That’s horrible.
Maybe, once this disease is recognized, the horror of it and the immense suffering we had to go through while being seen as lunatics, will finally beget true compassion from the people close to us.
And if we’re lucky, funds for further research.
Yes @Crembo , It s still unknown
If you tell about it people laugh and say “What is not there. I have never heard of that” They recognize it as a kind of a slapstick comedy.
Or they insist that these symptoms are all typical for a depression like your mother @Deadinside, but even doctors for psychiatry do that.
Yes for the devil even impotence, shrunken genitals, muscle loss seem to be typical depression symptoms. Gum reseed, holes in the skull, male breasts, feminization, numbness of genitals, all are so very typical symptoms of a depression!!!
Doctor’s don’t believe because there is no ICD 10 entry, so it doesn’t exist.
My friends and neighbors who see my transformation and my really dark brown circles under my eyes believe me. That this is more than a simple depression. The keyword I took hormones or a medication that interrupts the hormone household sounds clearer.
But the dimension of lobotomizing and chemical castration, muscle atrophy and dry injured eyes, reptile like skin, total loose of sexuality, love and enjoying anything, social anxiety, that hide at home from everything, loosing all skills to work, to organize themself, to do the household, to spent time with their hobbies and sports, dating, partnership no one can imagine.
With great respect I look to all them who fight.
All those who force themselves to work and manage their household and life.
Even those who seek hope in the protocols of the usual suspects and throw themselves into a new protocol with every failure have a better chance of dealing with the matter than those who have given up. Although some have really shot themselves down with substances that are known to be dangerous.
But they fought.
Maybe I’m to old. I have been shot down from a white horse as a proud rider into a golden future, down to the mud. Lost my pride, my love, my friends, myself as that what I was, so I’m left totally broken.
And I want that all the pharma lobby rent b… and girls recognize how they destroyed our life’s and don’t longer piss on the lives of the pharma victims.
Again and again!
I have seen improvement in my physical condition since the beginning e. G. All the horrific pain in my groin and private area but the neurological symptoms persist. Everyday the constant tinnitus ringing is like having an electric screwdriver in my head. I pray to one day hear silence. I am coming up to 4 months with no change in it.
So I hope you live together with your parents in peace again. I’m really pleased to hear that your sexual and physical sides gone away after half a year. I hope the anhedonia and depression too. Tinnitus is bad, but I have it for 25 years and you get used to it.
From my physical and neurological symptoms I could try to recover. Sexual symptoms after 59 years to loose my cock is horrible. But most severe symptom is the 90 % mental shut off. I have no power anymore even for the daily basics like clean the dishes and the house or wash my clothes, going outside for a walk, even leaving the house. I feel that my brain is still there in my head but It’s totally shut off. I’m doing nothing, I stopped thinking, I’m now in a sedated, narcotic state. Nothing feels real anymore. I only hope to fall asleep and never wake up again. I write that in the dairy with a trigger warning not to demotivate the young ones with their lives ahead. But we elder ones are done I think. Just waiting to say good bye.
你好，神
我现在很累，但我想告诉你我的“麻醉大脑”最近有一点点好转，请你相信，这最起码是可以变化的。
我跟你在一起，我也不相信什么“墙上戳狗屎的疗法”，现在光想到要这样恶心地长期生活下去，就觉得很累。
也许等我被治愈的时候，我都成一个老头了，但也许事情也没那么恐怖，我们都是精神病，没法对未来作出准确的判断，不是吗？我可以拍张照给你。
我坐在街边看这个世界，但我很难看懂它，我又陷入了一种昏昏沉沉的脑疲劳的感觉…
My Friend,
You’ve been quiet this past week. I pray you are holding steady. You and I (plus a few others) are the grandfathers here: tired, maybe worn down, but still setting an example.
If we who have been dealt a slow death sentence can keep going, one day at a time, maybe those young enough to have hope for a cure will someday look up to us.
Are you up to a mental challenge? Jim
Dear Jim,
my friend sent me the tarot card of the fool and the mighty queen. I have had my little life. My house, my hobbies, my little daughter, some friends, the nature.
But than some dark clouds appeared on my blue sky.
I changed my urologist only because he refused to give me a medicine. Im sure it was finasteride, he won’t give me. I didn’t asked him and changed to another urologist.
Deadly mistake!
Than I started a psychotherapy sold by my health insurance. I looked for a very good looking business like lady never asked whether she was qualified or not. So many selfharming tendency’s from my childhood with my overmighty mother never spoken about. She never said anything, so we wasted years and health insurance money for talking about shit only. And my way into the catastrophe was enhanced, because I lost the chance to look for a serious therapist
Next huge mistake.
If there is no blind confidence in your partner and real Kameradschaft for lifetime, you should break up a fucking fuck relationship so long as you are the strong one with a huge cock who is lucky remembered and never try it again…
Maybe you get PFS and your weak cock breaks your manhood. Makes you a worthless handicapped peace of shit in a woman’s eyes.
The next big mistake!
And I fool after all throated the poison under pressure, when I thought it is all over now. That fucks me down forever
Yes @JimWildman I edited it 5 times. Last schedule in that what once was a lucky little life. Fuck MSD. Fuck this perverted brains who developed the genetical sickness of poor hermaphrodites to a perverted medicine with perverted manipulated medical trails.
Ha, @Exsexgod, I was about to ask you to inform me when the final version was posted! I think I read three drafts, you should have kept that money hungry prostitute in your story!.
