Distraught with my life

Coping
#12

Come on dude stop the negativity. You will improve and maybe even recover. It just takes time. I was 100% asexual and screwed 4 years ago. Now I’m 90% recovered. Libido is higher than pre PFS.

Also increasing androgens is possibly a terrible idea in your case. I was the same, couldn’t tolerate any DHT increase and got fucked from TRT injections. I stopped TRT, crashed my testosterone levels and felt better instantly. When your AR is massively overexpressed after fin you have to keep androgens LOW at first. Over time you will gain more and more androgen tolerance again.

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#13

Is it? Or did you just forget how a real libido felt…

Even during my androgenic super horny phases it wasn’t the same. The fire/pleasure from a high sex drive was reduced to a mild firey tingle. I honestly doubt we’ll ever recover to pre pfs… How often you get horny isn’t just the problem, it’s how horny you get too…

I used to get insanely horny. Now it feels so pathetic. I might be being negative but I don’t see androgen receptors slowly over years just fixing themselves…

If more androgens make me worse then I’ll probably just nose dive off a bridge

#14

Can vouch for @Invictus’s story. He did end up getting better for sure.

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#15

I’ll say after more than a decade of PFS, with really really horrible downs, there are up moments that make it better to be alive. Yes, sometimes they’re far and few between, and cutting out all seemingly depressing things, whether they be people, TV shows, music, etc…helps a lot.

I can’t advocate enough for healthy eating and vigorous exercise. One really good session of working out and weight lifting gives me morning erections for 2 days. It’s tough to keep up, but sometimes, during an intense workout, I feel alive again. It’s only for a few minutes, but it’s something and gives me hope.

#16

A life fighting where a good day is considered having a morning erection. Are you aware of the baseline you’ve adjusted to? Every normal person is living a life thousands of times better than us.

Their morning erections come whether they did heroin and meth injections for years on end… We have been doomed to live a half life, if you can even call it that.

I’m glad you’ve adjusted and are ok with that. I’d rather be dead, sorry.

#17

Yes, it’s a half a life, and a new, seemingly pathetic baseline. I’ve been through the worst, and adjusted to this. It’s a compromise. When I was “healthy”, I had dozens of massive setbacks-breaking almost 2 dozen bones at different times, incarceration of a close family member, cancer twice, emergency surgery and a life threatening hospitalization for a burst appendix, and there are more. They all pale in comparison to this condition, which I know will be solved, or appropriately treated.

Due to the ridiculous popularity of propecia, it’s inevitable many more people will be plagued with this condition, and this will cause a massive increase in research and treatment options. We are not alone with this condition, and I’m not ready to loose the possibility of missing out on any good years that may be left.

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#18

Yes it is stronger than pre PFS. I can get even more horny than pre PFS. I’m very dominant now, which was never the case pre PFS. Even my dick sensitivity is now constantly amazing.

My DHT and/or AR expression must be way higher now than pre PFS.

Only thing that could be better are my orgasms. Still working on that. Currently trying some NAC cycles. Basically raising and then lowering dopamine. I’m sure my dopamine receptors are over expressed just like the AR. They need to be down regulated.

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#19

I hear ya on the morning wood thing. Waking up with a dead penis is one of the hardest things about this for me. It is like waking up in prison every day.

With the being said, the other part of me, the more positive part says, “ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering. There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

I remember seeing this quote on a bench when I was at my lowest point in 2018.

Most suffering comes from how/if we identify with our thoughts. I know this, because when I have been hopeful that there will be a cure or read a very positive post, my moods jolts up.

Try to be positive, don’t let your mind bully your body. I’ve spent 5 days on the forum which is a ton of time and that’s over a period of a year. You have spent 2 days in the last month. You gotta break the OCD/ neurotic loop man. I’ve been there, I know the damage of the mind spiral.

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#20

@Junkieasteride for what it’s worth, the human spirit has this strange ability to rebound back from tremendous loss. I never thought I could be happy or okay with a dead libido and everything else going on. But surprisingly, I’m moving on.

Check out this classic study that says quadriplegics get more happiness out of the mundane than lottery winners do.

Basically, we have a baseline level of happiness. When tragedy occurs, we get depressed. But overtime, we approach our baseline. Same with awesome events like winning the lottery. We feel elated, then… it’s back to normal happiness.

I’m not saying I don’t miss the old days. I still feel this weird anhedonia and feelings don’t hit me like before. I’m not saying I’m giving up and won’t keep looking for answers anymore.

