Emotional Blunting and Anhedonia

Symptoms Neurological
#41

During recovery from my first crash in March I experienced emotions to some extent everyday and had some days that were amazing. Since hitting my head a few weeks ago I have lost all emotions. I feel disconnected from the world. Before then meditation and exercise were working extremely well and I could feel my moods lift and enjoy various parts of the day.

I just realised the other day that my motivation to keep going for my family had gone and I no longer cared what people would think if I committed suicide. At least when I had periods of depression I would also have periods of feeling joy and motivation in what I was doing.

I’m sure if I could go to work it would help take my mind of things but PFS has left me stuck at home with high cortisol and a brain that crashes from drugs or supplements. It feels like check mate right now and there is no way out of this. If there was a way to fix these brain crashes I could go pretty much anywhere in the world for treatment but I simply don’t know how to solve this issue by myself. I don’t know if its the CNS that causes the crash.

I could go on holiday but I don’t feel excited about anything. I used to love traveling so it’s not like me to feel unenthusiastic about seeing new places.

If I could go to work and earn a living then that’s all I’d need to pull me through this. Holding onto as much normality as we can seems a powerful tool to keep us going.

My current routine is simply not beating this emotional blunting. I fear if my symptoms worsened it would be enough to tip me over the edge. I used to have such a determination to see this through but since my latest crash that has slowly faded. I’m getting counseling but I don’t know if that would be enough. Previously I could accept my symptoms, but this loss of emotions affects every waking moment of my life and gives it so little meaning. Reading the comments on here I’m not alone in this situation but that doesn’t make it any better.

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#42

Maybe you should just go anyway? Who knows, it might help against all odds.

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#43

This is far and beyond my worst symptom.

I don’t know the cause nor the solution. I have had windows of recovery though where I essentially felt how I used to. Feelings in all their forms, both positive and negative, elated and sad, optimistic and depressed, felt wonderful, and natural, and so essentially human. Certainly something I long took for granted. We never truly appreciate what we have until we lose it.

I suppose that is true even of us in our current states. We could lose more, and we should be thankful that we still have the ability to move, the ability to think, the ability to make a difference. There is so much more we could lose that we would only appreciate after the fact.

I have committed to living my life in the same way as I would if I didn’t suffer from anhedonia. I still hang out with friends, I still walk along the water’s edge even though it doesn’t stir my emotions in the way it always did. I still go on holidays even though the landscapes, sights and smells don’t conjure up any wonder. I do it because it’s what I would have done had this not happened.

I’m staying true to myself. My old self. This September I am travelling from Australia to the US for the first time, and will be going to the city I always longed to visit, New York.

Do I expect to feel even the slightest inkling of emotions? No. But that’s okay now. I’m still doing what I wanted to do, and emotions or not, I am carrying on.

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#44

@orthogs You’re amazing! Just wanted to say that out loud!

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#45

I hope the sage brings some relief

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#46

Thanks for your inspiring words, they are something I will read many times.

‘Staying true to yourself’ is something we can easily forget in times of stress. Those aren’t just words they’re a mindset.

We have some great people on this forum.

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#47

Has some got back their emotions and feelings? I feel totally numb, just wanted to know if get them back again.

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#48

Are even sounds, tastes, smells, etc dulled down for you? Like all of your senses are stifled?

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#49

No, I can smell and taste. I just don’t feel any emotions, feeling spaced out all the time

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#50

How’s that sage coming along?

#51

some people have gotten it by taking risky drugs that increase allopregnanolone but most of us are stuck with it for now

#52

Anyone improved Anhedonia/feelings?

#53

personally i have not

some people have though using drugs that boost allopregnanolone, but it doesn’t come without the risk so i wont

ive been keeping up with a lot of research on mental side effects, particularly anhedonia and cognitive abilities, you can check my posts in the science section

im fairly optimistic we will have some good therapeutics for this side effect short term. mid term looks even better

#54

Could you tell me more about these therapeutics and when they can help us?

#55

i have too many posts to go over and link, if you just go to my profile and look them up it would be easier.

im optimistic about Sage-217 short term, and after baylor study drops we MIGHT know which gene expression targets might help us. if we are lucky there could be 1 or 2 things that may help

as for mid-term, there are a lot of hdac’s in the pipeline for biotech companies that will help with depression in general. KOR inhibitors are also developing which will directly help anhedonia

im an eternal optimist FYI, none of this means we will definitely have something usefull. all of these drugs could end up being harmful to us or have no effect

at the end of the day our priority should always be to figure out what exactly is wrong with us, on a molecular/scientific level

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#56

Yeah i know but im sitting with my girlfriend and i dont feel any connection for her or something. It is scary and im looking for something. I know im early 2.5 months off and 1 after crashing but you know my struggle. Kor is in study 2 phase so it will still take years for it. Sage is very expensive, too expensive. I hope we can get something out of Baylor. Is it next month?

#57

thats what rumors say - next month

in reality, who knows really. we dont even know if the results show us anything of use for these mental sides yet.

sage 217 wont be as expensive as the IV product they have. KOR was midterm on my outlook, and it still has a chance to get approved as breakthrough therapy which speeds it up by a couple years i think

honestly, your best bet is to figure out how to deal with it right now. you cant feel feelings with her? try to artificially create them and go along with it

nothing else we can do, this is my hardest problem too

#58

Like i dont really give a damn about sex. But emotionless robot as i am right now is disguisting. Breaktrough therapy really speeds these things that fast? So which phases of approval are bypassed?

Im trying to but as you know its almost impossible.

Baylor is the biggest study ever on pfs?

#59

yes baylor would be the biggest study ever. if it delivers what the objectives were, its like a tsunami

im not sure about the exact details about breakthrough technology, all i know is it speeds up drug development a lot, and someone was estimating drug development without factoring in the breakthrough therapy, and it extended by 3 years.

its a big deal

its not impossible, you just have to realize that these are cards you are dealt with, and you will play them. you also have to realize that by accepting this, you have an advantage over other people, because you are mentally tougher

its only true if you allow yourself to make it true. dont hold yourself back. 1 day at a time, and 1 step at a time

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#60

There is hope for recovery during time too but this crash a month ago was devastating.