Seriously, what could take your mind off your pain and suffering, if only for a short while? Something to occupy your mind in a positive manner. Maybe a challenge… Jim
Look I’m just laying on a garden chair in a little summer garden at the city limits beside the forest. My little lovley daughter, with to friends and their parents. In former life a joy and the beginning of a funny evening. Sometimes ending drunken in the little hut. That was me. Talking, laughing, buzzing. I remember parties with kiff and ganja in an old people’s car bus a bully. And beer boxes. When we were punks in the eighties.
But you know well, now they all stare at my dark brown circles under my eyes. My cancer patient like face. No joy for me. It’s the same as staying in a parking garage. I feel ashamed. My stunning fiancee was an eyecatcher. I have been a handsome boy.
The young ones have to fight. Sometimes they surrender. I know that from my privat groups. Than they start to fight again with the next protocol.
@Exsexgod
So what keeps you going day by day, what motivates you to get up and crawl to your garden chair?
Does your beautiful young daughter make you smile, put a twinkle in your eye again?
You gave her life, now let her help you live your life!
You are so lucky! Picture her face and smile! Remember her innocent love for daddy!
Life is not hopeless until you’re lowered into the grave! Bury your misery instead, and raise that proud Germanic chin high and vow to attend her wedding!
Smile, friend. Jim
My day and my life are beyond good and bad.
I lay in bed till midday. Mist till 3 o clock, because there are definitely no reason for me to stand up anymore. Than I feel ashamed to have breakfast in a cafe or bakery store, so the last time I visited Mc Drive or KFC Drive to have chicken peaces for breakfast and a Mc Donalds strawberry shake. I enjoy it in my car under a tree at the fields. Car is a garbage basket.
Than I hang in my chair and message sad messages. Don’t even have a walk. In the early evening I call pizza service with pizza tuna, anchovies artishick, a cheap rose and coucjky dough ucecream or buy some chips sourceam taste and Bavarian White Beer and watch Netflix Narco or old German Derrick or Kommissar feeling lonley and disabled from all. If the ex Mr penis power see my stunning neighbor woman I get shocked as PFS zombie nie, feel myself totally worthless and hide myself like an eunuch, from the other neighbors like an escaped maniac.
Don’t wash myself and my clothes. Living like a bum.
House is wasted. My computer is out of order. Telefon the bad gohst us driven in. My bakeoven is fucked since two years.
Supervisor comes every fortnight to deal my finances. Social worker comes once a week to motivate me for a doctor’s appointment or a breakfast with other escaped maniacs. Room cleaning service comes once a month to clean the rotten rooms.
Now I get more support from the healthcare. They help me wash myself. Go to the supermarket. Wash my clothes…
I have been a very funny best ager with stunning women in my side. Wearing total creazzy hippie saccos and a well known old freak. I did my business with my real estate and other things. Have been sportive all my live. Enjoyed breakfast at nine. It was a cult. Enjoyed every minute if my life.
In this aftermarth times only when my daughter visit me and we sit together playing shach or kniffle I feel like a human again.
Without her I only had one thought to end up this zombie life. I would like to by a gun in a gun store like in the US sone bullets and… Where a the trails for pharma criminals like the clinical trail liers.
Yes, really not a Motivation story again. But it’s the truth of global Pharma. And all the other victims can be proud to live a better organized life…
I’m going more and more weird!!
Many others see PFS as a technical problem of the hormone axis. There is a hormone level to low so you have to take a hormone or a pre hormone and everything is fixed. Like in the PFS recovery. I tried but mentally total wasted, it doesn’t function for me and I feel bad and alone and as a looser.
For me it’s the total destroyed brain, the castration and lobotomizing that I can not handle any more. So I sit inside my house totally lonley now disconnected from all. I’m even afraid of my neighbors, sometimes even of the children in the neighborhood, because they recognized that I m sick and insane now.
And I feel sometimes forgotten, because I m not able to repair my feeling by the next supplement or hormone. So please if there is some one feel like me please let me know. I only now some other guys who feel like that.
I want to know that I’m not living alone in this parallel universe. Like @LazarusRy and @JimWildman, @mstone and some others I know and I m in contact with.
I cannot solve my PFS as technical problem. I have to solve my mental blockade. To live in this state I don’t want for the next decade. Not another summer behind closed rollos.
Yes dear Ryan we have to live a total fuck off in body and mind. My weird hungaryan fellow called me a weak one. To weak for pfs.
Yes he was right I’m to weak for this shit. I’m insane after a year already.
@Exsexgod you’re the opposite of weak I know how bad this can get you’re alone in this lobotomised state etc the fear of going outside is an indication of the severity of your case. Like everything anhedonia, anxiety, etc has different levels/ degrees of severity. It’s been with me for over 2 decades and i could function up until a few years ago. As its progressed / got worse those abilities have become further reduced and I totally relate with those who can no longer function. Until someone walks in your shoes they should not judge you. What you’re being subjected to js abhorrent and inhumane
You’re a hero in my book these things won’t mean anything but stand tall, hold your head high because each day is a victory. The one who sees your suffering is upstairs and he has his arms around you.
Becauae of your bravery and because of the person who you are you’ll have a seat at his table one day long after when yiou’ve got through this.
Continue to do what you do and ask God for help each day. Never give up, he will come to your aid.
This level of suffering cannot be for nothing. We will be restored
His ban expired, tell him to get his ass back here and drop some truth bombs.
Was that BSVP? Lol
No connection anymore!