All I’m saying is, I’m no longer a complete dumpster fire of a mess as days 1-90 of PFS. I’m doing… alright. And that’s okay with me for now. “Radical acceptance.”

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#21

It’s so sad that in a few years. I’ll be ok with a low libido… :frowning:

Oh what could’ve been… I messed it all up

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#22

I know, it’s super sad to think about. But the attitude of the moderators is that we’re not folding our cards and giving up. We’re gonna try and figure this thing out, and see how we can help ourselves. We have a huge uphill battle, but we really made progress in 2019. I’ve only had this condition for about 3 years, but from what I know, we’re in the best position yet.

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#23

Soon I’ll be using Methamphetamine to try and stimulate a libido, it is by far the strongest stimulant for this purpose.

After that. I’ll run proviron and masteron, not at the same time but in that order to see how I respond to them.

I respect the attitude of you and the moderators and I’m glad you are at a place of acceptance. I am willing to take thse risks to expand knowledge on pfs (if such a thing will even do that)

Many people report success with methylphenidate no? I understand the advantages of avoiding treatment but I’ve used about every drug on the planet and I’m willing to experiment.

If I get worse that would suck but if I can find some interesting results then it will surely expand the limited knowledge we have on pfs.

For example high serotonin and dopamine triggered by meth used to make me incredibly horny. I’m wondering if such an effect is possible post-pfs.

As for masteron and proviron I’m just hoping they can give my libido and mood a boost, I’m willing to accept the risk. My high TRT doses I seem to recover from after a couple of weeks so worse case scenario I feel shitty for a bit.

I’ve always been a risk taker, probably a problem with my prefrontal cortext. Its why I took accutane I thought hell I want the strongest acne medicine! It’s also why I took fin without proper research into its side effects…

So yeah its has got me into a lot of shit and it will probably continue to as you say :joy:

I’ll let the forum know how things go. Successful stimulation of libido through stimulants means mild doses of amphetamine/methylphenidate may be a temporary treatment. I’m just using methamphetamine because I’ve used it in the past and I also know its probably the best for the sexual effects so should it fail, it would be interesting results to the forum regardless.

Sorry for the tangent, glad you’ve found a peaceful life through acceptance :pray:

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#24

Never every dont methaamphetamines, never play with dopamine externally. I repeat NEVER

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#25

My dopamine receptors recovered after extreme meth abuse. I’d say they’re a lot more adaptable to recovery than serotonin. At this point I don’t care about messing with my dopamine, dopamine damage isn’t like androgen damage. Theres a chance to bounce back so long as you don’t go too hard imo

#26

Your body is not the same with PFS.

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#27

I’ve used amphetamine and cocaine since pfs and recovery was exactly the same as if I hadn’t had PFS. Just anecdotal evidence from me.

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#28

I am fighting a similair disease, PSSD, for 2 years now. Everything that I have tried has worsened me. I went from an extroverted happy guy with lots of friends, to an empty shell who can’t even have a normal conversation anymore. I have bad anhedonia, no emotions and no libido. Had to move in with my parents, to lay down and rot there all day in bed. I have left the house around 5 times in the past 6 months, mostly for things like doctors. I don´t see my friends anymore (they feel like strangers) and girls, well, that ofcourse is off the table. Sorry, but all these comments above here about you will get better are just bullshit. The fact is, it’s extremely rare to get better, and there is a big chance you get worse trying shit. The only legit chance of maybe getting better is research and probably gene therapy, which takes years upon years. THIS is the reality of these diseases, don’t sugarcoat shit. People should make decisions based on reality, not on fantasies.

I do want to tell you, try to wait it out for a few months more though. Things do change in the first months. After that initial period you can make decisions about the future based on a more solid baseline, instead of the fluctuating beginning period.

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Just my thoughts and ongoing hypothesis...continuously changing and in draft mode so please do not take any of this information as a recovery treatment
#29

Thanks for your experience mate. Good read. I too aren’t convinced in sudden recovery, not for no reason. Hopefully I have some success with hormone therapy else I’m doomed.

It’s awful what’s happened to us and that these drugs are even allowed to exist

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#30

Man, thaks Good because when im in TRT the mental symphtons go way, but my ED stay and Just when i’m not crashed my Dicks work.
Now i’m natural to observe How my body Will responds, until now i Fell worse. But something that relieve my emmotional and Fell better like i was before PFS, is do sports. If you doesn’t tried It i recomend. After exercises i Fell so great and my day get better.

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#31

What did you do to crash your Testosterone levels Invictus? Was it just the Progesterone? Anything else?

(I too am suffering from milk thistle and not Finesteride)