesterday, if I’m honest. However I did sleep like a rock for the first time since my crash. Masturbated 3 times since last night, first was perfect - a little sensitivity lost for sure, but erection fine. Second I woke up early, fed cat, did and slept, was fair. Third one when I woke up again - bit forced, erection went weak a bit more during but that has got better. Semen sometimes thin-ish, sometimes thick-ish, but never has been clear or outright watery.
Aware I’m a little emotionally blunted, lacking motivation, touch of anxiety on and off. However I’m feeling a bit ‘zen’ about it - I mean, we’re PFS guys and we’re a tough, persistent bunch! Setbacks are fine, though it’s human to be a little disappointed I guess; would always be a nice idea to find the proverbial magic potion to sort this.
Anyways, rambling aside I’m not sure where I am in terms of healed from this. I’ve improved myself though, I’m certain of that - how long for I’m not sure really. Maybe the whole exercise gained me 5-10% improvement; if 100% was me pre-crash and 20% post-crash then I’m probably somewhere around 35-40% as of right now.
BTW does anyone else grind their teeth unconsciously? I’ve found I’m doing that!
Yes, I have to consciously relax my jaw sometimes. I don’t know why but that comes with periods of worsened symptoms.
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Mood - 7/10
State - 6/10
Funds - £10/£1000
I’m going to try and keep the above numbers in now as I do tend to ‘dear diary’ an awful lot in this thread.
Mood is quite good (well, “PFS good”) - I tried that 3x/day masturbation thing last two days, managed 5 yesterday and tbh glad of a break today! Takes a little to get hard, but stays hard a little better now. I’m not doing that again though… Very very very sslllooowww improvements, good days and bad days, but I think I’m seeing a trend. If the crawl continues I’m hopeful for 2020. I totally wasnt getting nocturnal wood after the crash, I am getting hard-ish ones now, and once even slight morning wood. Grateful for any and all good signs.
Went for a little run after eating tons of Christmas dinner today, that’s definitely lifted spirits some. I’ll also be logging the funds until I reach my donation amount, which might take a while! I’ll get there though. Cardio I’ll just ‘do’ now, definitely a benefit there.
Do hope you all had good Christmases.
Mood - 7/10
State - 6/10
Funds - £20/£1000
Raided the penny jar, a little more set aside.
So, joined the ‘dark side’ after a panic/bad bad day in December and ordered Pansterone and 5aDHP form idealabs. They’ve finally arrived and made SUCH a difference. Read on the Ray Peat fora of a few folks recovering using these and Cdnuts’ protocol, so I’m trying that. I think baking soda disagrees with me a little, could be overuse, so dropping that.
Feel maybe a little brighter, maybe. Work is definitely easier - it’s a stressy place at the best of times but I’m doing ‘OK-ish’. Went to the gym, cold showers (goodness I do hate those) and a ‘fundamental’ feeling of driving to get better. I’ll see how long that lasts and how I do when I’m freezing to death under the next ice-cold shower!
I’m disheartened (as I’m sure we all are) that it’s been a solid 2 months since my crash and I’m not magically all better, but hey ho - I’m certainly doing better than I was. Sleep is on a small decline currently which is pants but I’m getting a solid 6-7 hours so have ZERO right to complain about that!
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